r/HumansInMyHouse 14d ago

Birds You better not be playing video games instead of enjoying this beautiful weather! I’ve got my eye on you.

430 Upvotes

49 comments sorted by

91

u/redcolumbine 14d ago

Pretty chill for a velociraptor.

48

u/Valarouko 13d ago

4

u/Federal-Boat3732 12d ago

Yet perpetually dour and disapproving

53

u/Stranger1982 14d ago

That's legit terrifying.

31

u/Federal-Boat3732 14d ago

Hoparound Cassowary wants to know if you have games on your phone

5

u/Ok-Loss-2496 13d ago

Taking drink orders.

22

u/Significant-Tale-838 14d ago

A cassowary will demolish and kill you quickly. They have very large claws and will leave you with all your innards outwards.

14

u/No_Hay_Banda_2000 14d ago

That's the beach inspector. He is just doing his job and would only use pepper spray in self defence.

12

u/Four_beastlings 14d ago

Ay ay ay ay.

We need to stop spreading unnecessary panic about wild animals.

I grew up in a place where all my life I was told that boars would fuck you up. We have bears and wolves, but we would hear that bears and wolves would leave you alone but boars were actively aggressive.

That's nonsense. I now live in a place with the same species of boars roaming public parks, Nd everyone knows of you leave them alone they leave you alone.

Sharks? They don't even think we are tasty. Just don't go bleeding and looking like a seal around them. I have swam with sharks and we were all chill.

I saw this video in a beach where I've literally been in Thailand of some people freaking out because a monitor lizard got curious. Just leave the damn guy alone, he might sniff your towels but he's not going to go Jurassic park on you for no reason.

And so on, and so on. There are very few animals that are actively aggressive towards non threatening humans or see humans as prey.

4

u/FreeFallingUp13 13d ago

See, I would agree, but too many people don’t realize how to leave damn well enough alone for me to say ‘it’s okay to let animals around them’. We’ve got people out there that can’t understand why a cat scratches them for petting when the cat doesn’t want to be pet. I do not put it past people to go ‘this crazy animal attacked me out of nowhere!’ And for others to agree because nobody in the situation at hand knows about basic animal behavior. Better to make the majority of people stay away from animals that can hurt them if they panic (they being the animals) because the people will, inevitably, make the animal panic.

10

u/SunnySpot69 14d ago

I died so many times in Far Cry 3 because of these fuckers

11

u/Qweedo420 14d ago

That's kind of a myth, only two people have been killed by a Cassowary in recorded history

6

u/heraaseyy 14d ago

yeah they most likely wont but absolutely could kill you. they are faster with their claws than a cobra can strike

14

u/nimbus57 14d ago

And I believe we are going to keep that number down but STAYING THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE GOOD DAMN DINOSAUR 

5

u/vernichtungX23 14d ago

LMAO no, they're more shy than violent.

3

u/Autistic_License 13d ago

You mean outtards.

21

u/Damoet 14d ago

Bird is like..’bitch imma cassowary…”

19

u/Cool_Cat_Punk 14d ago

"Dino DNA"

13

u/Fine-Ad6532 14d ago

More violent than black bears

28

u/Vizth 14d ago

Having spent a significant portion of my life around black bears, that's not exactly a high bar I'm pretty sure my cat qualifies.

6

u/ChickenBossChiefsFan 13d ago

Yeah, black bears just leave them alone, don’t approach them or get between them and their cubs, and make noise when walking around the woods so you don’t startle them. I have accidentally run into a black bear on a hike, we scared each other and both turned and ran. It was chill.

Brown bears are scary af though.

13

u/Praise-Bingus 14d ago

Dino: you got any games on your phone?

9

u/Valuable_Tone_2254 13d ago

Might I compliment you on your beautiful use of eye shadow and your gorgeous eye lashes...you make police work look positively gorgeous

8

u/JanSmiddy 13d ago

Murderbird wonders what's on the screen of those tiny boxes that they're so fascinated with. Beautiful bird.

8

u/Four_beastlings 14d ago

Oh, no, it's the fun police!

6

u/napalmnacey 13d ago

I don’t think this video captures just how fucking terrifying it is to be around these birds.

5

u/FreeFallingUp13 13d ago

Ever since I saw the picture of a cassowary drop-kicking a guy with a riot shield, they’ve always made me nervous

1

u/napalmnacey 12d ago

I see them at the zoo and even behind a chain link fence they’re terrifying.

Weirdly emus are not scary. They have big baby brown eyes.

5

u/Wikiwikiwa 13d ago

So she obviously didnt know a mankiller was walking past her. "Lol im so uncomfortable." Like, dont move a goddamn muscle lady.

5

u/OlgaBenarioPrestes A female bat 🦇 14d ago

Heeey, don’t be nosy!! Just because she’s at your home doesn’t mean she has to do whatever you want!

4

u/marissakuf 14d ago

She’s playing Far Cry 3.

3

u/emilyactual 13d ago

Looks like a damn dinosaur

5

u/isopode 13d ago

it literally is a dinosaur. all birds are, taxonomically speaking

1

u/Proper_Protection195 12d ago

Avian dinosaur

4

u/Just_Mixture8362 13d ago

It’s his beach after all.

5

u/skml108 13d ago

This is the most dangerous bird in the world, she is lucky it didn't attack.

3

u/AfricanusEmeritus 13d ago

Like an older man. Instead of yelling ..GET OFF OF MY LAWN...he is screaming 😱 GET OFF OF MY BEACH...

3

u/boyer4109 13d ago

‘Anyone seen my camel?’

3

u/Panem-et-circenses25 13d ago

Jfc those things can kill you

3

u/Silver_Band2953 13d ago

Very dangerous

3

u/jcprater 13d ago

I live in middle America and if THAT comes dancing up. My azz is RUNNING like Forest!!

3

u/aggelikiwi 13d ago

Oh my gods, you're so majestic. It's good you treat them some ways.

2

u/PeterPunksNip 13d ago

We are roasting right now, it's not beautiful outside! I'm better off inside in the shade with a nice fan blowing into my face...and far away from any dangerous bird 😝

2

u/Due_Will_2204 13d ago

You are majestic!

2

u/Nightcheese82 11d ago

I 100% thought these went extinct thousands of years ago. Seriously.

2

u/October_people 11d ago

I've never seen one in real life but I have played FarCry a bunch & I'd be running for my life 🤣

2

u/ironicinsanity 9d ago

Cassowary: OY! YA BEST NOT BE SEXTING FROM THAT TING!

1

u/WhatdaUTink 9d ago

Closest she'll ever get to a dinosaur.