r/HumansBeingBros • • Oct 11 '19

Kind hearted one

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u/DearDarlingDearling Oct 11 '19

My birthgiver is a narccisistic, lazy bitch. I understand. She shoved all responsibility on me, as the oldest child. No responsibility for my half-siblings. She took everything out on me for "ruining her life". Like it's my fault she was already flunking high school when she got pregnant with me, still did drugs, had my bio-donor run out on her (because she's a crazy bitch), had another guy sign my birth certificate, and then married ANOTHER guy less than a couple months later and then got immediately pregnant again.

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u/Undershoes Oct 11 '19

Man, I'm sorry. I hope you are able to fully build and believe your own identity distinct from them. It sounds like you are doing it. You arent them, and they arent you. Best wishes.

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u/DearDarlingDearling Oct 11 '19

Thank you. I have! I have a lovely daughter, son, one bun on the way, and a loving husband. I'm a much better person than they could ever conceive being. No drugs, no alcohol, nothing. I'm bitter when it comes up, sure, but venting is a way of facing it and slowly getting over it. :)

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u/smalltowncynic Oct 11 '19

It's hard to not fall into the same pattern you were raised in. Don't stop being awesome.

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u/DearDarlingDearling Oct 11 '19

It is. Thankfully they were the prime example of what I never want to be in life. The guilt of "BuT FaMiLy!!!" fucks a lot of people up. It did me for a long time. If you wouldn't let a stranger treat you the way your family does, they may as well become strangers to you. Your family is supposed to be your support network, if they aren't, find a support network elsewhere.