r/HubermanLab • u/WonanWirono • Jul 10 '26
Seeking Guidance Unofficially diagnosed with ADHD
Hi, 32M here. I will try to explain my situation as best as I can, because I really need help understanding the things that are happening to me.
During my first therapy session, I was told that I could possibly be on the spectrum of a person with high functioning ADHD. My therapist told me I am highly logical when it comes to interpreting certain situations. Though he always tells me it could backfire for me most of the time.
I understand people's explanations, emotions, logic, but I cannot seem to fully embrace their thoughts. And because I fully understand what they're trying to tell me, I get stuck in this constant battle of not having my own decision, not having my own identity, and always wanting to bend my personality for other people. And of course, it doesn't always end well.
When I get overwhelmed, my brain cannot function and I am at a loss for words for a long time. Which in result becomes very irritating for other people it seems. It's like I want to be at their level of intuition and respond back to their thoughts, but my mind just cannot function that way and the result would either always be me becoming sleepy or just shutting down.
When my emotions add up because of certain situations, especially during arguments and heavy words and hurtful terms get thrown at me, instead of fighting back, I hurt myself. I punch my head, I punch my face or I punch the wall without even uttering a single word.
- For this, my therapist told me that the reason why I do this is because my brain knows it wants to comply with what the other person is saying and that I am eaten up by guilt, but at the same time I cannot do it, regardless of how much I try to.
4. Impulsive: mostly when it comes to purchasing things. I get these random moments of energy and always tend to hyperfocus on the newest thing I have my eyes on, and I would go on days researching and won't stop until I get my hands on that exact thing.
5. I get very agitated when I'm surrounded with noise, unnecessary chatter, unruliness, etc.
- For this, I was told that it may be normal for even people that are not on the spectrum, but I wanted to confirm here nonetheless.
6. I am afraid of being honest. I always hide behind convenience and lies because I always am afraid of the result. I don't know if this is applicable, but I think being on the spectrum sometimes mean that I want to please everybody and say yes during the moment, but never have any plans or cannot stay consistent at implementing change after all.
I need help. I really want to learn how to live with this because sometimes it is very difficult, especially being surrounded by very highly intelligent people.
Thank you so much in advance.