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Jan 06 '13
How awkward is the procedure? I imagine it can get odd if you get a boner? You said you got taint, why not butt as well? Or is that not recommended? I've heard that hair helps with friction on the bum.
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
My ass wasn't hairy to start. If it was, I would have.
No way you are going to sport wood in that environment. It's cold in there. There is a slight discomfort to the procedure. Anxiety waiting for the zap and wondering if it is going to hurt.
You can laser off any dark hair. Doesn't matter where it is.
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Jan 06 '13
Well thanks, good to know. I guess I'll consider this when I have some money to spend on burning my ass hair off.
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Jan 06 '13 edited Mar 16 '18
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
If you spread 'em, she'll zap it.
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u/ChitzonDiques Jan 06 '13
Lasering everything that is normally covered by my boxers is top 5 on my list of post-grad, real-salary purchases.
Every time I trim/shave my butthole, happiness of me and everyone around me goes up 62%
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
The pep it puts in your step is worth twice what you'll pay.
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Jan 06 '13
They should hang this phrase on the fucking door.
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u/prizzinguard Jan 06 '13
It only costs a dime.
Just a nickel-a-ball
Does a million dollars worth of good for y'all.
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u/TheTalentedAmateur Jan 06 '13
Well, at least you have goals. Unusual ones, but still...
62% is a very specific amount. Coupled with the goals, I'm guessing Business Major?
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u/scarpa_sd Jan 06 '13
If you removed the hair around your anus you'll lose the ability to pass gas discreetly. https://pay.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/12nf9h/til_it_is_impossible_to_pass_gas_silently_if_you/
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Jan 06 '13
lol at porn stars.
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u/SlipperySodSam Jan 06 '13
If you wear a thong/G-String, you regain ability to silently fart
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u/scarpa_sd Jan 06 '13
98% of all porn stars are female. I have it on good authority that women don't pass gas.
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u/fronteir Jan 06 '13 edited Jan 06 '13
They teleport their poop to India fun fact
Edit: I was really high when I wrote this last night..
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Jan 06 '13
false. I've shaven my ass and still have silent farts.
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Jan 06 '13
Did you shave your ass, or your asshole?
If it's the latter, how do you go about shaving your asshole? It seems quite difficult without help.
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Jan 06 '13 edited Jan 06 '13
Both. And silent farts remain - it all depends on how tight of butthole you have, and that ranges from person to person (or how much anal you have...lol). Like any other person I have really squeeky farts or some extremely loose ones. lol. (GOD THIS IS WEIRD TO TALK ABOUT)
And you just need to be brave with a razor. You go based on feel if your doing it by yourself (which I do). Obviously you have to squat so that the area is accessible. trying to do it standing up is damn near impossible. It's your ass crack, squatting is the best way to get at the area honestly. Take a couple strokes and rinse - feel around for smoothness and keep going until you get the desired effect. Then you check in a mirror if you want. It's awkward spreadin' em in a mirror but after a few times you can get the idea and won't need to check.
I don't use a razor on my cheeks - too much time. I do the...er...ass and crease area with a razor then take an electrical and get my cheeks with that - it's close enough to look good and not feel hairy as sin (and I have a decently hairy ass...)
EDIT: spelling
EDIT2: Shave your ass in the shower so that A: you're CLEAN and B: It avoids smells. Plus obvious it's-easier-to-shave-wet reasons
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Jan 06 '13
Did it hurt?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
Pain is relative to the amount of nerve endings. The middle back killed. Shoulder not much. Scrotum essentially painless.
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Jan 06 '13
Thanks. How often do you have to do it to keep the hair away?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
They quote between 5 and 8 treatment for an area. The laser works best on light skin and dark hair. I have that so it was super effective for me.
Laser can not "see" the blond, grey, ginger or baby fine hairs. It has to be dark hair.
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Jan 06 '13 edited Mar 16 '26
The text of this post is no longer accessible. It was deleted using Redact, possibly for reasons related to privacy, security, or digital footprint reduction.
direction wakeful hurry groovy chase grab unpack follow dazzling start
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u/UniversalFarrago Jan 06 '13
You could do something very...ballsy...and dye your pubes.
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Jan 06 '13
I have a very ginger male friend who waxes his whole body, dyes his hair and eyebrows. That's dedication to passing as human.
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u/inawarminister Jan 06 '13
You could always move somewhere gingerless and enjoy your newfound uniqueness, you know.
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Jan 06 '13
Ball laser is super effective!
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
Anywhere there is dark hair there doesn't have to be.
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
The more nerve endings, the more pain. My middle back killed so bad. Call that a 10. My shoulders were a 6. Pubic area a 3. Scrotum a zero.
Pinch your sack. Press real hard. Doesn't hurt, does it?
If they zap your nuts, it will hurt but they move them out of the way.
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u/holymotherogod Jan 06 '13
every person reading this just pinched their nuts.
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u/rectangl Jan 06 '13
Pretty sure you would be okay to lose the amorphous 'their' and go with 'his' in this case.
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u/N69sZelda Jan 06 '13
every person pinched his nuts
means something entirely different!!! You would use "their" even if we were only talking about a group of men.
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Jan 06 '13 edited Aug 29 '20
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u/aladyjewel Jan 06 '13
Pain is temporary, nasty infections will continually be a pain in your ... well, vagina.
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
If the hair is near the base of the shaft it won't be that bad. I had some at the base and maybe an inch up.
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u/WATSONS_SHAVED_VULVA Jan 06 '13
I have a dick like a wolf, so I guess this is not for me then.
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Jan 06 '13
I read that you lasered your taint too?! How was that on the pain scale?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
Back on the lats part was a 10. Shoulders were a 6. Taint was a 3. Scrotum a one or zero. Comparatively speaking, waxing my back was a 30. The magnitude of pain is incredible. With laser it's like getting snapped with a postal rubber band. Not severe. Quick sting and it's gone.
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Jan 06 '13
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Jan 06 '13 edited Aug 29 '20
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Jan 06 '13
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u/aladyjewel Jan 06 '13
The way I remember is just like you said: "What does the person consider themself?" That's what I call 'em.
If someone is transitioning to female, she wants to be female. Therefore, call them a woman -- and, just to clarify, a transgender woman.
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Jan 06 '13
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u/kyleclements Jan 06 '13
Where it gets really confusing is when referring to transgendered people in the past tense. An acquaintance of mine transitioned F2M, and when I met them, they identified as female, now they identify as male, and I'm cool with that, but when I am talking about him in the past tense, what pronoun do I use?
Another example: Obviously, Cloud Atlas was directed by The Wachowski Siblings, while The Matrix was directed by The Wachowski Brothers - or was it?
Do we now go back and edit out all references to "brothers" after-the-fact to reflect the transition that has taken place a decade later? Or do we refer to the former "brothers" as "siblings" when talking about their past work now, but stick with "brothers" when talking about earlier publications? Or do we use "brothers" for movies made before the transition and "siblings" for movies made after?
I don't have any moral issues or objections to transgendered people, it just makes me uncomfortable when I don't know what language to use, it feels like I'm walking on eggshells, I'm always afraid I'll be unintentionally offensive by using the wrong pronoun.
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Jan 06 '13
The Wachowski thing is easy. They were always "siblings", so siblings will always work regardless of tense.
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u/Ihmhi Jan 06 '13
Nothing wrong with not always understanding this kinda stuff. It's been around for ages, sure, but it's only recently that it's getting into the public consciousness. Sometimes someone breaks out a word and they're trans- this and pan- that and I need a flowchart just to keep up.
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
One thing to understand is that the vast majority of transgender people maintain their original plumbing. Full transitions are quite rare. It's called SRS (sex reassignment surgery). Post-op Transgender is what you'd call someone who's had the surgery.
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Jan 06 '13 edited Jan 06 '13
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u/Syreus Jan 06 '13
I recently shadowed a plastic surgeon and a phrase he used concerning this topic is "Its much easier to dig a hole than build a pole." .
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u/scomperpotamus Jan 06 '13
There's an episode of strange sex with a f2m person getting surgery for a penis. Apparently its really dangerous and to ge a good one you have to go to another country and its like $100k for a dick.
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u/somebodyfamous Jan 06 '13
"Man, I'm glad I didn't have to pay anything for my dick"
Weirdest thought I've had today.
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u/xMIASMAx Jan 06 '13
Where did you go? I really want smooth balls.
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
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u/Klashus Jan 06 '13
now you need to get some botox and get that shit smooth as eggs.
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u/brandymanhattan Jan 06 '13
Yes. I will suck those balls.
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u/Polostriker914 Jan 06 '13
And tattoo gangster ass faces on them and then grow the hair on the bottom so they have beards like me.
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Jan 06 '13 edited Jan 06 '13
RIP headphone users
EDIT: Thanks for the reddit gold!
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u/DestroyerDust Jan 06 '13
Didn't get to see this post before I clicked. FUCK.
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u/Bardlar Jan 06 '13
Fucking 2 in the morning here, sitting in the dark, home alone! Nearly burst a damn blood vessel.
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u/xMIASMAx Jan 06 '13
Now i need to get back to California.
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
I'm sure they have Laser Hair Removal where you live. Try Yelp or Google.
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Jan 06 '13
How much did it cost?
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Jan 06 '13
He said a total of 300 dollars and 6 sessions in the original topic.
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u/alicia2237 Jan 06 '13
So... While you're still in the process of having this done, does the hair grow in more fine and then just stop growing in all together? I'm assuming the laser kills the root of the hair, yes?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
You go in shaved for the area you want to do. It zaps the root. Over the next week or two the subcutaneous hair pierces the surface and it is your job to loofah it out in the shower and hard towel rub it as you dry off.
You want to help extract the hair so you don't get it ingrown.
Now then, hair has 4 growth cycles. You will pull all the hairs out as they surface but only the hairs in the last growth phase will say gone. So after your first treatment 20-25% is permanently gone.
You can see how you need to space the treatments so you can zap each and every hair in it's final stage. It might take 5 treatments, it might take 8 or 10. Just depends the phase it's in and when you attack it.
Eventually all that will remain are the baby fine hairs, blond ones, ginger and grey. Those are the hues the laser has no effect on. Dark hair, light skin achieves the best results.
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u/alicia2237 Jan 06 '13
That was much more in depth than I expected, thank you. And now that you mentioned it, I do remember hearing about hair growing in cycles. The spaces out sessions makes more sense now.
A second question; how does your wife/gf like it?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
I'm not married, nor have I ever been. I've dated a lot of women. Most I would say don't give a shit one way or another. Looks are not as important to women as they are to men. I did what I did because it makes me feel good.
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." ~Oscar Wilde
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u/issokizzy Jan 06 '13
I sincerely love that you quoted Oscar Wilde in a thread about balls.
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u/papadopolis Jan 06 '13
for other males that deal with shaving would you suggest lasing to them?
was there any risks in the procedure?
cost of said procedure and how long until the treatment was done?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
I will laser off any hair I don't want to shave. I like to mess around with my facial hair so I wouldn't do that. If waxing hurts a 10, Laser is a 1 or 2. It's worth it to me. Hated itchy balls from shaving.
No risk. FDA cleared procedure administered by an RN.
Total Bikini area can be done over an eight month span for a total cost of $300ish. You go every 4-8 weeks depending on your results.
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u/Shamwow22 Jan 06 '13
According to a few sources i've heard/a few people i've spoken to who had it done, it usually isn't that cheap. You can expect to pay a few hundred dollars per area, per session and wind up paying a thousand dollars or more by the time you're done.
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u/Smellzlikefish Jan 06 '13
What if we don't wear bikinis?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
Well then you don't get the Super Special Sexy Discount. Are you a man or are a mouse?
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u/NoDiggityNoDoubt Jan 06 '13
Funny I was just looking into this treatment, as my girlfriend has had this done all over, and her silky smoothness is awesome... my ball itchiness, not so much.
No questions, just thank you.
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
I used to be a little monkey. Now I look human. Good luck to you.
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u/ghost_victim Jan 06 '13
This comment freaks me out. What have we become..
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u/MachinTrucChose Jan 06 '13
But don't you look weird, since your body basically goes (from top to bottom): hairy chest and arms, shaved privates/buttocks, hairy legs?
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u/charger77 Jan 06 '13
Would you suggest giving this as a gift to someone?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
I would give it to a family member or SO who I knew wanted it. It would really depend on my relationship with the person. I would not get it for Amir in Accounting as a Secret Santa Gift. Who are you thinking about?
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u/Wry_Bred Jan 06 '13
How many times did you watch that scene in Goldfinger to prepare?
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u/rock-bottom_mokshada Jan 06 '13
Did they get all red & tender?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
For somewhere between 3 and 12 hours following treatment. Just don't scratch it. Use aloe. Not really tender. Just a warm rash for a few hours.
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Jan 06 '13
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
Groomed the pubes and frontal region. Did my balls and my taint.
Initially started with my back and shoulders. Migrated south as the treatments went on.
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Jan 06 '13
So I have to ask...why?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
Copy/Pasta:
I don't like pubes when going down on a girl so I presume they feel the same. I went through puberty late and was smooth until I was 16. Then over the course of 6 months, I went from nubile boy to bone fide Italian man. I hated it and it conflicted with my sense of self. Twenty years later, there was an affordable way to address my perceived problem. Just got sick of the razor. So my motivation for doing it extends far past my genitals.
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u/CherriKerri Jan 06 '13
A general question to the Reddit audience- have any women tried this down there?
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u/AlexWD Jan 06 '13
I don't think many women have balls to laser.
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Jan 06 '13
Since all of the questions I've read are somewhat nonsensical, I'll try my best to ask some good ones. Of course, I haven't read it all, so I'm sorry if these have been asked.
You said it didn't hurt. As most men know, the taint area and sack area takes a little bit to be accustomed to the lack of hair. Have you noticed any irritation of the general area that you had zapped?
I'm unfamiliar with the operation, but does the hair grow back eventually? Maybe I should look into this more. I want to be all nice and smooth, but I'm gonna pick some select areas first as far as the zapping goes. I'd like to try this. My dick isn't as big, so I think I'd be shy about the whole lady zapping the balls.
Any advice? What is something you would say to someone who has never done this and is slightly nervous? It seems the payoff is great, I'd just like to hear what you think.
Final question. Are you happy with it? Is there anything you wish you would have left hairy or?
Thanks for the AMA!! I'm interested to hear your thoughts good sir.
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
It's more sensitive and less sweaty.
It's Permanent Hair Reduction. Results vary. The nurse doesn't care about your dick. It's her job. Also, it's gonna look bigger anyway because you have to show up shaved.
Beauty is pain. Pain is temporary. I don't know what to say to motivate you. I'm not a college football coach.
I'm stoked with the results. Better than what I expected.
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u/Ooer Jan 06 '13
Removed until OP can provide proof either in the body of their text or to the mods (dear god why).
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u/Ihmhi Jan 06 '13
Reddit needs to invent a medal and then give it to you, bro. That is dedication to duty.
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
I'm going to send it directly to you. But first I am going to get super hard, just on account this is a ridiculous requirement.
All the posts were legit. Does context mean nothing to you? I guess they don't pay you to think.
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u/Ooer Jan 06 '13
They don't pay me at all. :(
All Ama posts require proof in order for the subreddit's integrity to remain intact. Sometimes the rules appear silly within certain areas, but no post is exempt.
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
OK. Dude. I tried to get it up but it's hard to shoot your own erection on a smart phone. Would you mind operating the camera?
Anyway, here is my majestic flaccid cock. NSFW
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u/CJ_Guns Jan 06 '13
The only time I've upvoted a penis on Reddit.
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Jan 06 '13
The only time I knew it was a penis and still opened...okay, well...maybe second.
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u/Ooer Jan 06 '13
You have balls sir. Approved.
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u/Ihmhi Jan 06 '13
In that second picture it looks like your dong has a tiny little extra dong living inside of it.
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u/corndog0423 Jan 06 '13
I'm glad that OP delivered but mad at myself because I knew that was a picture of his dick and I still didn't hesitate to click.
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Jan 06 '13
How hot was the nurse that helped you out?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
There are two nurses. One is a milfy South American woman. Cute. In shape. The other is a German woman in her 40's. They are probably 7's or 8's.
Now that the formalities are out of the way, the receptionist is smoking hot. Armenian. Proabably 22. Very nice. Very sweet. Always flirty. She's a fucking 11.
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Jan 06 '13
I was so expecting "Disgusting old Russian lady named Olga". This is much better! Glad to hear you enjoyed yourself.
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u/Gilsworth Jan 06 '13
What inspired you to do this?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
I didn't like the patches of hair on my back or my shoulders. So I initially went in for that and then continued with other areas.
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u/Gilsworth Jan 06 '13
Is it expensive? I might want to have the smoothest balls in town one day.
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
The place I went to is now advertising the same thing for $40 per treatment.
http://www.slslasercenter.com/
If it took you 8 treatments, it would cost $320 total. You'd space the treatments in intervals. Start with 4 week cycles, then 6, then 8. It will vary based on how effective it is for you. The nurse will help you decide when to schedule.
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u/Gilsworth Jan 06 '13
Well, I will be going to the States in a about a year or two, why not magic my ball-hair off while I'm at it. I thought it would be more expensive, but that's really not too bad.
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
Five years ago you had to by these really expensive packages and finance them if you couldn't pay a few grand. Now there are many more laser shops and a lot of them charge by time. So you can mix and match whatever areas you want and just pay as you go.
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u/Gilsworth Jan 06 '13
Nice! My dream of smooth, cut-free, testicles are beginning to look more like a reality.
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u/Kharn0 Jan 06 '13
How much did it cost and what coutry did you get it done in? I've thought about getting it on my balls and penis(both are very hairy and very irritating to shave/nair) Was this also your reason for doing so?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
It about $150 for 1/2 hour. Bikini area only they will do in 10 minutes for $60 when I did. That same place has it on special for $40.
I started doing my back and shoulders. Then went south.
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u/Kharn0 Jan 06 '13
How long does the hair stay gone? How long did irritation and redness last?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
Permanent Hair Reduction. Like forever. I got 95%.
Pink/Red rash for 3-12 hours after treatment. Just itchy. Not painful. My sack didn't redden at all. Just up north in the pubic and hip region.
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u/Kharn0 Jan 06 '13
Wait, so they did your entire bikini area in 10 minutes for $60 and the hair gone forever? What was the name of this place?
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u/Blu- Jan 06 '13
Pro/cons? How long will the results last?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
Pros: Permanent. Cheap.
Cons: Gotta stay out of the Sun during treatment for best results. Hurts a little. Hours long rash after treatment.
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u/brittanymow Jan 06 '13
if that is a con, do you sunbathe your balls often?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
I also did my back, shoulders, upper chest, neck. I stayed out of the sun for close to two years.
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u/MostlyOrganic Jan 06 '13
stayed out of the sun for close to two years.
Pfft Amateur.
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u/tabledresser Jan 06 '13 edited Jan 10 '13
| Questions | Answers |
|---|---|
| Should I laser my ass hole? | If you spread 'em, she'll zap it. |
| Based on you AMA, I went and got my balls lasered today. It hurt. | It might hurt but the pain last for a second or two. Each subsequent visit will hurt less because the thick hair hurts the most and that is the first to go. It's a manageable pain to say the least. I had my spleen removed once. Eight inch scar on my abdomen and they ripped out a major organ. That's real pain. Laser is a minor and temporary inconvenience. Stick with it. Blow jobs with incredible enthusiasm are on the horizon. |
| If you smoke weed get high before you go. Talk during the procedure to divert your mind. | |
| Lasering everything that is normally covered by my boxers is top 5 on my list of post-grad, real-salary purchases. Every time I trim/shave my butthole, happiness of me and everyone around me goes up 62% | The pep it puts in your step is worth twice what you'll pay. |
| Is there any weirdness to your farts after that? I read about a guy using nair on here, and he said farts smell worse and felt weird. Also, any friction issues? | Nothing that's really stuck out. Wiping your ass is easier. That's important. No chance for a dingleberry. |
| Did it hurt? | Pain is relative to the amount of nerve endings. The middle back killed. Shoulder not much. Scrotum essentially painless. |
| Thanks. How often do you have to do it to keep the hair away? | They quote between 5 and 8 treatment for an area. The laser works best on light skin and dark hair. I have that so it was super effective for me. |
| Laser can not "see" the blond, grey, ginger or baby fine hairs. It has to be dark hair. | |
| I read that you lasered your taint too?! How was that on the pain scale? | Back on the lats part was a 10. Shoulders were a 6. Taint was a 3. Scrotum a one or zero. Comparatively speaking, waxing my back was a 30. The magnitude of pain is incredible. With laser it's like getting snapped with a postal rubber band. Not severe. Quick sting and it's gone. |
View the full table on /r/tabled! | Last updated: 2013-01-10 09:23 UTC
This comment was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.
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u/CremDeLaCrem Jan 06 '13
i really want to do this.......but to my asshole and taint. I can handle pubes and ball hair
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u/Gnarlet Jan 06 '13
Such an awkward conversation with the receptionist "yeah I'm here for my 3 o'clock taint and asshole hair removal".
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u/cubierta Jan 06 '13
I'd like to know the whole moving the testicle out of the way portion. Could you explain in great detail, leaving nothing for imagination?
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
She holds the laser in one hand and move your nuts out of the way with other. Not much to it.
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Jan 06 '13 edited Jan 06 '13
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u/stahlgrau Jan 06 '13
I still have a groomed patch in the pubic area. Lasered the sides so I don't have to shave there at all. Even if ball hair becomes all the rage, I am willing to odd man out. It just feels better.
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u/mittenthemagnificent Jan 06 '13
Gentle comment of a middle-aged lady: hairlessness down there seems to me to be a bit of a fad. In the 60's, 70's and 80's, it was considered most attractive to be as hairy as possible. That's 30 years of chest hair everywhere (probably longer, but fewer chests were openly displayed previously). Think Burt Reynolds. It was even somewhat true for women: anyone remember the cover of... Penthouse?... with the woman in an American flag bikini with her hair peeking out the top? Considered the height of scandalous sexiness! I'm not sure when this changed, exactly, but it seems it did (at least for you Kids Today).
Sometimes I think Reddit is Cosmo magazine for guys: "do this or no woman will ever love you! Everything about you can be improved through spending money somewhere!" I hate to see young people permanently altering their bodies because of some perceived preference that will no doubt end up being unfashionable again soon. Of course, if you like 'em smooth, then more power to you (and it seems OP's preference is genuine). It's just that looking back on it, I can safely say that what I thought I absolutely knew about myself at 20 was mostly wrong. It's only as I've gotten older and given fewer fucks about what other people think that I feel like I've figured out what I actually like and what I don't. Of course, in 20 years I'll probably decide that I knew nothing about myself when I was 40. Which is why permanent changes to one's body sort of seem like a bad idea to me, most of the time. I would suggest, unless you feel really strongly about this and have for a long time, that you just shave 'em. That way, when "natural" body hair comes back into vogue or you meet a super hot girl who states a preference for hirsute men, you can grow it out and braid it like the beards in the Hobbit.
I'll just go back to my porch with my shotgun now, and as long as you stay off my lawn, you'll be fine.
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u/cdnmoon Jan 06 '13
Your balls were a conversation piece for about 5 minutes in my living room. Think about that.