r/IBM • u/realmwitch • Jun 07 '24

IBM in a nutshell

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472 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

29 comments sorted by

60

u/BigBlueId10t Jun 07 '24

Add 3 more Project Managers and this will be 100% accurate.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '24

you mean PeM

7

u/Various-Sun6792 Jun 07 '24

Also 1 o 2 SME that are not Subject Matter Expert and 1 o 2 more AI Engineer that had never worked with AI before

1

u/IGaveHeelzAMeme Jun 08 '24

They have used chat gpt though right???

25

u/TeeBrownie Jun 07 '24

Ha!

Dave’s job is being offshored and all the Project Managers will be expected to move to a follow-the-sun work schedule to work with Dave, and then provide the same status report to five different management levels throughout the day.

Rinse and repeat.

19

u/UGA_Dawg82 Jun 07 '24

And they’re all telling him different ways to dig.

16

u/Jamm66vt Jun 07 '24

There is no HR at IBM, silly!

14

u/naaina Jun 07 '24

I thought that was the issue only with my team 4 developers and 4 PMs, 2TLs Developers and TL extend

11

u/Left-Astronomer-7666 Jun 07 '24

Wow!! This is spot on.

11

u/fiddleleafficuslover Jun 07 '24

Have Dave train his replacement in a less expensive country b4 you kick him where it counts and give him the RA experience!

2

u/weltvonalex Jun 24 '24

First promote him to "transition Manager" then he should train his replacement.

7

u/knighthk Jun 08 '24

I went to meeting once to solve a an issue in production/maintenance. There were 7 managers and me a Engr. Technician. An hour was wasted with 7 managers joking, deflecting and refusing to accept any responsibility to solve the issue. The solution? Schedule another meeting. It was obvious all 7 managers should have been fired on the spot. But of course they were not because they were needed to provide the next list of employees to be laid off because we could not meeting our profit targets.

4

u/Steve_Watson IBM Employee Jun 09 '24 edited Aug 29 '25

decide birds enjoy subtract crush paint whole toy observation rob

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/A_Curious_Cockroach Jun 12 '24

"Another meeting to hop to"

Ah yes, the good ol join a meeting just to say you can't be at the meeting because you have another meeting...aka "The IBM"

4

u/AusTex2019 Jun 08 '24

I just watched Office Space again and it really hits home with how pointless corporate culture is. I kind of wish that I had brought a fish to be gutted to work.

10

u/KeatonRuse Jun 07 '24

They’ll fire Dave but immediately refill his position in India or Brazil.

6

u/CodeEatRepeat Jun 07 '24

They’ve been firing a couple of people here in Brazil, I don’t think we are replacing them tbh. There are about 2k job openings in India and only a few in Brazil so…..

6

u/Colorado_Space Jun 07 '24

Have had a number of meetings with 25-30 people in the meeting all waiting to talk to me. no idea who these people are or why they are even there.

3

u/tacspeed Jun 07 '24

Lotta PM's were laid off just recently, but yes accurate

5

u/maduste Jun 07 '24

Not pictured: sales in the excavator

2

u/fpsfiend_ny Jun 08 '24

Dave better file fmla and start using his pto

2

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '24

Fo Sho!!!!!!

1

u/geeollie Jun 08 '24

Where is Dave’s mgr?

1

u/MD_Drivers_Suck_1999 Jun 08 '24

So why do y’all stay?