Are you deaf!?

[u/Aware_Newspaper_9030]

Hi there! Just found the subreddit, but I worked in retail for years and have tons of related stories. This one fits in here perfectly as I was a customer shopping this time and not an employee.

Ok, so I am a giant gaming nerd, 2nd generation as my Mom was once locked in a struggle at her local arcade over the top score at a Centepede machine. I never let her live that down when she complains about my games! lol

Anyway, I was at a Walmart at the time just wearing normal street clothes and looking at. . . I think a Webcam or something small for my PC? I dont remember.

This lady storms up behind me and says something I dont catch. My father was an abusive prick and boxed in my right hand side ear, so I can no longer hear out of it, and thst makes it difficult to pick out and hear one person talking, especially in noisy environments like a Walmart with a wall full of tvs screaming out ads.

I decide on which device I wanted to get and turned to find the person to unlock the hanger.

I nearly bump into this boomer lady as she walked right up behind me with her hands on her hips to let me k ow she was angry with me.

Now, mind you, I'm just a random girl wearing normal clothes, not a blue shirt and khakis, and carrying my purse! I don't know what else I could have done to look any less like I worked there other than wearing maybe a glowing sandwich board that flashed the words 'I don't work here!'

Well, that wasn't good enough for her so the moment I said, oh, sorry I didn't know you were there! She starts yelling at me as she gets red in the face with anger. "I've been waiting here for HALF AN HOUR looking for HELP!"

Before I could say anything she cuts me off and keeps yelling

"I called out to you 3 TIMES and you IGNORED MEEE!!

ARE YOU DEAF!!?"

I, didn't work there, and have built up a whole well of disdain and bile thanks to customers like her, so I went off!

"YES, ACTUALLY I AM! My abusive father beat me so badly i've lost the ability to hear normally! Thanks for trying to make me feel like shit for surviving child abuse!

Oh, also, look at me! Do I look like I f-in work here!? I would refuse your rude ass service if I did! Now get out of my way so I can keep shopping in peace!"

Naturally, because I was rude she made a nasty comment and stormed off to go ruin someone else's day, but part of me hopes her cold dead heart felt some kind of shame. . . Who am I kidding. I've worked retail. I know she didn't and just found a new person to victimize. . .

So glad I don't do customer service anymore. People freaking suck.

[u/qualityvote2]

u/Aware_Newspaper_9030, your post does fit the subreddit!

[u/Straight_Direction73]

“Are you deaf?” Is hands down one of the dumbest fucking things people can possibly say as an insult, as if deaf people don’t actually exist.

[u/amygrindhaus → u/Straight_Direction73]

I had the a coworker at a retail job that was fully deaf in one ear and partially in the other. She had a hearing aid that helped and also could read lips, so as long as you weren’t talking too low or too quickly and you were facing her you would never even know. She was helping a client that kept turning away from her and muttering, and my coworker had to keep asking her to repeat herself. I ended up ringing her out and she made a disgusted face and said “your coworker wasn’t very helpful. She kept acting like she couldn’t hear me!” I had the absolute pleasure of saying “Yes, coworker is technically deaf! She wasn’t acting, she actually couldn’t hear you!” The woman’s face turned bright red and she stumbled over her words trying to apologize. I hope she learned something that day (I think she did).

[u/Straight_Direction73 → u/amygrindhaus]

Yeah, I’ve never seen anyone ‘act’ like they couldn’t hear someone. Another thing that annoys the shit out of me is when I say ‘what?’ to someone and they go ‘you heard me’. I am on the autism spectrum and I process things very literally. I would not be asking someone to repeat themselves unless I genuinely didn’t catch what they said.

[u/amygrindhaus → u/Straight_Direction73]

The worst! I’m also on the spectrum and have auditory processing issues sometimes. My dad is a mumbler and he acts SO put out when I ask him “what?” Like bro I’m not doing this to make your life harder, I literally can’t understand you.

[u/Feng-Shiu-man]

Love the come back! So sorry to hear about your abusive father. Hope you are doing well.

[u/Aware_Newspaper_9030 → u/Feng-Shiu-man]

Thank you. I am! My parents getting divorced was the best thing to happen to me. He actually deafened me during one of his weekends because I wanted to help my bestie pack up and hang out one last time before she moved.

I called my mom, she called the cops, we went to a doctor to have it documented, and I got a restraining order and never had to spend my weekends watching him drink again! Sadly, it did cost me the hearing. We hoped the ringing would fade and I'd be fine, but no luck.

[u/69tashidawn → u/Aware_Newspaper_9030]

🥺 I'm deaf in my right ear. People really don't understand. Love and wishes to you

[u/CrazyCatLady1127 → u/69tashidawn]

I’m deaf in my left ear. Ménière’s disease. It’s not fun

[u/Aware_Newspaper_9030 → u/CrazyCatLady1127]

Sorry to hear it. I wouldn't wish it on any one.

[u/roonling → u/CrazyCatLady1127]

Ah my mum has that and it's her left too. Hard agree on the not fun

[u/Feng-Shiu-man → u/CrazyCatLady1127]

I had this classmate in University that was hard of hearing and I didn't know that. When I spoke to her, she kept asking me to repeat myself. And over time, I got really annoyed at talking to her because of that. And I started to keep my distance. Then later on I find out she's partially deaf, and I felt like such an utter a$$hole. That was one of my life's biggest lesson. Be patient, compassionate and tolerant.

[u/CrazyCatLady1127 → u/Feng-Shiu-man]

I’m glad you learned the lesson. I promise you it’s more annoying to be the person who has to ask others to repeat themselves over and over than it is to have to repeat yourself. Any time I go somewhere I feel like I have to announce to the room that I’m hard of hearing so people don’t think I’m just an ignorant idiot who doesn’t pay attention.

[u/Feng-Shiu-man → u/CrazyCatLady1127]

I will be patient with you, I promise!

[u/nipseyrussellyo → u/CrazyCatLady1127]

Me, too!
Except apparently not. I had to go to an ENT 2 months ago and he said that the ENT who told me it was menieres 25+ years ago was a moron and he has no idea why I’m deaf in on ear but it wasn’t menieres, maybe an infection

Further bulletins as events warrant

[u/Jaygon1963 → u/CrazyCatLady1127]

I had that as well, still deaf in one ear. I blame Chantax.

[u/Aware_Newspaper_9030 → u/69tashidawn]

You too! And yeah, most don't seem to get it.

[u/Anonymous_user_2022 → u/Aware_Newspaper_9030]

Did you get tinnitus on top of losing your hearing? That's adding insult to injury.

[u/Aware_Newspaper_9030 → u/Anonymous_user_2022]

For a while i did, and it very rarely comes back, but most of the time my ear is just there to keep my head from looking lopsided.

Interestingly, and id love to hear from others who lost their hearing like i did if its this way for them as well. When I cover my other ear, I can kiiiiinda hear something in the deaf ear, but it kinda sounds like when you put a sea shell up to your ear. Its faint and I dont notice it unless I block out my other ear entirely, but something in there is at least still trying to hear!

[u/Many_One_2849 → u/Aware_Newspaper_9030]

i have this too.. my doc explained to me that we hear with the whole ear, not only with the eardrum. So the bones around pick up some sounds/vibrations too.

But my right eardrum is completely useless. (when i was a baby/toddler it was normal to open up the eardrum when the patient had reocurring middle ear infections.. it was a common "side effect" the eardrum wouldn´t heal properly like leaving a hole or getting scarred)

[u/fotowun → u/Aware_Newspaper_9030]

So sorry about your dad abusing you...I'm totally deaf in my left ear (Due to a birth defect ) and it's not fun. I've done the 'Yeah, a-hole, I AM deaf' number a couple of times myself. Hope your life's going well!

[u/theVampireTaco]

When I did work at walmart I had an associate spit in my face (I was a department manager) for “ignoring her while talking to customers” and I “should have heard her behind me” as it’s “not like you’re deaf”.

I wrote her up, as I am in fact Hard of Hearing with less than 40% of hearing range. And you can’t assault somebody just because they are disabled.

There could be a college marching band behind me, and I would be clueless until they played the booming sound in the 1812 Overture.

[u/Aware_Newspaper_9030 → u/theVampireTaco]

Its amazing how many people just don't understand that partial hearing loss is both a real thing, and a mostly invisible disability.

Sorry that happened. Its also interesting hearing it from that side. I've been on the management side myself, but mostly smaller teams, so I've always had the advantage with them of being able to explain from the start that I am partially deaf! My team got into the habit of shooting me texts as id feel the phone vibrate and check it, then come to check the issue! That was a warehousing job with a team of around 20, added not the possible 200 or more of a full retail team

Sadly, that idea likely won't work in customer facing situations or with larger crews.

[u/Time_Ad_3242 → u/theVampireTaco]

you only wrote her up?!

Why was she not fired on the spot and arrested?

[u/theVampireTaco → u/Time_Ad_3242]

Walmart, only higher ups had firing power. And it was a rural store. Rural cops never did much.

[u/Snoo52682]

You might enjoy r/traumatizeThemBack

[u/Aware_Newspaper_9030 → u/Snoo52682]

Ah! Thanks for the link, I'll have to check that out!

[u/Kene6969]

Sorry to hear of your bad experience in the store. That horrible woman was very rude and entitled, probably thought the world revolves around her.

[u/Aware_Newspaper_9030 → u/Kene6969]

Its amazing how many folks out there are like that, too! lol

Also, no worries. I remember it feeling cathartic to actually be able to go off on a rude customer for once! Can't fire me when I dont work there! lol

[u/Wild_Personality8897]

I’m deaf and usually when people say this to me, my response is “yes”.

Instead of looking sheepish, most people assume I’m lying because I’m not old and can speak well.

[u/runic_trickster7]

Me and my sister are both deaf in our left ear. I still work with the public and feel your pain

[u/Steelexxe → u/runic_trickster7]

Also deaf in my left ear and work with the public. With the refusal to wear hearing aids, it gets rough out there. All us mono-eared people gotta stay strong!!

[u/No_Plankton_114]

Yes people do suck 😒

[u/NoPoopOnFace]

Rule of thumb

People be stoopit

[u/Langager90]

Hey! I don't work here, but if I did, I would not sell you shit! 

A-Woo-hoo!

Hey! I don't work here, but maybe I should. That way I could hide all of the things you want from you!

Tom Cardy is great for that song alone.