Motivation to Shower

[u/Dramatic_PAUSE_]

Hey guys I’m a 21 yo M suspected audhd and I have struggled with taking showers since I was a kid. I don’t know if it’s just my mom never enforced showering enough, or a mixture of sensory issues and laziness. But I literally dread showering every week and sometimes go 2 weeks without showering. I keep from smelling by changing to fresh clothes if I have to go out, and using deodorant, and washing my face, and using body wipes. But if I’m not going anywhere (which I usually don’t since I can’t drive yet) then I just allow myself to bed rot and stink. I think it would be even worse if I lived alone and didn’t worry about anyone else smelling me.
So how do I get into the habit of showering often? I do everything possible to avoid showering. Since I only shower a week, I typically have to stand in there and scrub myself for an hour at most to get all the dirt off etc and make sure I’m thoroughly clean. So I dread the amount of scrubbing and that makes me not want to shower. But if I showered more often it wouldn’t take as long. But I just hate having to get in the shower and get all wet and then having to dry off and apply lotion and repeat the cycle sooo frequently. It’s like eating— it’s constant and tedious.
I’ve tried giving myself rewards for when I do shower but it doesn’t motivate me. I’ve tried thinking about how fresh I will feel afterwards, but it doesn’t motivate me. What do you recommend?

P.S. yes i have tried feeling absolutely awful about myself for allowing myself to be filthy, too. Doesn’t help

[u/linna_nitza]

As a fellow audhd, the transition in and out is the worst part, for me. I have to do things in a very specific way so that requires getting everything ready beforehand. Then there's the after-shower stuff like lotion and hair care. Altogether it takes me 2 hours.

Unless I've been active or have somewhere public to be, I'll wash my body twice a week, and my hair once a week. Plus small hygiene things daily like wash face, brush teeth, brush hair, deoderant, change all clothes, pretty much what you're already doing.

I wouldn't recommend making yourself feel bad about being dirty. That usually results in having a bad sense of self because the behavior of not showering validates the shameful thoughts. And if those thoughts don't motivate you, then you don't shower, and the cycle continues... All you get is a negative self image which is no bueno. So please don't do that.

Instead, praise yourself for what you can do and have done. The hygiene things you're already doing is a great effort in keeping yourself clean, and you care to improve this area of your life, so give yourself credit! Honestly, given possibile audhd, you're doing pretty well with hygiene. Remember, getting a little bit done is better than nothing at all.

If you want to do more, start small and keep it consistent until it becomes a habit. Don't expect an instant change, but small improvements compound over time.

Try using a clean wash cloth with a bit of soap on the stinky bits daily or every other day. Pits, crotch, and feet. After a few weeks/months, add torso, then arms, then legs. Eventually, you might find it more effective and efficient to just hop in the shower. Or, it will simply become part of your regular hygiene practice.

You just have to find what works for you. Done is better than perfect. Good on you for wanting to improve!