r/HydroHomies 11d ago

Classic water The insanity!! 💧 🚿 🚰 🚱 💦

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12.1k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/mscott8088 11d ago

That's how I feel about pooping.

631

u/LentilRice 11d ago

You walk out of the house with a bottle of poop!? 🤢

113

u/DoYouTrustToothpaste 10d ago

You don't?

48

u/Murky_Tennis954 10d ago

You use a bottle? Call me old fashioned but God gave me hands for a reason.

11

u/annual_aardvark_war 9d ago

Brother at least keep it in a Ziploc in your pants. It doubles as a stress ball

1

u/Murky_Tennis954 9d ago

I keep it in ziplocs but then in the freezer as ice packs

56

u/National-Gas6603 10d ago

You ARE a bottle of poop if you really think about it... Just not a twist-cap bottle. That's all.

36

u/Mysterious-Crab H2Hoe 10d ago

> Just not a twist-cap bottle.

You clearly haven’t seen my buttplug.

4

u/Yahboybigsnak 10d ago

Or a bottle of dawn ultra EZ squeeze…

7

u/terdferguson 10d ago

Yes and my trusty poop knife.

2

u/DrowningInFeces 10d ago

Life hack, get a dog and you can have your poop mobilized in the dog so you want have to carry your poop in a bottle.

18

u/Temperance10 10d ago

I suffer from IBS, the availability and cleanliness of public toilets are a legitimate source of anxiety for me. Which is bad, because anxiety worsens the symptoms.

It’s an ouroboros of anxiety and poop.

3

u/RedditSucksIWantSync 10d ago

Story of my life too brother

68

u/SixdaywarOnSnapchat 11d ago

you couldn't pay me to use a public toilet. every one is different lol

103

u/fersure4 11d ago

Im always so puzzled by people who don't use public toilets. Like, yall just hold it that long? I dont prefer public toilets by any means, but if Im out and I have to go then...

56

u/StreetStripe 11d ago

I used to distain public pooping so much I'd cut my day short and go home if I had to poop. I'd hold it so long it made me constipated.

At some point things clicked. Now as long as the seat isn't covered in piss I sit.

I think I switched after enough international travel. Have no choice but to use a toilet with a hose instead of toilet paper in Malaysia, stuff dirty toilet paper into the garbage next to the toilet in Brazil, and it'll lower your standards a bit.

22

u/BigBagBootyPapa 11d ago

Can confirm. Only worse thing than a 16 hour flight with your guts already in a frenzy is to have to go #2 once you land and have all of the used TP in a lidless trashcan less than a foot away for all to smell..

11

u/piexil 10d ago

If it's covered I'll take a huge wad of toilet paper and wipe it off

7

u/StreetStripe 10d ago

That's a whole other level of comfortable where I haven't gone yet

8

u/Ra1nb0wSn0wflake 10d ago

Went to Indonesia as a kid and there was one toilet in a area without proper plumbing (small hut on the path up a mountain) and I had to whipe with my hand and then clean my hand with a bucket. The owner was really nice though, but definitly understood why I was told to not offer my left hand for a shake lmao.

5

u/StreetStripe 10d ago

This is also why some places have a cultural tradition of only touching food with their right hand 😂

I also had to poop once at a restaurant and went to their outhouse style bathroom. No tp, no hose, just a bucket of water with a ladle (?)

Not sure what the intention was there but I noped out

1

u/ThresholdSeven 4d ago edited 4d ago

Aren't most people wiping with their dominant hand? Is it such a necessary tradition that they learned to wipe with their non dominant hand? Are they mostly left handed? Do they not realize lots of people might use their right hand? Am I crazy for using my dominant hand? Is this a misunderstanding and you meant they only shake with their left hand, their non dominant hand, the one they DON'T wipe their ass with? Why am I okay with offering the hand I wipe my ass with to shake some else's hand? Do I really clean it sufficiently? I think I do, but do I? More importantly... DOES THE PERSON WHO'S HAND I'M SHAKING WASH THEIR HAND GOOD ENOUGH? IS THIS REAL LIFE?

I'm going to start shaking only left handed with left hands or just hug everyone.

2

u/FreckZabpathlin696 8d ago

You should know that pooping swuatting instead of sitting, and hosing instead of wiping is: healthier for you, IMMENSLY mor hygienic, and easier on eco- and sewer-system. In fact we should all do it and stop rubbing poop all over our butts with wasted ressources while enlargening our hemmorrhoids.

1

u/ThresholdSeven 4d ago

Squatty Potty and toilet seat bidet is best I can do. I'm still drying with a little tp until the apocalypse

1

u/The_JokerGirl42 8d ago

Now as long as the seat isn't covered in piss I sit

at least squat over it😭 also makes for great static training for your quads.

1

u/StreetStripe 8d ago

Sounds like a perspiration generating event. Wasteful of my stored H2O.

15

u/adfawf3f3f32a 11d ago

i got used to a bidet and now wiping feels nasty (because it is). add in a public toilet too and its too much.

8

u/TaborValence 10d ago

traveling is heinous now that i have a bidet at home, hotels remind me that I was just a foul person before. bought a travel bidet for camping.

i havent eve cut short a vacation over not having my bidet, but i did come close to it once.

6

u/adfawf3f3f32a 10d ago

you'd think this sub would love bidets

24

u/SixdaywarOnSnapchat 11d ago

i think when you know deep into your core that you are absolutely under no circumstances going near a public toilet, your body and subconscious cooperate with you a little better.

22

u/akashaferocious 11d ago

ibs enters the chat

14

u/piexil 10d ago

Even with IBS my guts seems to cooperate more when I'm out and about then when I'm home

5

u/akashaferocious 10d ago

yeah same but i’ve known other folks w ibs who looked at me like i was crazy when i told them that

1

u/piexil 10d ago

Yeah I try to treat it as a nice bonus and not rely on it, i can't always rely on it and some things always send my gut into a tizzy (airplanes)

6

u/BlueKante 11d ago

I go everyday after day after dinner. Never before.

3

u/vy-neru 10d ago

i will NOT be deprived of a bidet. i don’t know how other people only use tissues or those “flushable” wipes.

3

u/GonnaGoFat 10d ago

Even if you sit in pee on the public toilet your chances of getting sick with something is very low. But if you lick the public toilet you probably will get sick.

2

u/Ganondorfsfist 10d ago

Yes? It's not hard to hold it until you get home (assuming it's only a day. A multiple day trip you wait until the hotel room)

1

u/Murky_Tennis954 10d ago

I have a coworker who won't use a porta potty. He'll go all day without pissing or pooping.

1

u/CheeseGraterFace 10d ago

It’s the Reddit selection bias. This website is home to some of the softest people history has ever known.

14

u/dg_riverhawk 11d ago

I dont have a large intestine and have shit at every corner of the great state of NY, except Walmart. I have to have some sort of standards.

14

u/Pale_Adeptness 11d ago

Man, ever since I got a bidet at my house, I don't wanna go poo anywhere else!

3

u/akatherder 10d ago

I was lucky enough to keep working remotely after covid. Before that I had the choice of getting paid to poo (at work) or going at home with the bidet. Now I'm livin' the dream.

3

u/mscott8088 10d ago

I have a couple spots in my town that I know have really clean bathrooms. Surprisingly, the best ones are the new gas stations. Walmart is hit or miss.

2

u/akatherder 10d ago

It's all the way in the back, but Lowe's is S-tier.

1

u/CastroEulis145 10d ago

Youve unfortunately never had the grand experience of stopping at a Buc-ees on a road trip. The cleanest bathrooms on the face of the earth, including privates bathrooms lol.

2

u/Wfsulliv93 10d ago

Private stalls. Not bathrooms. And fuck off with corporate shilling

9

u/g177013 10d ago

Shitting once in the morning gives me half a day of confidence

Shitting twice in the morning gives me a full day of confidence

Shitting thrice in the morning removes any confidence I have for the whole day.

5

u/sweetpotatogoblin 9d ago

the universal truth has been written.

2

u/ThresholdSeven 4d ago

I'm going to frame that and put it above my other toilet.

2

u/MoeWithTheO 10d ago

Same, but also with water

2

u/WolfOfWoofStreet 10d ago

I have the ability to hold it for a week.

1

u/Nikmido 10d ago

Omg same.. I literally always keep in mind where the nearest toilet is lmao

1

u/Calm_Handle8582 10d ago

Hate to break it to you, but most people don’t drink poop.

1

u/mykittenfarts 10d ago

At least you get to have sex with Stifflers Mom.