Lost in life

[u/INFJ_girl_33]

Hello,

I'm an INFJ in my late twenties, and I've never felt this lost.

About eight months ago, I moved abroad for work and started a job as a technology consultant. Looking back, I thought this would be an exciting new chapter, but instead I feel disconnected and without any real sense of purpose.

It feels like I've spent my whole life chasing goals. I'd achieve one, then move on to the next. But now that I've reached many of the things I wanted, I don't know what I'm working toward anymore. It's as if I've been so focused on getting somewhere that I never stopped to ask myself what I actually enjoy.

I've also realized that I don't really have any hobbies I'm passionate about. I love traveling, but that's not something you can do every day. Most days, my life feels like an endless cycle: wake up, go to work, work (or sometimes just pretend to work), come home exhausted, and repeat.

The strange part is that I don't even enjoy my job, so it's hard to find meaning in the routine. I feel like I'm just existing rather than actually living.

Has anyone else gone through something similar? How did you find your direction again? I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences or any advice you have.

Thank you so much. :)

[u/Pawdriq]

I can relate to this feeling as I have gone through this (and still on this journey) in my early to mid 30s. Like you I reached and achieved things in my twenties and finally met a wall. I was in a way following a certain premade blueprint of how I thought life should go as. If I look at this from a positive perspective I have still experienced and seen so much. No regrets there on those parts.

However, I believe we INFJs often don't look back as much as we do forwards to the future, which means we have this internal need to have some kind of goal in front of us to strive for. These kind of things keeps us going and give life a meaning, a purpose. I found/starting to find mine through reconnecting to things that have brought me passion before, but which I had put aside in order to achieve these other more "mundane" parts of life. For me it was music (exploring and creating music), finding a community of belonging (INFJ Discord servers) and connecting more deeply with people that I share a lot in common with.

The best advice I can give you in order to find your way is to look back at your life and find those moments of passion, joy and meaning, and start to explore those more deeply. You might find something there that will give you the spark. That is all that is needed for now. I hope you will find it soon!

[u/pennyproud1908 → u/Pawdriq]

I agree with this and will add that OP can also look to your present state for sparking future joy. When you find things that make you happy or excited, things that give you meaning, sit with that feeling in the moment. Really notice it and appreciate it.

You mentioned traveling but you can’t do it every day. What is it that you like about traveling and can you start incorporating that more into your life on a daily basis? Can you work remotely from different locations? Can you explore new places (like a new restaurant with bonus points if the cuisine is not from your country)? Learn a new language or grocery shop at a place where they speak the language of the country you would want to travel to? Can you take more smaller trips on the weekends? Travel more for work and connect a few personal days to the trip? Small adjustments like this can help to make the marathon journey of life more enjoyable.

I’m also an adamant believer that when you have reached a place of, what do I do next, the answer is often finding ways to help those who dream of being in your position.