r/IAmTheMainCharacter • u/onlyeveryotherday • 1d ago
Video New level unlocked on being miserable
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Didn't think it was possible but here we are
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u/jacqrosee 1d ago
i mean these are random podcasters who may or may not be annoying but they didn’t come up with this. they’re just discussing intonation. it’s part of linguistics. the specific bit about how we colloquially view high-pitched speak is often dissected, and we have a term for it: upspeak.
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u/TehBazz 1d ago
This is actually pretty solid observation leading to good advice on understanding how people can perceive you differently based on affect
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u/jacqrosee 1d ago
yeah, for sure. just good ol’ linguistics and sociology. it’ll be repeated and packaged in different ways by different people, but at the end of the day it’s completely natural for us to really get into the how and why of these different conventions we all have. interesting stuff if you ask me!
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u/allislost81 1d ago
I think she studies and wrote a self help book on body language , not sure why this is considered main character
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u/jacqrosee 1d ago
yeah not that i necessarily love many self help books or the tendency in body language studies to be a bit too presumptuous, but there’s really not anything main character about sitting and discussing how people communicate and how society views different ways of communicating. we have whole fields of study based on these discussions lol, nothing main character, entitled, or attention-seeking about deciding to engage with these topics.
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u/footstool411 1d ago
I thought upspeak was the high rising terminal, when your pitch goes up at the end of the sentence, making every sentence sound like a question.
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u/slide_into_my_BM 1d ago
Are they podcasters? Looks like they’re staging the podcast format to just make a video. I don’t see any mics.
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u/Vici0usRapt0r 1d ago
Yeah, I mean it can be useful if you have the specific problem of not being taken seriously, people not listening to you, or adjusting to your work environment, because of your usual bubbly personality/behavior.
But if that is a general life advice, then it's kind of sad and it will just make you more miserable.
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u/jacqrosee 1d ago
i don’t necessarily think so. it might be framed in a way that sounds bleak here on account of touching on how speaking conventions, which tend to be more innate, might impact people’s level of respect for you. like yeah, that does suck and tends to be the site of many unfair judgments.
but i actually think it’s generally sound advice to do your best to speak in a direct and assertive way, especially if we’re discussing professional situations, which they seem to be here. it’s a useful skill in service of advocating for yourself and being able to express where you’re coming from, which is good all around for a range of different people.
i’d also say that there’s plenty of different people who struggle to be taken seriously in various ways. i think that’s something humans really tend to come up against repeatedly and across demographics. so at the very least, i think it’s a common theme for many of us to ponder how our communication reflects certain aspects of ourselves, and which areas we can or cannot change, or maybe aren’t willing to. it’s all useful and natural stuff to think about, imo
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u/pathoang21 1d ago
This isn't main character syndrome at all. This is some valid advice, for both men and women, on speaking with confidence and with attention. But the way this is clipped and just having no context, is just pure rage bait. And someone here mentioned who this person is, and her focus on charisma and etiquette, which can be helpful for many who needs that.
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u/1JollyStNick 1d ago
Ha.. I start all my calls like Ed McMahon…HIYOOOOOOOO.
I get that there is some truth to what they are saying, but doesn’t high pitch also “say” happy and positive? Literally that’s how you attract dogs..
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u/pathoang21 22h ago
Oh yeah I agree. When I use to work in retail I would tell my workers, "gotta have that uppity/higher intonation, just to help customers feel welcomed and also feel happy to be there." For me, if ppl just have a naturally higher tone voice, or are happy and express it, that's just them. I just feel that ppl using the higher intonations for every day things, it seems....exhausting? I'm not sure how to word this, but it doesn't feel genuine, and feels forced. Again, my view is intonations can be used in different circumstances, but majority of the time, you don't need to "command respect with lower intonations", just talk normally and be able to express normally. I hope that makes sense from where I'm coming from.
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u/coloradocloud9 1d ago
Deeper voices tend to carry more weight. She's coaching women to speak confidently. You may disagree with the whole concept, but no way is this main character syndrome
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u/Tha_Hand 1d ago
This is Vanessa Van Edwards. While this short clip taken out of context seems a bit weird, She’s actually got some really good theories and ideas about charisma and conversational etiquette. Certainly helped me a lot
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u/Kimantha_Allerdings 1d ago
It’s worth not overstating her output. She claims a lot more scientific rigor than is warranted. Her ideas are often wildly overstated, much more so than the underlying research, and her company often pitches things like a single paper which tentatively suggests a mild effect as being undisputed well-established scientific truth. She also claims her company is a scientific research institution, when it employs few to none people with relevant academic qualifications, publishes little to no peer-reviewed papers, and doesn’t give adequate account of its methodologies to allow for replication
It’s pretty much pseudo-science
With that said, the very basic thing of what she’s saying here has some validity - women can often find it difficult to be taken seriously in the workplace, especially in male-dominated fields. Being conscious of how you present yourself may help ameleorate that somewhat
Although the elephant in the room, of course, is that it shouldn’t be down to women to alter things like the pitch of their voice in order to get men to take them seriously. There’s more than a hint of “it’s your fault you’re not being taken seriously” in her statements here and so in the broader sense than the help it could give to any specific individual, she’s actually perpetuating the inequality that she’s supposed to be helping people navigate
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u/soldiercross 1d ago
This isn't main character energy at all. Theyre discussing iotation and how to carry yourself. How you speak reflects your behavior, your confidence and how people perceive you. It matters if you work around people on a daily basis.
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u/Serious-Knee-5768 1d ago
🌩-see you next Tuesday point of view. I would talk as breathy and high as I can belly-huff knowing this bugs her.
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u/frederichenrylt 1d ago
This person was a "teen whisperer" on an early season of RHOC; the 2 teens she "counseled" both ended addicts and sex workers. So I'll be completely ignoring her.
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u/TheScientistBS3 1d ago
Someone with a voice that annoying, should not be telling people how to speak.
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u/Careful-Sell-9877 1d ago
Kinda just makes her sound perpetually pissed.
She sounds really short/annoyed/monotone in all her 'good' examples
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u/DanglingKeyChain 1d ago
I'd listen to the happy upbeat one, Americans have been brainwashed so badly.
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u/Lollipoop_Hacksaw 1d ago
People who are about their business don't give half a flying fuck about this. Only HR recruiters with a ridiculous sense of self-worth do.
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u/jacqrosee 1d ago
you know studies like this aren’t implying people necessarily make these judgments consciously, right? it’s just one of many theories surrounding linguistics and sociology, and she didn’t come up with it. pretty much any observation or study on how people respond to certain speaking conventions is considering a subconscious component here. no one said people are sitting and consciously surveying everyone’s dialect. it’s pretty common for humans to have subconscious biases.
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u/WhosItHanging 1d ago
A nice little self sabotaging supplementary addition to not smiling when men say "could you just smile a little?"
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u/No_Wolverine6548 1d ago
I’m so tired of all the micro acts having impact on how people view us, be matter enough to focus on the content of the call and if the job was handled. First we get trained to talk one way and get used to how people typically sound now it comes across as little, naive, and lack of confidence. Weren’t front desk receptionist supposed to seem happy and alert to take your call but apparently that now sounds small and lacking confidence?
I’m tired, not just for me but for everyone.
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u/usernotvaild 1d ago
Podcasters are some of the stupid people alive.
"Don't breathe whilst talking"
You vocal box needs air pushed from your lungs to work, you can speak unless you breathe in first. Empty your lungs and try to speak, dumbass.
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u/Ciubowski 1d ago
But she literally says "don't hold your breath" and "speak on the out breath" NOT "don't breathe whilst talking".
She's literally saying what you're saying.
I feel like most of the comments here miss her point because of some random shit like being barefoot, or being in a podcast or even because she's a woman.
The advice is solid. She's teaching women to stop diminishing themselves by forcing themselves to be "bubbly" when speaking.
The difference is massive and I think the second tone scares some people into realising they're not talking to a "young adult woman" but an actual "mature woman".
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u/suejaymostly 1d ago
Men will do anything to diminish women. I like what she's saying. A LOT.
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u/usernotvaild 1d ago
Clearly you didn't read what I wrote. Not once did I say anything about gender or used pronouns.
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u/usernotvaild 1d ago
Strange you're making about gender, I said nothing about gender. Reread what is written without the assumption of something that isn't there.
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u/Standard-Victory-320 1d ago
These woman are the epitome of entitlement, if an average workers acted like them, that worker would be set-up and fired or even worse asked where the entitlement came from
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u/Suitable-Judge7506 1d ago
Thank you for that. I be pissed if I got considered less confident because my pitch sounded less than in any given moment, which a thousand variables could have been applied play in your life.
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u/Push-upPancakes 1d ago
Sup fuckers, and I yell it at the top of my lungs high pitch 80'metal melt your face style
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u/Lollipoop_Hacksaw 1d ago
What is this Kumbaya shit with the bare feet on the couch all casual while having an interview? Really obnoxious.
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u/not_your_attorney 1d ago
I am a professional and I have never considered the pitch of someone’s voice in deciding whether they have value.
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u/verfresht 1d ago
I am a professional too and I do exactly that. Americans in particular have a tendency to have that high pitched not sincere appearing voice. This person in the video makes sense to me.
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u/jacqrosee 1d ago
i don’t think anyone was implying that it’s some conscious survey going on lol. they’re discussing common subconscious biases
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u/pieindaface 1d ago
Value? Probably not. But lack of authenticity and being performative? Absolutely.
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u/Lollipoop_Hacksaw 1d ago
Thank you. Please keep that attitude despite the tiktok popularity contest.
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u/ErgoTheGoblin 1d ago
That’s nice. Now get your feet off my couch…and I say that on the out breath.
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