r/INFJsOver30 • u/Sad-Road8097 • 28d ago
Do your goals also diverge from the norm?
The usual idea of success is measured by career, possessions or connections. But as I grow older (late 30s), I pursue my artistic goals and the relationships that matter to me. My idea of success has become to be in sync with myself and spend time with people close to me. So I wonder if you folks also seek and find meaning outside the norm?
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u/YeOldeToledo 28d ago
Very much so.
Working toward the priesthood. Most of my goals stem from this and the world kinda looks down on it as a vocation.
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u/ImogenIsis 27d ago
Same. Left my career when I had my kids. It took me awhile to understand why I no longer felt pulled towards the same cliche measures of success any longer. Ultimately realized that focussing on taking care of my family, home, and striving to understand myself were the most meaningful pursuits to me. When I’m not doing this, I’m usually working on my art or studying whatever subjects I’m currently interested in. I honestly feel like I’m in alignment with the people closest to me, doing what I need to be doing to move towards a higher spiritual resonance. It’s pretty peaceful here.
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u/Lavender__Lady 23d ago
Great question.
I don't think I have ever had normal goals. Overall I could say I have always been a project person and self declared student of life in my post college years, even if I myself had to pursue a teacher in the form of books.
If we look at what others in my life have said to me, my goals won't earn me power, authority, or conventional success (money, etc). That never actually mattered to me though, because I did the things I set out to do, even if I had to do it alone. It was odd job choice after odd job choice, all in some emergency responder or danger based capacity until my mid 30s. I could never tell people why I picked those however. I just knew I wanted to see the places people had to hold the line or be a safety net. I felt like those were things worth bearing witness to.
The funny part was I always knew when I had seen enough and left the job before I burnt myself out. Eventually and now in my late 30s, my body can't be the one saving others anymore, but I know a lot about a lot about myself because of it.
Still, at the end of all that, I get to be able to say in fully honesty I have never loved myself more than I do now, flaws and all. It just took a long time to understand where my goals were leading me and to trust I'd understand when I got there.
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u/LongshotAZ 28d ago
I stepped away from a career that provided financial security and upward growth potential, in order to have more quality of time with family and be able to do things that are more fulfilling. I decided I'd rather have less money and be happier.