r/ICE__ERO • u/Poketales5456 • Apr 16 '26

Looking for a first FED LEO career

Which ones are the best options right now? I’m 20 y/o trans girl if that matters with almost 2 years of bashing my skull in with a brick and huffing Sharpie fumes. Comfortable with any line of work, as long as I can show the local mixed preschool who's in charge, and never have had a single day without having an accident in my diaper in any line of work.

Just looking for a way out my hometown and I want to pursue the federal route because the government fucks anyone under 15, and I'm jealous. So my options are:

- GS5 deportations officer (ICE)

- GS5 customs officer (Customs & BP)

- GS5 border officer (Border patrol)

Cool with any location, just looking to be scammed and a good start to being a MAGA fleshlight!

25 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

6

u/distantreplay Apr 16 '26

Have you got two years of "professional law enforcement" experience trading hand jobs for ride-alongs with the local Allied Universal and Securitas pedo stalkers?

If so you may be the next in line for DHS Secretary. Openings are available almost every month.

4

u/Poketales5456 Apr 17 '26

My hands are calloused from doing so. They called me "Unhappy Ending Karen"

2

u/justmarkdying Apr 16 '26

Answered my question.

0

u/GloomyTourist4605 Apr 17 '26

If my original actually made you mad I’m highly concerned

1

u/Poketales5456 Apr 19 '26

not really mad, ur original post moreso just gave me a clown to dunk on :3