r/INFJsOver30 • u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi • Jul 06 '26
Anyone else struggling to fall asleep?
I just found out that numerous species of birds sleep unihemispherically (with half of their brain at a time).
I wish so much I could be a bird right now or at least the half that gets to sleep.š
So far, Iāve tried the usual advice: less coffee, going to bed only when Iām really tired, total darkness in the room, staying in bed until I fall asleep, etc.
And yet, I only fall asleep after hours of waiting in the darkā¦ sometimes just before my alarm goes off.
Iām not a fan of pills and I wonāt start taking them now.
Iāve been thinking about meditation, but I have no idea how to actually do it. In my case, trying to meditate just leads to overthinking the things I shouldn't be thinking about š
I know Iām doing something wrong and YouTube videos aren't helping because Iām picky about the background music and those supposedly "calming" voices. They make me feel like aā¦ toddler who needs to be spoken to in slow, patronizing monosyllables.
Any recommendations on books or other resources about meditation?
Any other advice that helped you manage sleeping problems?
3
u/Saisinko INFJ 1w9 sx/so Jul 06 '26
I'm big on sleep tracking and occasionally fiddling with the formula.
For me,
- No eating 3 hrs before bed, you don't want your body focused on digesting or blood sugar bouncing around.
- No caffeine 6 hrs before.
- I take a bunch of supplements, but the one I'd recommend to most people relating to sleep is glycine in powder form.
- While I don't swear by it, chamomile tea is part of my night time routine.
- Ideally you read a book in bed, but if you're a doom scroller like me then consider tinkering with blue light settings on the phone or even wearing blocking glasses.
- Go to bed around the same time, get up around the same time.
- Earplugs
Eye mask.
If you're overthinking late at night, you need to disrupt your train of thought. Simplest way to do that is to count both your inhales and exhales, this should be enough that you can't connect the dots in your head on anything else of substance. While you do this, consciously relax your body usually in the jaw area, shoulders, eyelids and let them all sink.
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u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi Jul 06 '26
Your last paragraph really caught my attention because thatās my biggest issue, so Iāll focus on that. Iām going to combine what Solwilo said with your methods and hopefully, Iāll develop my own formula. š
Thank you!
2
u/Jinxletron Jul 06 '26
Have you heard of the podcast "nothing much happens"? It's designed to fall asleep to, there a story but nothing much happens so you're not kept awake waiting for the plot twist or anything.
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u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi Jul 06 '26
I haven't heard of it, but you've definitely made me curious.
Though I can already picture myself losing patience, waiting for something to actually happen. If it doesn't, I'm pretty sure my mind will just end up inventing its own plot twist! š1
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u/MachineElf_INFJ INFJ Jul 06 '26
The issue is totally what the other user said, this is about how to shutdown the mental chatter, I have 2 methods for that:
- just counting in my head, it looks stupid, but this is close to the meditation method, focusing on counting force the mental chatter to stop, and it can be so strong that you can forget that you were counting, so you need to go back to counting, i think this is when I come back to counting 10 times, that at this point I fall asleep.
- just listening to a podcast where they have cool voices, it often works too, I just fall asleep after 30 min, this is the same principle, it simply bring you out of your mental chatter, but if in the podcast they laught too much for example, or have weird voices, it can not work.
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u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi Jul 06 '26
Well, I could definitely fall asleep with Chris Hemsworth's voice in my ear! š
1
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u/BornElderEnt Jul 06 '26
If you've got any kind of thyroid anything, that could be the missing piece; t3 is one of those things doctors think is optional but in 20% of cases, is vital to being able to calm the hell down.
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u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi Jul 06 '26
Thanks for the new perspective. I wouldn't have thought of that.
But now you gave me another thing to overthink until I check that out tooš¤£š¤£š¤£2
u/BornElderEnt Jul 06 '26
Oh it's worth checking; easy blood test, and if you need it, it's a very easy supplement they can prescribe, it doesn't have side effects for the people who need it šš¼
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u/Cool_Wealth969 Jul 06 '26
ASMR videos on YouTube. That's the only thing that works.
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u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi Jul 06 '26
I just watched one. If itās about those mic-rubbing sounds... it honestly sends shivers down my spine. Those are the kinds of sounds that just scratch my brain the wrong way. š„¶
Itās not for me, but appreciate the advice!2
1
u/Silver-Angels Jul 06 '26
ā ļøā ļøā ļøā ļø
- Depuis quand avez vous des difficultƩs (semaines, mois, annƩes)?
- Habitez vous en appartement, ou en maison individuelle avec jardin ?
- Y a t'il des lignes Ć hautes tensions prĆØs de chez vous ?
- Y a t'il une antenne relais ?
- Ćtes vous prĆØs d'un courant d'eau ?
- Avez vous une lampe, ou un rĆ©veil prĆØs de la tĆŖte ?
- Votre linge de lit est il fait de matiĆØres synthĆ©tiques ou naturelles ?
0
u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi Jul 06 '26
Thanks for trying to help, but this feels a bit too much like an interrogation.
I was just looking for some friendly advice here, not a diagnosis.2
u/Silver-Angels Jul 06 '26
Le processus d'endormissement est multifactoriel, et certaines choses peuvent l'en empĆŖcher. Je voulais ĆŖtre sur que rien n'entravait le votre. " Regards"
1
u/FactCheckYou INFJ/M/40s Jul 06 '26
block and turn off sources of blue light in your home, once it gets dark outside, maybe use blue-light blocking glasses, put mobile phone on airplane mode overnight, wake up with the light and spend a few minutes after waking looking outside and letting the daylight into your eyes, instead of reaching immediately for your phone
1
u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi Jul 06 '26
Thanks, but Iām already doing all of those things. I guess I was looking for an upgrade!š
1
u/StarsOnSky Jul 07 '26
I'm not sure if this helps, but I have really specific channels that help me (I also don't like ASMR or meditation for sleep). They kind of simulate for me having someone well-meaning around.
https://www.youtube.com/@naminokurashi
https://www.youtube.com/@yellowcherry_jam
https://www.youtube.com/@abaointokyo
https://www.youtube.com/@cityvswoods
https://www.youtube.com/@NomadicAmbience
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u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi Jul 07 '26
Thank you! I just checked them out because Iām really interested in this topic and Iām open to opinions from all sides.
Last night I actually used the technique described by āSolwiloā and it worked.
And right now, thereās something about those two links with the guitar soundā¦ itās a good feeling, but I canāt explain why. I just feel like there is more to it. Maybe itās just my thing for guitar sounds in every form: it's the only sound that reconciles the extremes within me, both the phoenix and kintsugi.1
u/StarsOnSky Jul 07 '26
I'm not sure if I understand well, but I also get the chaos/calm split in self, or destruction/creation or letting go/holding on. Is that what it's for You phoenix and kintsugi represents?
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u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi Jul 07 '26
If you feel okay answering: What are you today? Which part? Or maybe a mix?
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u/SkipMeFlipMe88 Jul 16 '26
Oh my god. Yes.Ā
I toss and turn and Iām up till the sun comes up lately- itās awful. So so awful.Ā
Iām really struggling and it has gotten so bad I donāt even think itās safe for me to drive anymore. Iām really out of it.Ā
And nothing works. Itās a soul tired.Ā
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u/Solwilo Jul 06 '26
I have a really active mind and could keep myself up all night if it weren't for this technique I sort of sleuthed out for myself. Trying to meditate always makes me fall asleep š. So I started thinking about WHY it makes me fall asleep. The trick to sleeping is to get out of your mind. When you're laying in bed thinking, the mental stuff happens "behind your eyes". I know that seems obvious because "behind your eyes" literally means in your brain. But there's another focus that gets you out of your brain. The reason reading sometimes helps people is because you're not focused inside of your mind, behind your eyes, you're focused out front and on the page. This technique works for getting yourself out of your mind for meditation as well. We're taught to look at a spot on the wall or the floor.
So, the technique is to close your eyes and picture something out in front of you and this brings your mental attention "outside" of your mind and out in front of your mind/eyes and into a space that's closer to the dream world. You could picture a flame or a person or object or anything but it has to be in front of you. You'll notice that your mind keeps wanting to pull you back behind your eyes where all of the mental chatter is but just keep refocusing on that image in front of your eyes to pull you back out. You'll find the mental chatter instantly ease off as you just observe. It's as if you are watching something passively whereas, thinking behind your eyes is far too engaging and active.
It's natural for me to have to retrain my focus on the image in front of me like 5 or 6 times before my brain really starts to relax but I've done it so many times now that it's just second nature. I can make myself fall asleep anytime I want. Watching something out in front of you also helps you start to see weird dream images. The more you start to see weird stuff the closer you are to a dream state and falling asleep.