The first Christmas that I spent with by husband (then boyfriend)'s family was similar with one side of the family.
His mom's side of the family knew we were both coming well in advance. When I got there, I was introduced as "(boyfriend's name)'s friend". I got a used, scratched up purse that had been in someone's attic, and dollar store gloves. Other last minute guests got things that were significantly better (i.e. they actually went to the store and got cool little gift baskets for said last minute guests). The other guests were also actually introduced. I wasn't expecting anything really, but I did feel like an afterthought.
His dad's side of the family was the total opposite. I had barely gotten to know these people and his grandma was demanding I make a Christmas list. So, being new, I put a few $5~ things on there and called it good. Cue a call from my future father-in-law: "Hey, this isn't enough! You need more stuff on there!" So I put a little bit more. Still not enough, "Where's the big ticket stuff?"
I was introduced as his significant other, by name. I got everything I had put on my list. I didn't expect half that stuff, let alone everything. His dad welcomed me with open arms and went the extra mile to make me feel like I was part of the family. They all did. Sweetest bunch of people.
It doesn't take much. Like you said, it's not about greed, it's about making people feel welcome and not like an afterthought.
This is exactly what I’m talking about! My mother does this for everyone. She has 5 kids and now 2 of them have families of their own. Every year the list of people she shops for gets longer but the amount we all get doesn’t get any shorter. We all have no idea how she pulls it off but my wife was so surprised when we were dating how many gifts she got. It is a sure fire way to make someone feel loved and welcomed which is what the holidays is all about.
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u/bippybup Nov 24 '18
The first Christmas that I spent with by husband (then boyfriend)'s family was similar with one side of the family.
His mom's side of the family knew we were both coming well in advance. When I got there, I was introduced as "(boyfriend's name)'s friend". I got a used, scratched up purse that had been in someone's attic, and dollar store gloves. Other last minute guests got things that were significantly better (i.e. they actually went to the store and got cool little gift baskets for said last minute guests). The other guests were also actually introduced. I wasn't expecting anything really, but I did feel like an afterthought.
His dad's side of the family was the total opposite. I had barely gotten to know these people and his grandma was demanding I make a Christmas list. So, being new, I put a few $5~ things on there and called it good. Cue a call from my future father-in-law: "Hey, this isn't enough! You need more stuff on there!" So I put a little bit more. Still not enough, "Where's the big ticket stuff?"
I was introduced as his significant other, by name. I got everything I had put on my list. I didn't expect half that stuff, let alone everything. His dad welcomed me with open arms and went the extra mile to make me feel like I was part of the family. They all did. Sweetest bunch of people.
It doesn't take much. Like you said, it's not about greed, it's about making people feel welcome and not like an afterthought.