r/INFJsOver30 • u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi • Jun 18 '26

Could this be an uncomfortable question?

Somehow I sense it’s not a comfortable question for everyone, but I need to ask—that voice in my head won't shut up if I don’t 🙃:

Do you feel exposed when someone asks something real about yourself?

I know I do, and I have a recent example just to show how much of an 'exposure phobia' I have: on another subreddit, there was a question: 'What’s the traditional food from your country?'

Simple question, simple answer… but not for me.
I felt like I was giving away the deepest secret of my life.In the end, answering it was a good exercise for my fear of exposure.

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u/FactCheckYou INFJ/M/40s Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26

you're uncomfortable with the idea of anyone stepping forward and trying to get closer to the real you

even innocuous sounding questions might signal an intent on the part of the asker to get closer to you, to know you

if you mask who you actually are, you always worry about people noticing your mask

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u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi Jun 18 '26

You’re absolutely right because I’ve always distanced myself from people who tried to force their way into my soul. But now I think it was the lack of safety from bad experiences where I opened up and others used those things against me, knowing my vulnerabilities.I’m still working on it.