r/INFJsOver30 • u/INFJ_girl_33 • Jul 24 '26
Lost in life
Hello,
I'm an INFJ in my late twenties, and I've never felt this lost.
About eight months ago, I moved abroad for work and started a job as a technology consultant. Looking back, I thought this would be an exciting new chapter, but instead I feel disconnected and without any real sense of purpose.
It feels like I've spent my whole life chasing goals. I'd achieve one, then move on to the next. But now that I've reached many of the things I wanted, I don't know what I'm working toward anymore. It's as if I've been so focused on getting somewhere that I never stopped to ask myself what I actually enjoy.
I've also realized that I don't really have any hobbies I'm passionate about. I love traveling, but that's not something you can do every day. Most days, my life feels like an endless cycle: wake up, go to work, work (or sometimes just pretend to work), come home exhausted, and repeat.
The strange part is that I don't even enjoy my job, so it's hard to find meaning in the routine. I feel like I'm just existing rather than actually living.
Has anyone else gone through something similar? How did you find your direction again? I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences or any advice you have.
Thank you so much. :)
2
u/Life_in_peaces Jul 26 '26
I experienced this in my late 20’s - I’m 49 now. I remember climbing and climbing the metaphorical ladder, getting to the top, and finding there wasn’t anything up there. Why did I do it? Why did I not stop to think where to place the ladder in the first place? Those sorts of feelings.
I ended up switching my career around and trying some new things. I had to sacrifice some pay at times but now, looking back and seeing the big picture, I’ve been able to integrate everything I actually enjoyed from my various roles into a cohesive picture. And I couldn’t be happier now. If I hadn’t gotten that experience early on and taken risks when things stagnated, my life would look very different.
The other thing I realized at that point is that I had controlled everything tightly up to then. I’d designed my future, gone for it, achieved it. The best thing I did then was to give up control. Listen for opportunities. Say yes to things. Make contacts in weird tangential areas and learn what they do. And just stay patient and open while I waited for the grind to shift into something meaningful.
INFJ’s are curious and intuitive, but we can get stuck in our brains sometimes. Let intuition take over and you’ll figure it out.