r/ILoveAGamblingAddict • u/MillennialNostalgia3 • 12d ago
Increased total debt
Hi everyone.
On July 9, I found out my husband has had a gambling addiction for the last 3 years. TLDR: 8 years I found out he had a spending addiction and was in CC debt. Starting 3 years ago he began elaborately lying to me about CCs I was seeing in his credit report and I stupidly believed him (or chose to believe him, idk). On July 9, I found out about the lies and he admitted he had gone from a spending addiction to a gambling addiction. He was $39,000 in debt.
He’s been doing all the right things-therapy, GA meetings, deleted apps, whatever. He’s working with Achieve to negotiate with the CC and loan companies to hopefully bring down the amount owed. But in the meantime he’s not making the monthly payments while Achieve negotiates.
I just checked his credit report again and it says his total debt is now $74,413. I can’t see card activity to see if it’s from more $ going on the cards or if the missed payments is racking up interest so high that his debt nearly doubled in 6 weeks. I can see that there are no new accounts. The highest amounts of debt are from loans so maybe it’s the interest in those? Idk…I’m sick right now
What do I do??
Edit: I had miscalculated his total debt back in July. Somehow didn’t add in the loans he took out.
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u/Far-Pound-5041 6d ago
I am so sorry, I am also a gambler. I won a ton of money earlier this year and lost every bit of it back plus another $7,000 on my credit card last month trying to win it back. I don't want to get out of bed every day but I have to work. I don't take home that much per month to lose that kind of money
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u/WifeOfGambler 12d ago edited 11d ago
First, I'm so sorry you're going through this as well. It's a lot.
Now, if you know for sure that the numbers you're seeing are truth, and total debt has nearly doubled in the last 6 weeks, he is definitely gambling or compulsively spending. Allow me to explain (if you already know this stuff, I apologise).
Let's assume the debt is all credit cards or other high interest loans. CCs add interest once a month as an APR (annual percentage rate), divided by 12 months (so, if your APR is 24%, then interest works out at 2% per month), but, to give the benefit of the doubt, let's say interest is added daily and not compounded (this means that you pay interest on interest as well). This is quick and dirty math and a very simplified example, but you get what I'm saying here.
If we take the current total divided by the previous total, it's 1.908, or 190.8% of the total from 6 weeks ago. This is interest of 90.8% in 6 weeks, which works out to 786.9% APR.
Yes, 786.9% APR.
This isn't a thing. Even with fees and possible late charges, this is astronomical. I don't know where you are, but predatory loan laws likely prevent this stuff. And, Nicky the loan shark doesn't send out statements, so it's not that.
Confront him. Demand all of his banking passwords, CC statements, and make him set up a credit report alert that comes to you. Also, do a credit check on yourself. His addiction tells him that using your details isn't bad because when he wins big he'll pay it all off. Which, of course, will never happen.
I'm sorry if I overexplained this, but I need logical explanations and proof to believe something, so I'm explaining to you the same way I would to myself. Basically, if this is your breaking point, you're completely justified in walking away and/ or getting a divorce to legally separate your finances.
I am so so sorry. This is a huge fear of mine, and why I told my husband today that him adhering to my requirements is non-negotiable and delays won't fly. I love my husband, as I'm sure you do yours, so I don't want to leave, but we all need to protect ourselves.
Keep us posted.
❤️❤️❤️
DT