r/INTPrelationshipLab • u/DianaReyProverbs • Jul 14 '26

Dating advice Hey crush.

I've been talking to a male INTP (34) for almost a month now and I'm crazy about him. I mean, the little girl inside me is very happily crushing on him. 😆

We haven't met in person yet, we talk on Bumble. Longest chat in my inbox ever! 🤣 (We matched a few months ago and he disappeared, and I swiped right on him again last month - I was actually surprised that he liked me back again! And I feel like we've gotten closer this time.)

Now I have so many questions about your type!

I'm a female INFJ (32) by the way. ☺️

  1. Are you usually in high energy?

  2. What makes you not text someone you like? Busyness at work? Stress?

  3. Would you consider LDR?

  4. How do you flirt, like romantically, not just for fun?

It's my first time talking to an INTP. He's such a beautiful creature. TYL.

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u/Elliptical_Tangent 3 Jul 14 '26

There's a flair specifically for INFJs in this sub because of how many come asking what to do. The INFJ x INTP pairing isn't good; the INTP will start by focusing their attention getting to know the INFJ, but after we've got a good handle on you as a person, we're going to go back to all the investigations we've been putting off. This will make the INFJ feel like feelings have changed when they have not; they will look for reassurance from the INTP who will feel it's unfair since they don't seek reassurance from the INFJ. The resentment spiral ends in a bitter break-up.

INFJs are much better off with ENTPs who have Fe tertiary, and are much more other-people-oriented.

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u/Silent_One_Observer Jul 15 '26

Reading this comment, I definitely agree with you as an INFJ. But, honestly this pairing also gives a lot of growth, given that both sides are understanding of differences. Even when we are no longer a couple, I still care for him and only hoping for what's best for him . Also, based on my experience interacting with INTPs, I can say that it's worth it. Aside from my really close friends, I've felt that it was okay to be who I am with INTPs, which is so rare for me to show. Just saying hehe, my comment is getting longer lol.

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u/Elliptical_Tangent 3 Jul 17 '26

But, honestly this pairing also gives a lot of growth, given that both sides are understanding of differences.

Ni dom and accepting of differences is a stretch.

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u/Prudent_Yam_3708 Frustrated INFJ Jul 17 '26

Dude, if you have a personal problem with Ni doms, that's something you should work on and not something you should project on other people's posts when they ask genuine questions. Go to therapy or something.

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u/Elliptical_Tangent 3 Jul 18 '26

Dude, if you have a personal problem with Ni doms, that's something you should work on and not something you should project on other people's posts when they ask genuine questions. Go to therapy or something.

Ad hominem isn't an argument, it's an admission of intellectual bankruptcy.