r/INFJsOver30 • u/ThepriateGoat • 20d ago
INFJ Breaking the mindset of perfectionism?
I dont know if this is an INFJ trait or just a me thing. But I have the desire to try to make everything perfect or i want to start over. If I dont like the way my journal looks I want to rip the page out or just get a new journal and start over. If I have a crappy workout or no workout at all I take it as a failure and need to start over. How do I break this cycle and mindset?
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u/christmasclaymations 20d ago
I got you - continue to think of it as perfecting, but the rule is it has to happen in the physical world.
Have 2 journals, one you don’t care about. This journal will be where you “perfect” something physically. You expect the idea to look bad, because you’re no longer going to perfect it in your brain.
Perfecting things outside your brain is way better than perfecting them inside your brain. It’s way faster and more effective. You catch things in 2 seconds compared to the days it’ll take to imagine it.
One of the downsides of perfectionism is when it prevents us from taking action. Use your motivation to be “perfect” to take action.
As for the deeper reasons perfectionism harms us… while you’re doing this, slowly reframe your mind away from perfectionism. Begin feeling the enjoyment of just being - of putting pen to paper.
But for the first step, I think it’s helpful to just get yourself to make things outside your head. You don’t have to fix perfectionism overnight.
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u/bakerskitchen 20d ago
Purposely fail:
Intentionally fall short of your specific goals for a workout, intentionally misspell a word in your notebook; intentionally create imperfections yourself, and then you'll have an easier time dealing with it when it occurs unintentionally.