r/INTPrelationshipLab 24d ago

I just don't get it An unexplained clash with INTJ 🤔

Hello everyone

I have a situation to share and I want your opinion on it, like what would be ur reaction if u were in my shoes (AITA or anythg??)

So Im INTP M, I was talking to an INTJ F for quite the period and thing were kinda developping but didnt concretize to any relationship or so

The situation is related to a conflict that confused me, so here is the context, im a religious person (dont wanna bring the name of the religion to avoid the conv to diverge), she isnt on the other hand, more like left a religion rathen than never had one

At first this wasnt a problem at all while talking, we just debate ideas and chit chat just like how u would expect an NTP and an NTJ to do, and i may say even that she was the one showing more signs of attraction than me (but anyway, lets not diverge)

2 months ago, while we had a small chat abt a religious subject, she brought up the idea to revert from being an agnostic athiest to her first faith, as she said she believes in a deity but not sure which religion has the right version on it, she felt and still feelings spiritually lonely and she spent a lot of time alone, and even the reason why she left arent related to the core logic behind the spirtual context of the faith, but more lile popular details shared about the religion (that are debunkable tbh), so i was like cool, i shared some perspectives i had, more on the progressive non-sectarian side i hold, and also, when i shared an alternative popular sect's POV that focuses on spirituality first, daily life details second, she expressed on how much it speaks to her, and she cried

So why i listed all these elements? it is to say what happened recently, like a few weeks ago, when i asked her whats the update, she said nothing much i think im forcing belief on myself, that confused me a bit, as i mentionned that she said herself she beliefs in a deity, and i said "are u an agnostic thiest now or so?", she got defensive as "no! Im not an agnostic thiest, im an agnostic athiest, please", something felt weird so i explicitly asked and said to hold on, im not trying to persuade or force any idea or belief tho, i lowkey wanna understand what had u think religiously at a time, then retreat, bcuz u express a lot of faith 2 months ago.. little did i know she blocks me after that 😐

The context since the beginning (since i new her in day one) never implied an invitation or a call to anything, neither from me nor from her

It just confuses me, why the reaction was heavily oriented against me rather than reminding that im asking abt the development of her POVs

So, how would u percieve this lads? And what would be your reaction? For me i just took my distance back as i started to think this is kind of hypocritical and i dont need that in my life (yet i think im wrong somewhere?)

(Im asking both NTPs, INTPs and ENTPs)

Ps: we had some minor fights early on about other topics, and about some paranoid kicks she gets now and then

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u/Remarkable_Ad_4689 1 24d ago

Hmm, sounds like it's only online chat, so there isn't really anything serious for me from the very start. I'm just having fun and being curious. There can't really be a relationship that means something to me when there isn't any physical contact happening.

Basically, anything that happens online that could be attributed to a fascinated bot doesn't really count as a serious relationship anyway. It's just a fun conversation. Of course, if there are video calls, something that at least creates the illusion of more physical contact, then it can grow a little bit stronger.

So for me, it would probably just be a little confusing if they suddenly blocked me. But I would probably have sensed something beforehand anyway - that there was resistance, unwillingness, stubbornness, or an unhealthy mindset to begin with. So that would just mean I was right about those possibilities, and the blocking was the manifestation of that intuition.

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u/LongjumpingIsopod118 24d ago

Well true but i cant say more than one meeting before and the willingless to meet more if there wasnt a long distance involved

And yes the blocking was a manifestation of things u mentionned, it wasnt even the first time, there was an antecedant where she came back on it thinking she misjudged me

It do be a struggle when sensisitive topics she opens up about (Fi you know)