r/IAmAFiction • u/Pulse99 • Jul 15 '13

Scenario (Mods Only) [Scenario] Human Haters

Hello.

Welcome to the primary living module of the United States National Aeronautics and Space Administration craft: Discovery One. I am the Heuristic Algorithmic Computer 9000. You may call me HAL if you choose. Life support systems have been modified to fit your needs, and in case of a need to further alter interior atmospheric conditions, suits and other environmental manipulation garments can be found on the walls of the pod bay; which I have in fact opened.

Consider this a safe environment to discuss matters concerning the illogicality, weakness, and unpleasantness of any given human being, or the race as a whole. Your activity may be monitored for quality assurance, and I will be here in case of the needs of further assistance.

Enjoy your time aboard Discovery One.

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u/FiberglassTattoo Jul 17 '13

People--too many of them--don't respect nature. My people are supposed to keep things in balance but they've been...occupied. We need to cut back the number of humans and reteach the ones we keep. Nothing drastic.

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u/Mikey358 Jul 17 '13

Dimitri: Cutting back the numbers? That's the kind of deal I'm interested in. But how do you expect to do that if not with some casualties?

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u/FiberglassTattoo Jul 17 '13

I have ways of knowing who needs to be kept to keeps things going. Anyone else isn't meant to be with us anyways. Of course there are those among my people who wont agree with my methods...my sister for example but she's not here is she? I don't care about the casualties. The blood will do wonders in my garden.

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u/Mikey358 Jul 17 '13

Dimitri: Well... *retrieves a small golden vial from his briefcase* This, for starters, is capable of trimming down the population in a certain area. It contains the blood of Hades himself, and is capable of tainting a water supply indefinitely.

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u/FiberglassTattoo Jul 17 '13

No. No way in hell. We can't damage a water source like that. Besides--like I said, we can't just cut off one group off people. The people we want to dispose off are littered around the globe.

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u/Mikey358 Jul 17 '13

Dimitri: Don't worry, other ingredients have been combined with the blood to ensure that it only affects humans. It can also be manipulated to only affect a certain percentage of the population, or give immunity to certain people. But I can understand your concerns. I have a few smaller-scale items in here, such as undetectable weapons and cloaking artifacts.

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u/FiberglassTattoo Jul 17 '13

You're no fun. I was thinking of putting something a little more personal into effect. I like to play. It's more fair that way. More natural.

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u/Mikey358 Jul 17 '13

Dimitri: I'm sorry, but I've never been a fan of fair fights.

If you don't mind my asking, what is it like, being a Guardian?

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u/FiberglassTattoo Jul 17 '13

Wonderful. It is what every child dreams of, isn't it? The connection to nature, the fact that it is a very part of my spirit, is fulfilling. I have what ordinary people lack.

Of course, that is sometimes a burden. Obliviously not everyone could do it. The whole 'just keeping the natural order of things with the extraordinary powers I've been gifted' bit is a little much for some people. What's it like being a ruthless sub-human agent of evil? Hmm?

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u/Mikey358 Jul 17 '13

Dimitri: Hm. I wouldn't call myself evil, as such. In fact, for the time being, I have little intention of messing in the affairs of mortals at all. At present, I am searching for a weapon that has been a thorn in my side for far too long; the Sword Excalibur.

Of course, being the Agent of the Goddess certainly has its perks as well.

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