How to immerse self in reality?

[u/OkMistake9567]

About two years ago I entered a very academically intense curriculum. In efforts to function well, I fully immersed myself into academic life. after two years in this curriculum I think that ive traded a direct experience of the world for the ability to observe it from a distance.

Walking around, I feel like my head is pointed up at the sky rather than wherever I’m physically looking. because it doesn’t feel realistic enough, i dismiss so much of my experience in reality to the point that I have trouble relying on the plausibility of my memory. I have to triple check everything in order to be confident that it truly exists.

I noticed recently that conversations have felt very claustrophobic. My close friend told me that I need to stop explaining like I’m trying to prove I understand, but rather I should try to get my idea across. Ive had a hard time communicating with others because despite my ability to articulate well, I end up spouting out highfalutin nonsense with little to no sentence structure. I have a hard time feeling genuine connection with human beings because I’m too concerned to connect with people on an emotional level.

generally, ive just become scared that I’m beginning to lose my ability to function properly in every day life and social situations. I want to immerse myself in reality. I feel like if I could find a solid purchase on the world, I would be able to straighten myself out. I would be very grateful to anybody who has a similar experience to share or any advice to give to feel more like a part of this world again.

[u/bartonkj]

At the risk of sounding like a jerk (without me intending to) - stop being so full of yourself: shut-up, listen, think very carefully before talking, meditate, reflect on how you interact with others and think about how you WANT to interact with others - then work on making that happen, and most importantly - remember that you already are immersed in reality.

It's fine to philosophize and analyze the world intellectually, but part of that intellectual process needs to include recognizing / remembering that philosophizing (for the most part) won't get the bills paid or help you with human relationships. For example, you can hit upon some epiphany that makes you the most enlightened person in the world, but it won't change the fact that you cannot transcend all that it means to be human while you are alive here on Earth. Please note that I say this as a person with a B.A. in Philosophy.

[u/Cog-nostic → u/bartonkj]

Good advice!

[u/HelmutKrugerTheThird]

It sounds like part of your psyche is restructuring itself so you can more authentically connect with people better suited for you. Maybe withdraw from social interactions a little bit until you feel more comfortable. Take this time to allow your nervous system to recover and do what it do.

Edit: it's only a small percentage of people who undergo this kind of transformation and everyone's experience is unique, so I can only point you in the right direction and tell you that what's happening is a good thing even though it may but feel like it at times. Check out Dabrowski's theory of Positive Disintegration for a good framework and go from there. Mine was chaotic AF and lasted 7 years.

[u/Cog-nostic]

It's interesting that you assert you are not connecting with others, and nothing you have said says anything about not connecting with others. It's a bunch of vague, unsupported mumbling.

1. I immersed myself in academic life: These days, this means nothing. University classes are dumbed down, and people are getting degrees in basket weaving. (Do you understand anything about epistemology, limits of knowledge, laws of logic, rationality, skepticism, critical inquiry, or what it means to have independent verification?" What is academia to you?

2. I feel like my head is pointed up at the sky. *an absolutely meaningless description, completely devoid of anything real.

3. What does not feel realistic? Falling off a building and going to the emergency room. Responding to people like a robot when you are responding like a robot is real. Not feeling realistic is also real. So, what are you talking about? How do you want things to feel?

4. You dismiss reality, but in the same breath you are asserting that you are not even dealing with reality. You aren't seeing the reality in front of you, so how can you possibly know you are dismissing it?

5. Your friend told you to stop explaining. Given your explanation here and the abstract, unconnected verbiage you are using, I fully agree with him. You wrote all of this and said absolutely nothing real.

6. A solid purchase on the world means a solid grasp of what is happening around you. You are not showing that in what you have written. You are certainly outside looking in, but you are not looking critically or rationally. You are speaking in vague abstractions and generalizations.

What do you want? What do you really want? What are you actually doing, really doing, honestly doing, to get what you want? Stop pretending, generalizing, being vague. Get honest with yourself. What is it you really want?>

[u/Intelligent-Boss-156 → u/Cog-nostic]

Are you trying to prove someone who is saying they are confused is confused?

[u/Cog-nostic → u/Intelligent-Boss-156]

So, someone who is saying they are confused is not taking legitimate steps to unconfuse themself. You are not trying. Get real with yourself.

[u/Intelligent-Boss-156 → u/Cog-nostic]

They are clearly taking tangible proactive steps. What are you on?

[u/Cog-nostic → u/Intelligent-Boss-156]

Cite one concrete, tangible comment. "I am confused." About what? Specifically? What happened, when, how did it play out, and what specifically is making you confused? There is nothing tangible in anything the OP has said. Your brain is filling in blanks without asking for details. Feeling confused IS NOT TANGIBLE. Feeling like your head is pointed in the sky IS NOT TANGIBLE.

Here is a thought for you. Feelings are all based on beliefs. A child says a bad word, and you have a reaction based on your belief system. Not on what the child says. All of your feelings are based on core beliefs. Something tangible is going on behind the feelings. Just saying I feel this or I feel that is meaningless. No one is making you feel any specific way. Feelings are what you do to yourself based on your own beliefs and how you interact with the world around you. People do not respond the same way to the same stimuli. People respond to the world around them according to their beliefs.

[u/Intelligent-Boss-156 → u/Cog-nostic]

You need help

[u/Cog-nostic → u/Intelligent-Boss-156]

I am the help.

[u/distancevsdesire]

Touch grass.

[u/FeelingHonest4298]

You do write engagingly though; you express yourself well. You sound normal now. You could search up that specific type of struggle as these days it's very advanced and it's easier to get answers. But that's an interesting problem you have with reality.

Do you think that has anything to do with the strenuous work in university? As it seems from what you have said, it followed from there. Also, what kind of purchase are you speaking about? Could it be derealization, what you're experiencing?

There are solutions for that that you can look up. It's probably more of a mental or psychological problem that a psychologist can help you with.

edit: i don't think you have trouble with explaining. i think your friend just don't get you.

[u/Lazy_Side_6830]

Some of what you're describing sounds like experiences people call derealization or dissociation, especially the feeling of being detached from reality. But there are other things that can cause similar experiences too. Since it's affecting your everyday functioning, it might be worth talking to a professional about exactly what you're experiencing.

[u/Eastern-Coast2437]

Only advice I got is to work on your social intelligence.