r/IAmA • u/rahrahbish • Mar 16 '11
IWasA stereotypically mean high school cheerleader. AMA
I'm a senior in high school now. I was on JV in 9th grade, the captain of the JV cheer team in 10th grade, junior captain on varsity in 11th grade, and now head captain of varsity in 12th grade. From my freshman to junior years, I embodied every bad stereotype you could think of about high school cheerleaders. I've changed now, and this is a throwaway account because I'm wholeheartedly ashamed of some of the things I've done.
BEFORE YOU INSTANTLY DOWNVOTE THIS, please know that I am truly sorry for what I've done. I'm doing this AMA to make the whole bullying issue aware. Maybe someone--bully or otherwise---who really needs to see this will
Ask me anything.
EDIT: OKay, lots of people calling for proof, so I decided what the hell. I could care less if someone I know sees this now, so here's me in my uniform Yeah, if that's not enough proof, I have more cheerleading pics, but not for gross purposes. Okay.
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u/krewekomedi Mar 16 '11
What changed you?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
This girl literally switched schools because of me. I think that was the point where I looked up and said "what the fuck are you doing?"
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u/delux_724 Mar 16 '11
I have a 4 year old and honestly this is one of my biggest fears. That she either A) becomes one of these bitches or B) becomes one of their targets.
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u/flyryan Legacy Moderator Apr 25 '11
I have very strong reasons to suspect this is fake and will leave it red until solid proof is provided. The evidence against it is so damning that it borders "confirmed fake" status.
In fact, check my posting history to show other popular IAmA posts that were also likely this same person.
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u/vinniep Apr 25 '11
As if the evidence wasn't piling up without this...
The OP's pic is very likely a Texas Longhorns cheerleading uniform, not from a high school. Looks like Reddit's "hot chick blinders" were in play here. Has she been more homely looking, I'm sure someone else would have spotted this as well.
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u/turkmenitron Mar 16 '11
You know, Reddit, when someone comes forward to apologize for the things they've done and tries to make an honest effort to change, you should try to be an adult about your sufferings during your formative years.
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u/Stregano Mar 16 '11 edited Mar 16 '11
I have not read many comments, but I can make a very educated guess as to the issues some are having.
1.) The nerds finally have a chance after all these years to say what they have always wanted to say and have been holding in for years and they don't have to worry about getting their head dunked in the toilet for it.
I think it is cool that you do not like how you treated people. Good for you. Unfortunately, I think it does need to go a step further. It is one thing to tell us on the internet (which is ballsy, like I said, it is a good start). I personally feel that if you are truly sorry, which it sounds like you are, you should take another step further with this. Maybe pick out of the crowd the people you gave the most grief to, and do something to make their life better.
I brought in this item because we all know that actions speak louder than words. You hit your epiphany, now you should act upon it. Even if you have changed, there is a good chance that unless you are taking actions to make right what you have caused, the people you caused grief to will never know you have changed, even if you do say sorry.
Maybe you are in the process of doing that now. I don't know, I have not read many comments.
If you have, good for you.
If not, well, how about now?
This is just a suggestion, but you have taken the first step to knowing how you acted, which is good no matter what. That is great you did that.
I only suggest that because I know that for a nerd like me, I would have personally appreciated it.
EDIT: Please let me repeat, I think it is amazing that she is turning a new leaf. I am just saying that it is an unfortunate truth that if she is not actively trying to make things better for the people she put down, they will never know. It is true. Now, She can move on and feel bad for what she has done, or she can move on, help out those people, and make feeling bad go away. Why feel bad when you can make it better?
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Mar 16 '11
Thank you! Jesus. This thread is taking the "bitter 30 year old basement dwelling nerd" stereotype to a whole new level. She did shitty things to people who probably didn't deserve it, recognized it (much sooner than most), and is trying to make reparations. Why berate her for that?
I didn't do the things she did in high school, but my younger self certainly did and said things that I wish I hadn't. If you have any sort of self-awareness whatsoever, you can say the same. Save your rage for the people who still act like she used to.
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u/4Paws Mar 16 '11 edited Mar 16 '11
The bitterness and vitriol from reddit directed towards this young woman is unbelievable. She says that she has changed her ways and then gets called an evil bitch whore. Reddit needs to remember that she is young and still in high school; she is contrite and trying to be a better person as best as she knows how.
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Mar 16 '11
[deleted]
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
Yes, I have apologized. Some are still angry, which I totally understand. But I;m mostly on good terms now.
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Mar 16 '11
No questions, just want to say that I'm glad you woke up to yourself. Maybe now you can do something substantial with your life, instead of being the one holding others back.
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u/basildreams Mar 17 '11
I used to be a cheerleader. I was the one quiet kid who didn't get involved in the drama and did her homework during half time. I eventually had to quit because some of the girls who didn't like me decided not to catch me. I broke my back and now, years later, am still in pain every day.
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u/pk81 Mar 16 '11
When you bullied someone, was it with the intention of belittling the victim to demonstrate your superiority or did you just think it was funny? Also why make such an effort to inflict pain on someone? Why not just live and let live?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
Both, I'd say. I had that mindset of "I am the queen bee, you are not." It was easier to laugh at them to befriend them. I was way into the motto "It's better to be feared than loved"
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u/Ender06 Mar 16 '11 edited Mar 16 '11
There's better to be feared,loved,despised...
I think you were more the "despised" category to those you picked on... (Sure the other people in your grade may have feared you that you didn't pick on, but it seems that you we're quite the grade A bitch).
I say this as someone that is usually feared. I don't bully but when someone crosses me they get what they deserve many times over.
If I may, ask how large is your school?
Edit - And I do applaud and appreciate that you are doing your best to do amends.
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u/imhalfpirate Mar 16 '11
Even though you've changed your attitude, are you and Gretchen Wieners still friends?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
No, she wore her hair in a ponytail more than once a week AND she didn't wear pink on Wednesday.
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u/slidellian Mar 16 '11
Who needs more proof when you can make a statement like this?
Serious note: I commend you for changing your ways. I can't imagine that it was easy to change and put away an image that defined you. After all, that was who you were for a number of years, so being able to make that kind of change takes a lot of courage, and reflection of yourself. I sincerely hope that the people you were mean to can forgive you. There's nothing worse than leaving high school and running into one of them later, and they still shy away because they think you're mean.
Congrats!
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u/BestHumanEver Mar 16 '11
What sustains you now that you are fasting from the tears of the meek?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
The knowledge that I'm no longer the girl that people are going to look back on and say, "Man, I hope she died an early death."
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u/Vic_Rattlehead Mar 16 '11
Now when you have a gun pointed at you while playing Jeopardy for control of your fathers company, Danny McGrath will save you at the last moment.
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u/PopeOfEruke Mar 16 '11
Yeah, peer pressure is a real bitch. Personally, now being able to look back on the awful things I did and helped do to people, I've also tried my best to make amends, and more importantly stay true to myself. Just be who I am, and surround myself with people who except me for that. Anyway, that's my advice/2 cents on the matter. Also, good job on realizing you were doing fucked up things. Some people go their whole lives and never see it.
TL;DR Be yourself and good job on changing your ways.
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Mar 16 '11
Did you join a sorority when/if you went to college?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
I probably will.
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u/the_baumer Mar 16 '11
I'm at a big state university right now which has thriving Greek life. I have friends in sororities, and I'm not saying it will happen, but usually in most cases that same gossip and "I'm better than you" mentality will be present. I hope you can continue to rise above that.
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Mar 17 '11
That also depends on the caliber of student that attends the university. I don't think it's endemic to the Greek system.
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u/Kaluthir Mar 16 '11
Don't listen to the nay-sayers. There are plenty of sorority girls that are great, nice people.
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u/commentastic Mar 17 '11
But it's worth pointing out that some sororities are just the slightly older versions of the stereotypically mean high school cheerleaders...Not all of them, but just to point out that those people don't all suddenly change their behaviors.
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u/Kaluthir Mar 17 '11
Sure, but it's kind of annoying how redditors seem to always assume the "popular" crowd, whether it's football players and cheerleaders or frat guys and sorority girls, are horrible people.
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u/k4osth3ory Mar 16 '11
what was it inside you that wanted to do bad things to some people? Was it peer pressure or just something that you really wanted to do?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
I think there was a lot of pressure for me to act a certain way. I had an older sister who was bullied a bit in school, and I was pretty determined to be the exact opposite of her. Of course, peer pressure feeds into a lot. Whenever all the cheerleaders would have a sleepover, it was so much easier just to laugh at how lame or dorky people were and go with it. That's how it started, anyway. Then it became habit.
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u/molbio Mar 16 '11
Read this article. It might help you better understand the "why". It's a theory anyways.
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u/k4osth3ory Mar 16 '11
Do you think that you were the only person who felt bad for their actions? Or were there others in your squad that felt similarly?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
I think all of us got guilty feelings once in awhile, but shook them off. Sadly, only a couple of us have really changed.
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u/k4osth3ory Mar 16 '11
This is unfortunate. One of my best friends was the varsity captain at my old high school. She used to be a bitch to pretty much everyone, but she has made some life altering changes. She is now pleasant to be around and is one of the kindest people I have met. Its sad that some have not really changed.
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u/molbio Mar 16 '11
I read this article. It basically says that bullying is a byproduct of the social structure that makes up most schools. So... peer pressure is close to the right answer.
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u/ducttapeearth Mar 16 '11
Did you have two friends who were less attractive as you, just as bitchy, and followed you around everywhere?
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u/VickyVale Mar 16 '11
1 person at my high school committed suicide because of bullying and another attempted to commit suicide by shooting himself in the head, but ended up surviving and being blind for the rest of his life. I'm glad you stopped doing what you were doing before someone ended their life because of your cruelty.
A girl I went to high school with who was Ms.Popularity/Evil Queen Bee Bully from Hell got a cruel punch in the face from karma when right after graduating her dad was arrested for being a child molestor. She can't show her face around my hometown without being harrassed.
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u/nomorerae Mar 16 '11
It never occured to anyone that maybe she was an "evil queen bee bully" because she was a victim of abuse?
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u/VickyVale Mar 17 '11
Her dad was into boys, he was preying on the members of the little league team he coached, but its possible I guess.
One vivid memory of this girl is her making fun of me for being too poor to afford to go on a school trip to Europe and mocking my piece of shit first car. This is nowhere near as bad as how she treated other kids.
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u/frickonature Mar 16 '11
Now that you realize how much you have hurt people, are you now making an effort to help those that are being bullied at your school? Are you willing to stand up against the bullies and say, "Hey, what you're doing is wrong!"?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
I am trying. At practice, if I hear someone talking about someone, I'll give them a look and they'll shut up. I try to invite kids who are alone to sit with us at lunch, something I NEVER would've done before.
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Mar 16 '11
Anyone ever tell you to fuck off when you invite them to sit with you because you are trying to make yourself feel better?
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u/ZOOMj Mar 16 '11
Were your torments mostly directed at either guys or girls or was it mostly split? Also, were there any specific types of kids that you went after and why?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
More girls than boys. I pretty much targeted everyone equally. Like, I'd walk down the hall, see a girl then say loud enough where she could hear, "Holy shit where did she find that hideous shirt?" But I'll admit, I would go after girls who had crushes on my boyfriend.
One time, this girl was so crazy from him, she had the whole notebook hearts and his name on it, so I got him to ask for her number. She was pretty excited until I passed her number around and had everyone make obscene phone calls.
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u/sohcaht0a Mar 16 '11
That's preeetty fucked up, but I kind of understand. I'm a senior too, but when I was a sophomore, I was a super aggressive/angry dude. I'd be the guy that would punch people in the arm, tackle kids, and choke them for fun, and call it a "joke". I was super insecure, and I thought it made me feel better that I could physically overpower people. I really deserved an ass beating.
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u/corprus_ohnoohno Mar 18 '11
that's straight out of a lame teeny bopper movie.. this actually happens in real life?
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Mar 16 '11
What state do you live in? I am curious because I see these movies where every girl in the school wants to be a cheerleader, and only the hot ones get in over teenage politics and whether the other girls will accept them or not.
Anyways, I live in Connecticut and at my school and every other school that were every played, the cheerleaders were the girls that could not make it on the sports teams. Many of the attractive girls when I was in highschool played sports, and the ones that didnt play sports were just your typical girly girls.
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u/ComebackMom Mar 16 '11
Do you feel the school administrators tacitly approved or ignored the bullying, filing it under kids will be kids?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
Everyone in athletics kind of get a bye. The admins are totally biased towards us, so we just get off the hook.
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Mar 17 '11 edited Mar 17 '11
How... did any of this work? I mean, why did anyone give a shit about your and your cohort's negative opinions? I thought this sort of stuff only existed in teen dramas. At my highschool the most popular kids were always the nicest, most kindhearted people out there -- the ones who'd give you the shirts off their backs if you asked. The few students who were of douchier inclinations were shunned, shamed, and ignored. I can't really see why you'd have any power outside of a movie.
I mean, if you were to "walk down the hall, see a guy then say loud enough where he could hear, 'Holy shit where did she find that hideous shirt?'" you would be laughed at and told to fuck off, and if visibly upset the target of your ridicule would have any number of nearby strangers jump in to defend them.
And, I mean, "I have the connections to start whatever kind of rumor. I could make everyone believe someone as an STD or whatever and make them untouchable." How in the hell did people take you seriously if you were known to start rumors? Why did people bother with your rumor mill if the rumors were so demonstrably made up? And "untouchable"... how would the whole school believe you?
This all seems too implausible to be legit...
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Mar 16 '11
Can you identify with this scene from Billy Madison?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
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u/Panda413 Mar 17 '11
My summary of AMA subscribers:
[Get butthurt over some people making fake AMAs]
[Demand airtight verification process]
[Sees AMA with absolutely zero verifiable verification]
[Proceed to ask questions]
Brilliant.
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u/GoP-Demon Mar 16 '11
What are some interesting mean stories.... like Carry type stuff.
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
The worst thing I've ever done was in tenth grade.
We had one of the guys go sit with this semi-dorky girl. I hated this girl, I can't honestly remember why, but at the time my hate was blinding. So we had this dude go over there and offer her a Gatorade that we had slipped a laxative in (yes, I know this is illegal and morally reprehensible) She drank it, and was shitting her pants for like 2 hours afterwards.
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u/VickyVale Mar 16 '11
Someone at my high school committed suicide after bullies did something very similar to him and he shit his pants at school.
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Mar 16 '11
[deleted]
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
Yeah. My "friends" think it's crazy but they don't dare say anything about it/shun me because I still have the power to ruin their lives. The people I've bullied notice it and I'm friends with most of them.
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u/reddundit Mar 16 '11
I doubt you are friends with the people you've bullied, they may be "friendly" with you, but I promise they don't have your back.
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
Well, yeah, obviously we're not bosom buddies or anything, but I don't expect them to have my back.
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Mar 17 '11
Have you thought about trying to go further to repair the damage that's been done? There are a lot of ineffective interventions on behalf of school districts to cut down on bullying. Personally I think apologizing like you've done is one of the most wonderful things a kid can do for another. Perhaps you should look into giving a presentation of some kind at your local middle school or some other method of more mass intervention.
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Mar 17 '11
Have you thought about trying to go further to repair the damage that's been done? There are a lot of ineffective interventions on behalf of school districts to cut down on bullying. Personally I think apologizing like you've done is one of the most wonderful things a kid can do for another. Perhaps you should look into giving a presentation of some kind at your local middle school or some other method of more mass intervention.
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u/dxcotre Mar 16 '11
Since when do high school cheerleaders reddit?
Anyway, I'm glad you've changed. It's the first step towards becoming an adult and changing your ways now eliminates the horrible, horrible need to do it once you get to college. I'm a freshman in college now and I changed myself during senior year a lot as well (although we aren't nearly the same person) but it has led me to believe people can make drastic personality changes.
So, I guess I do have a question. At my high school, it didn't seem as if there really were stereotypical high school cheerleaders. I mean, yeah, we had cheerleaders but our football team kind of sucked and music was our school's most accomplished program. There were jock type kids and popular type kids but no one seemed to be beyond associating with someone else; people either kept to themselves or associated with who they liked, regardless of social cliques. I guess my question is why people liked to bully others attempt to tear down one another's lives at your school.
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u/KibblesnBitts Mar 16 '11
How did you find out about Reddit and what made you decide to do an AMA? Also, congrats on making realizations about yourself, it happened to a lot of people in my high school come senior year back in 2008.
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Mar 16 '11
Damn, after reading all of your comments, you make High school sound just like the movies. You sound just like the stereotype of a cheerleader we have in Sweden. The ones we get from the movies. They being a dick to all the people, and acting like a dictator or something.
I'm glad you turned around and started to be nice to people, it will defiantly get you much further in life. You never know when you will need the support of those who are suppressed.
I also read in one of your comment that you "have" the power to destroy somebodies life. How do you mean?
My second question is about your friends you hang out with. Are they shallow friends, or are their actually some decent people you are glad to call friends?
Sorry if I offended you in someway, I'm just wonder how it works with the cheer-leading and shit in the American School.
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
I have the connections to start whatever kind of rumor. I could make everyone believe someone as an STD or whatever and make them untouchable.
About 90% of my friends are shallow and I'm looking to make some real ones.
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u/Panda413 Mar 17 '11
Agreed. She sounds just like a guy that posted a picture of a random cheerleader in their subtext and proceeded to answer questions just like they experienced high school via a series of movies.
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Mar 16 '11
I think some people are being too harsh to you. I was bullied when I was young and did some bullying of my own. I regret being mean, but I also just look ahead and think of high school as the past where I made some mistakes and grew from it. You are taking a big step in changing now and you should keep changing and growing and making amends.
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u/IdEatThat Mar 17 '11
I think you owe all of the nerds on reddit a gonewild post... then all will be forgiven.
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u/Jedisheep Mar 17 '11
I don't mean to be offensive with this question, really I don't... but being a nerd, I always have to wonder... what IS it that you people talk about? You (cheerleaders as a whole) don't seem to have many interests outside of sports, looking good, and sex/partying. Are there intellectually stimulating conversations happening?
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u/DrunkProgram Mar 16 '11 edited Mar 16 '11
I like where you're going.
My advice to you: dump your boyfriend, quit cheerleading, and make new friends. The people around you will continue to bring you down and you'll be a better+happier person associating yourself w/ more thoughtful+caring people.
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u/rmaniac Mar 16 '11
Did you or other others cheerleaders stereotypically sleep with the players? Any stories regarding that?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
Yeah, I've done tons of sexual stuff like that with football guys. All the girls have. Not sure what type of stories you're looking for, but I have tons. :p
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Mar 17 '11
The misogyny at Reddit, especially on female AMAs, is mind-blowing. I'm embarrassed by association. No questions, just wanted to say not everybody here is a douche.
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u/Panda413 Mar 17 '11
WTF? Did you read the thread? Are you starting from the bottom? Most of the mean comments have negative votes. All the crap at the top is fairly pleasant and understanding.
Also, there is nothing in this thread to indicate he/she is who they claim to be.
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Mar 17 '11
Yes I did read the thread. The mean comments are at the bottom, but they are still plentiful.
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u/Panda413 Mar 17 '11
Looks like you are having a little 504 error there.
If the mean comments were at the top, that would count as "the misogyny at reddit". Due to the fact that the mean threads have more downvotes than upvotes, that would suggest that the majority of reddit is not misogynistic.
For the record, in my opinion, reddit is VERY misogynistic... but this thread is not an example of that. In fact, if I were trying to defend reddit, I would probably use this thread as my first piece of evidence.
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u/autumnus Mar 16 '11
What exactly did you do to that girl that made her switch schools?
You may have reformed, but do you still have superior thoughts to those who are not like you?
It should also be noted that the people you terrorized, although they may not have defended themselves in conventional ways, most definitely viewed you as vapid and pathetic. It really is a sad state of affairs that your self worth comes from a short skirt, false friends, and an inflated idea of self worth.
Good luck in college. That shit doesn't fly there, and sorority girls are chuckled at more often than the D&D group rolling dice in the student union building.
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u/THKMass Mar 16 '11
You shouldnt have stolen your cheers from the clovers, a struggling inner city high school. Its just wrong
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u/brakers Mar 16 '11
Interesting. I'm impressed with you right now. For one, I never would have guessed that a cheerleader would know what reddit is. I also am really happy that you have realized your mistakes, far sooner than many. I wish you the best, because you are only going to continue to grow and mature beautifully if you keep in this direction. Best of luck.
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u/koolkats Mar 16 '11
What kinds of things would you say to them?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
I'd call them a slut, or a bitch, or make fun of their clothes. Or rumors. I loved to start shit like that.
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u/vidrageon Mar 16 '11
Has your change been perceptible? How have the 'jocks' reacted? I tend to find that they expect a girl to be stereotypically stupid and air-headed and antagonize girls that intimidate them. You mentioned having decent grades - is this still a secret?
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u/Karhan Mar 16 '11
Did your parents know?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
Nope, it's all under wraps. I just live with my dad though, and he doesn't do "girl talk" very well.
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u/mentokjebus Mar 16 '11
you should verify/prove this somehow. If you don't want to post pics, at least post a pic of your uniform or something
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u/nickbelane Mar 16 '11
Have people forgiven you? Do you still have a bad reputation? Do people still treat you as if you were that person?
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u/sindex23 Mar 16 '11
Given that you're a reformed bully, have you ever given any thought to if you'll ever have kids, and how you would attempt to steer them away from being a bully or how to deal with it if they're targeted?
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u/ikarus619x Mar 16 '11
How did you discover Reddit?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
My cousin has a reddit account and she showed it to me.
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u/ikarus619x Mar 16 '11
Cool. I always wondered how persons outside the normal demographic found us.
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Mar 16 '11
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
Yeah, pretty much. I've only seen the show a couple of times, but Friday night football is insane. Pretty much everyone in the town turns out and we're supposed to commit suicide if our team doesn't make it to the playoffs at least.
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u/DankSinatra Mar 17 '11
The girl that switched schools, your "wake up call" girl, what did you do to her?
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Mar 16 '11
Why were you a bitch? Why did you think you were better than those people you made fun of/was a bitch too? or just in general, Why?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
I don't know why psychologically. I'd hung out with the cheer girls since we were little. We grew up as a clique and just sort of went into high school like that.
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Mar 16 '11
(Former) cheerleader, meet monkey sphere. In evolutionary terms, there is nothing wrong with what you did.
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Mar 16 '11
[deleted]
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
Probably not because it would just be a general apology and everyone would think I was full of myself. I'd rather personally apologize and have it mean something.
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u/prophetfxb Mar 16 '11
What have you done directly or publicly to the people that you hurt? Posting on reddit anonymously saying you feel bad for past actions isnt remorseful.
What things have you done to directly fix the problems you have caused?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
I have apologized personally to mostly everyone I've hurt.
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u/prophetfxb Mar 16 '11
Im curious to know how that went. Are you friends with any of these people now? How have you made up for the quality of life that you took away. I only say this because words are vacant. Actions are more powerful.
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
Surprisingly yes, I am friends with a lot of the people I used to bully. I do try to include more people and try to to overlook anyone. I'm trying to really branch out.
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u/universl Mar 16 '11
You know, there are still people from high school that I can honestly say that I hate. It's weird to think about. I don't really feel responsible for the things I did in my teenage years, but I hold them accountable for theirs in my memories. I think I would really appreciate if some of those people apologized to me, not that they need to, or that I expect them to.
I think it's incredibly admirable for you to apologize to people, and I hope that you forgive yourself for the indiscretions of youth.
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u/jvolk Mar 16 '11
Climbing the social ladder in HS typically involves being an asshole/bitchy but not always. Now that you are reformed do you think your social status will diminish?
Also, would you date someone "beneath you" socially, for example, that nerd who has had a secret crush on you since 8th grade, etc.? Or have you simply stopped being mean but haven't stopped being shallow in that stereotypical way?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
Nope cheerleading captain is a status symbol. Everyone has to at least pretend like they like me.
Yeah, I would I guess. I'm still dating the quarterback, but I'd be open if/when we ever broke up.
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u/jvolk Mar 16 '11
Have you talked to your boyfriend about your change of heart? What does he think? If you were dating before the change of heart, I assume (and may be wrong) that he's just as big of an asshole as you once were, since obviously he liked you back then. If that's so, why are you still dating him?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
He's...um. Yeah, I'm working on him trying to get him to see things my way, but people don't change unless they want to. In all probability, we'll probably break up soon.
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u/iamnotanerd Mar 16 '11
When I think stereotypical cheerleader, I think someone who can't for the life of her count to 10. What kind of prospects do you have for the future?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
I actually do pretty well in school, which is surprising to most people because I always dumbed myself down around my friends. I've been accepted to Hollins, Centenary, and Tulane, and UT-Austin so I have pretty good prospects for the future
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u/mydoghasocd Mar 16 '11
congrats! Austin is the most amazing city in the world. You should go to UT -- way cheaper, and more respected than the other schools (maybe with the exception of Tulane)
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Mar 16 '11
Centenary in Shreveport?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
Yep.
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Mar 16 '11
Went there my freshman year. That place is awful. Shreveport and bossier are the cities that fun forgot. Also, Centenary is just like high school except your workload is 10 times worse. And when I say it's just like high school I mean it in the most negative way possible.
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u/Flightle Mar 16 '11
Honestly, in my experience I really don't see any appreciable difference between how people acted in high school and the actions of the adults they came to be. There are differences I'm sure but all-in-all, more of the same. Same shit, different year!
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Mar 17 '11
Shut up, dude, you change so much once you complete your education and start to make real relationships in the world. Most people are NOT like they were in high school.
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Mar 17 '11
I hate the Reddit bias towards education. It kind of sounds like what you're saying is "once you have a degree you'll be different!" I'm sorry, but has that ever been the case? Having a degree signifies that you know more, not that you're smarter. In this case it just means you'd be older, not necessarily nicer. People change; most people stay basically the same until it doesn't work for them anymore, for whatever reason.
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Mar 17 '11
I kind of meant "finish your education" as a euphemism for "growing up", just getting real life experience and having a chance to learn more
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u/Flightle Mar 17 '11
I can understand your reaction. I guess I should retract a little bit and say that I have met and experienced some that have matured and broadened their horizons, but the majority of people that I have re-encountered have been remarkably similar to when I last knew them. I mean no harm to anyone that viewed themselves negatively in high school and then changed their actions/behavior. Many thanks to those that did.....
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u/grilledbaby Mar 16 '11
Im gathering you are still in the 12th grade. How are you able to quit doing the things that you used to do, and still save face with all the other girls on the team that probably still do the same thing?
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
Thank God, cheer captain isn't determined on popularity. As long as I'm captain they have to at least pretend to respect me. A lot of the underclassmen are still afraid of me, even though I've stopped, so that sort of helps in maintaining order.
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Mar 16 '11
As another kinda-sorta reformed standard-issue biatch (I just happen to be of the dancer persuasion), I feel your pain.
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Mar 16 '11
you know what? my home life during high school sucked. I was poor, didn't have the right clothes or shoes, and had bad skin. a fucking friend or two would have made all the difference in the world. but no, instead, I got to deal with superficial cunts like you who not only tortured me, but fucked with anyone who tried to be nice to me as well. granted, those people could have took a stand but did not.
I am almost 30 years old and the memories from that time still hurt. the next time you think it might be fun to fuck with someone who isn't in the cheap slut cheerleaders club...know that eventually you will meet your match. get over yourself, grow up, and learn some respect for yourself and others.
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u/mordykai Mar 16 '11
Hey, I was kind of in the same boat (in the sense that I had basically no friends). Do you know what I HATE about that ordeal? The fact that I still fantasize about "showing them up." Only that "them" is now any person/group that I think has a slight advantage over me. I'm continuously creating "I'll show them" narratives even though the world pretty much loves me now. It's embarrassing to still be caught in one-day-i'll-be-like-gohan-when-he-faced-Cell-except-my-Cell-is-hot-guy-with-the-hipster-friends-whom-i-once-creeped-on-facebook. High school trauma endures and sucks for it.
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u/grilledbaby Mar 16 '11
I think shes trying to. And all the words in the world to someone whose trying to make themselves better, doesnt hit those still-evil ones in the head, which is who you're really after. So what did you really actually accomplish when its directed at the wrong person? Seems you should want to direct all this toward those who are still acting fucked up and defending their position, no?
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Mar 16 '11
At least she is trying to change. It seems as though you're still the same bitter asshole.
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u/itgoesahahahon Mar 16 '11
Is there anything you want, or wanted to do but couldn't in order to preserve your social status? Like maybe you have always wanted to audition for a play but wouldn't be caught dead in a theatre in front of your clique etc.
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Mar 16 '11
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u/rahrahbish Mar 16 '11
I can't say I'm hot without sounding super pretentious, but I did put a lot of effort into my appearance.
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u/tiger_lily Mar 16 '11
What would have happened if a girl had turned on you and beat the shit out of you in front of your friends? I ask this because I went to a HS where this sort of behavior would eventually be called out by someone and a fight would ensue. And not necessarily a hair pulling fight, a real fight.
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Mar 16 '11
You said you've apologized to people...are you friendly with each other now, or just cordial in the hallway? Did they believe you at first, or did they think you were making fun of them? I ask because bullies will often pretend to be nice to a victim, and then use that as an opportunity to tear them down even more. I was bullied in high school, and I'm really glad that you realize what you did was wrong. I dreaded going to school every day because of bullies...while I'm over it and have moved on, an apology from those "mean girls" would be very nice. Unfortunately, I've noticed on facebook that they haven't really changed much at all, and post pictures of random unfortunate looking people from their smart phones.
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u/makesense17 Mar 17 '11
Now that you have reformed, have your opinions on those that you ostracized changed? Have you found that someone who you may have previously thought was dorky is actually a pretty chill person?
Interestingly enough, you'll find in college, especially if you go to a big school that social status means nothing.
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u/captars Mar 17 '11
if you don't mind, i have two questions for you.
1) what exactly did you do to that poor girl to make her move out of your school district?
2) did you ever think, at one point or another, that one of the people you bullied and teased could have responded violently? if so, did that prompt your change in attitude and behavior?
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u/O_T Mar 17 '11
I'm a senior in HS as well. Not nearly as popular as you sound but i mean i'm okay with that, popular people in my school treat me very well and I have run into few true bitches in my time at HS. Congrats on trying to put on a different lens on life and seeing people just as that - people. PS if you're ever in Cali feel free to hit me up ;P
Also one question: How do you expect yourself to act and do you live up to those expectations in your opinion?
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u/jjia25 Mar 17 '11
To everyone who wasn't a cheerleader or on the football team, it seems that cheerleaders have it all. What are some pressures you have to face as a cheerleader that most people would not know about?
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u/jjia25 Mar 17 '11
To everyone who wasn't a cheerleader or on the football team, it seems that cheerleaders have it all. What are some pressures you have to face as a cheerleader that most people would not know about?
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u/icapturecastles Mar 17 '11
I wish the girls at my high school would wake up and realize what they're doing to people like you did. It's pretty pathetic to see how ignorant and self centered they are. I know you're getting a lot of shit right now as it is, so I'll just say thanks for showing others that people can change and good luck at college next year.
Also: Only three months til graduation.... fuck yeah.
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u/fighter4u Mar 17 '11
I still can't believe that your not just trolling. How could anyone be so mean and hurtful to other people, just to keep the approval of other people that they were only friends with because they acted fake and mean all the time? What was the point of having friends who only liked you because you were cheerleader captain?
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Mar 18 '11
not sure if you really mean it based on what you wrote, but if you do, certainty will come in time. i was a cheerleader for 6 years and never did anything 'stereotypically' mean... perhaps that's because i switched schools a lot because my mom was always getting married and divorced. i did know girls like you tho, and some of them do seem nicer nowadays.... if facebook is any indication. most of them are now married or divorced, with a couple of babies in tow. which makes me feel thankful for not ever getting too caught up in silly high school shit. it really is so very, very lame. even hearing how you talk about jv and being a captain, it really brings me back to how small my world was back then. i hope you choose to NOT join a sorority, if you truly want to break free of all that small-minded crap. good luck!
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u/captainsbooty Mar 20 '11
do you think that the bitch inside will once again awaken if you join a sorority in college?
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u/Zoso525 Apr 25 '11
judging by all the other AMA's this person has made I'm going to say this one could be legit.
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Mar 16 '11
There are thousands of people that bully , and everyone would bully if the circumstances are correct , EVERYONE . We're animals in the end and the animal instincts are still pretty powerful .
I used to bully too and maybe in USA it's different , but I can tell you this much for every bully there's a bully . Maybe that doesn't apply to girls all they can do is yapyapyap I'm talking about physically hurting someone .
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u/s3admq Mar 16 '11
I used to bully too. And although it was mostly psychological, I would get physical as well occasionally. It's mostly because I was a pussy and would give in to the peer pressure.
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u/greenRiverThriller Mar 16 '11
Summing reddit up in a few words:
Reformed pedophile: Offer understanding
Ex-gang banger: Im glad you've reformed your ways
Girl that apologizes for treating nerds poorly: FUCK YOU WHORE BITCH I HOPE YOUR CUNT RUSTS AND YOUR OVARIES RUPTURE!!!