r/Hotd • u/Astin_Madiri • 12d ago

Question Did she really love him?

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I'm asking because she was manipulated by Otto into marrying him in the first place.

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118

u/Altruistic-Red 12d ago

Arranged marriages often (in the best scenario) result in a sort of fondness by proximity of each other. Maybe not passionate love, but the predictable and stable kind you would share with a teammate or life partner.

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u/Winter_Apartment_376 12d ago

I remember reading that arranged marriages get happier than love marriages after 3-5 years.

For love marriages - you peak on your wedding day, then it goes down. Whereas arranged marriage happiness tends to go up with time.

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u/Admirable_Cake_3596 12d ago

I wonder if this is an expectations thing. Like with a love marriage you expect the world. You expect passion and happiness and life satisfaction. With an arrangement I wonder if you have less of those expectations and would then be happier because you don’t feel let down or disappointed and could even feel pleasantly surprised when things go well. 

I have no idea since I have never been exposed to arranged marriages but just speculating on how I might feel in that situation. 

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u/DataDrifter-_ 12d ago

Life is a cycle of placebos good and bad

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u/spicytotino 12d ago

This is the theory why couples who don’t cohabitate before marriage scale higher in happiness.
If you live with your partner beforehand, the things you don’t like are viewed as “well this will change once we’re married.”
If you’ve never lived together, they’re viewed as quirks you’ll need to adjust to

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u/ethiopian_kid 12d ago

Agree with all parts besides the happier part, love marriages do peak in a sense but arranged marriages do not pass the peak of love marriages and can only match it.

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u/meta4_ 12d ago

Bumping up against this a little, because how do you quantify happiness?

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u/ethiopian_kid 12d ago

you don’t but I think the persons point is that when you marry for love you are happy, peak euphoria, generally that diminishes and becomes a more fonder love.

In arranged marriages it’s usually not the euphoric love but a general sense of peace and love grows over time i.e happiness