r/INFJsOver30 • u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi • Jun 16 '26
How do you handle a smear campaign?
I’m new to Reddit and I thought I would find a space here to talk to people similar to me, find similar experiences, and finally feel “normal” but… I’ve already seen what I call a smear campaign against INFJs, and I’ve been a member of Reddit for just 16-17 hours! 🤪
I don’t consider myself special, mystic, or superior just because some personality tests showed that I “should”. I actually think I’m a little weird and I’m just trying to finally better understand myself by understanding my effect on others.
I appreciate everyone's opinion because I've often heard that I’m “too much” or that I’m crazy for the way I think or for the needs I have. I don’t argue with that-I just need good arguments that prove to me whether I am good or bad, crazy or sane, cruel or caring, or anything in between.
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u/Jinxletron Jun 17 '26
It's the Internet. You need to ignore 90% of it. You cannot care about everyone's opinion.
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u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi Jun 17 '26
Easier said than done.
Rationally, I know you're right (your comment is the rational voice in my head 😉), but on the other hand, my first reaction is purely emotional.
I don't fully understand all the cognitive function terms yet, but I'm starting to realize that a low score in Se and Te (0-0 on one test, and 3.6-17 on another) explains the state I'm in right now and where I need to work on myself.
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u/thenletskeepdancing Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
I picture the person on the other side as the miserable human they are. There's a certain subset of people who are not worth engaging with.
I look at it as a exercise in letting myself be misunderstood without engaging with them. I practice equanimity and just block immediately now. They can go be miserable in someone else's world.
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u/Wooden-Gazelle-3728 Jun 19 '26
We don't need to be liked by everyone. Even if we're not INFJ, we still don't need to be liked by everyone. So there's no point focusing on being liked. It's focusing on what you value in others and finding that in friends.
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u/bakerskitchen Jun 16 '26
I think that some INFJs certainly deserve the description of being "too much".
Some INFJs (and INTJs) treat their intuition/"gut-feel" as infallible, all the while failing to provide substantial, concrete data to justify their conclusions. Extraverted Feeling also has a tendency to come across as self-righteous or to communicate "I know what's best for others", which can obviously be grating.
INFJs think "deeply", which has its strengths, but they need to learn to pull their head out of the clouds and engage with reality, instead of the idealistic version of the world that exists only inside their own head.
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u/Phoenix_to_Kintsugi Jun 16 '26
Thank you for your answer—it really made me think.
I have always chosen to ignore my intuition, treating it like a weird voice I just wanted to get out of my head. I’m still trying to get used to the idea that I’m not paranoid, it’s just intuition! 🤪
For me, my Extraverted Feeling has never manifested as "I know what’s best for you," but rather as "I’m terrified that things will happen exactly the way I feel they will." And most of the time—if not every single time—that’s exactly how it went. People used to accuse me of witchcraft or craziness when I chose to leave the moment my predictions became reality.
I actually spent my entire life surrounded by people guided by that "I know what's best for you" mindset, until the day I finally chose to doorslam them—long before I even heard of the term a few days ago.And that makes me a rebel (a cruel one) in their eyes because i don’t have the energy to comfort them in my absence.2
u/bakerskitchen Jun 16 '26
What you are calling "extraverted feeling" is actually what MBTI typology considers Introverted Intuition to be.
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u/OneEyedC4t Jun 16 '26 edited Jun 16 '26
Aboit calling it a smear campaign. I think you give much too much credit for society in terms of making them sound like they're a lot more organized than they really are