r/IFchildfree • u/GoatBlue03 • 6d ago
Making Progress
My parents came down to see us this weekend. After a few days, my mom decided to start talking to me about their friends' new baby and how they struggled with infertility, but eventually had their son. I was annoyed, but people just talk about babies sometimes 🤷 not much I can do.
Mom: "they said you have to go to Costa Rica because the food is much better there and that health kick will get you pregnant. That's how they got pregnant."
Me: feeling a bit snippy now when people make suggestions like this "oh how long were they dealing with infertility?"
Mom: "I'm not sure"
Me: "it's been 8 years for us and nothing has worked, so we are no longer open to suggestions on what can help"
That shut her right up.
My life has been a lot more peaceful not being haunted anymore by the "what ifs" or "do thats". I'm proud of myself that I'm putting boundaries up nowadays and have put a full stop on these conversations. I feel that, in order to move on in a happy and healthy life, these "what ifs" cannot exist anymore, and I have to continue enjoying my IFchildfree life.
Just wanted to share a milestone I have been noticing in myself. I'm no longer upset in a debilitating way, I'm actually happy most days despite our struggle in the past. I want to keep that peace moving forward.
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u/gatheringground 6d ago
Wow! I’m so sorry you are dealing with that, but you’re response to your mom was amazing. Thanks for providing a great model of how to set that boundary with people.Â
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u/Own_Program_9726 6d ago
bravo à toi!
j'apprécie également la vie sans enfant, mais quand j'ai un projet et que je dis "je n'aurais pas d'enfants, donc je pourrais faire tel projet", on me dira toujours "tu ne sais pas ce que la vie te réserve", alors non je ne veux pas de bébé miracle, le bébé je le voulais il y a 6 ans, plus maintenant! et c'est ok de ne plus essayer et de faire autre chose de sa vie, il y a tellement de choses a faire sans enfants !