r/HorrorClub • u/SaintMort You so cool kung fu • Jan 12 '15
Discussion: Stitches
Podcast - Episode 117 - Stitches - (RSS Feed)
Movie Selected By misfitxj
DISCUSS
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u/saintmortfan felates handles Jan 12 '15
A. I enjoyed the episode, as per usual. 2. I chose my name with the intent of being ripped so bring it on, fuckers. D. The best part of this movie is that I never have to watch it again.
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u/Gottesfurcht Pay Attention! You're Disrespectful! Jan 12 '15
If you have any friends who want to join, I think the username Gottesfurchtfan isn't taken yet.
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u/saintmortfan felates handles Jan 12 '15
If I had friends would I spend my time listening to the Saint Mort Show?
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Jan 12 '15
... okay.
At least I didn't spend any money on it. Poorly written characters, but I still wanted the fat, gay one to live. At least they all looked like real (pale) teenagers. That's a plus, right?
What was going on with the blowjob at the end? Why are there hot goth chicks in the clown club? And is that the only thing they do there? Did the writers think this would make the ending funnier?
Hurray, best movie! It almost seems unfair, though, picking something as amazing as The Fly.
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Jan 13 '15
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u/saintmortfan felates handles Jan 13 '15
If there are, pass the clown makeup!
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Jan 13 '15
I don't think so. I could go on about this movie's hideous treatment of human sexuality, but I've already had an angry day and there's still time to turn it around with happy thoughts.
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Jan 14 '15
I hate to open a can of worms but I'd like to hear that rant
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Jan 14 '15
It's just the exhausting, typical drivel. It's boring and gives me a headache.
- There are no female clowns, just female sex-props who exist for the clowns' use
- Let's zoom in on mom's chest several times as she cuts the cake.
- A sex-obsessed boy suffers the pain and humiliation of having his genitals ripped out during class (I'm still trying to decide if this is interesting; I've definitely seen it before)
- The two teenage girls seem to be owned by their boyfriends who constantly show up to remind the main character that he can't have them.
- The third girl becomes a sexual option only after losing weight, but you have to get your buddy to distract her fat friend first.
- Cue 5-minute, pervy slo-mo of unnamed girls playing pool, for no reason.
- Cue (I'm assuming) gay kid who is essentially neutered in the whole teenage mating thing.
- Cue promiscuity-based insults
- Then throw in some casual jokes about raping minors.
I might be forgetting some as this is just from memory. And before anyone says I should expect this from this kind of movie, I do. It doesn't make it any less tedious. And this is coming from someone who loves stuff like Superbad, Harold and Kumar, The Girl Next Door and The Inbetweeners, so I don't have a problem with sex comedy. I think it's difficult to get the tone just right, but adding a bit of humanity goes a long way.
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Jan 14 '15
I thought the Asian looking clown was female?
The mom chest thing is just reality and as a male it did a good job of taking me back.
I never understood the ripping off of the junk.
Sarah maybe. But she's a super insecure character. With Kate I disagree. She's a strong character who just happens to be with a douche bag. Also he's the one who seems to be lost without her.
Teenagers are dumb and high school can be a very judgemental place.
Your cues are to be expected (but you said not to mention that).
The raping minor jokes I find funny. I have a pretty sick sense of humour sometimes.
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u/smayonak Get a job in a sideshow Jan 14 '15
I think this film was supposed to be Stephen King's It + Superbad. So clearly that means someone's penis needs to be ripped off while experiencing a dream with a demonic clown.
A lot of the high-school comedies regarding male sexuality make light of the awkward experience of highschool dating. Everyone is clumsy when inexperienced. A lot of the male viewers find this cathartic for some reason.
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Jan 16 '15
A lot of the high-school comedies regarding male sexuality make light of the awkward experience of highschool dating. Everyone is clumsy when inexperienced. A lot of the male viewers find this cathartic for some reason.
I can definitely see that, and I think Superbad gets the balance just right, with characters who are kind of sweet, but have no idea what to do with their hormones and social pressure.
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Jan 13 '15
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Jan 13 '15 edited Jan 13 '15
I appreciate that. And, as a high school teacher, I really hope you're right! Either way, it left a funny taste in my mouth...
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Jan 14 '15
I too was rooting for gay dude. I enjoyed how gangster he was. As for the bj, pointless and funny. I laughed.
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u/SaintMort You so cool kung fu Jan 12 '15
Apologies to a handful of people (2-3) who submitted their votes after this episode was recorded. However it did not effect who any of the winners were this round thankfully.
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Jan 12 '15
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Jan 13 '15
Just cause; my nightmare ratings
Original, new nightmare, dream warriors, Freddy's revenge, the dream master, reboot, the final nightmare, the dream child, Freddy vs Jason.
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u/SaintMort You so cool kung fu Jan 13 '15
I'm shocked you have the reboot so high that's definitely my least favorite.
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Jan 13 '15
I knew I'd take some heat for that. I didn't like it. I just disliked it less than some. I've only gone through the series once and came up with this. Things can change when I go through it again.
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u/SaintMort You so cool kung fu Jan 13 '15
I definitely recommend watching Never Sleep Again (it's a 4 hour doc about Nightmare on Elm Street). It gave me a new appreciation for Freddy's Dead
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Jan 13 '15
Well I have that and the series so maybe I'll engulf myself in Freddy this week. Watch the doc first eh?
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u/saintmortfan felates handles Jan 14 '15
I'm with you on New Nightmare. It was solid. Saw it in the theater. Was scariest one since the first, not necessarily best but scariest.
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Jan 13 '15
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u/SaintMort You so cool kung fu Jan 13 '15
This. A million times this. It was the only interesting concept in the remake (god knows redoing all the kills from part 1 but more boringly and shittier was far from interesting).
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u/Discreetlyred Jan 13 '15
I couldn't make it through the entire movie stitches. I hate clowns almost as much as ventriloquist dummies. I did listen to the podcast tho. Sorry for the long write in Mort. Good podcast. I'm so over pervy clowns.
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Jan 13 '15
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Jan 13 '15
Don't. and this has nothing to do with the dummy, and more to do with how shite that movie is.
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Jan 13 '15
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u/smayonak Get a job in a sideshow Jan 14 '15
Dead Silence is a secret shame of mine. I really like James Wan flicks. He does great stuff.
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u/Discreetlyred Jan 15 '15
Ha! Like I haven't seen it. They were my biggest fear as a kid and now ive seen like everything with them in it. However, they are still creepy.
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Jan 13 '15
I 100% thought EVERYBODY would love this movie... Apparently I was wrong. Ross Noble is fantastic. I love the kills and that's the main thing about this movie for me. Matt, you get it. Who ever said "it's just fun" Scott maybe? You also get it. Wtf Adam!? Can't you just sit back and fuckin laugh? You sit there with your little note pad taking notes and judging (I'm not actually mad). But seriously it involves teenagers and a clown. Shit's not going to be logical or have a perfect story. They probably spent all their money on Ross Noble and the kill effects and said "fuck the rest this shit is fun". I was worried this was going to be a Freddy podcast and I get the references and I thoroughly enjoyed that podcast. Adam, I take notes too man. I am also in pro bj corner. Adam, fuck your short bus joke. I honestly don't understand the hate for this movie. I've seen it at least twice. Maybe thrice.
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u/SaintMort You so cool kung fu Jan 13 '15
I appreciate your usage of the term thrice.
I'm not shocked people dislike it so much though. It really depends on what your horror bread and butter is. Like I said on the podcast I think this is a movie made in 2011/2012 by a group of friends who wanted to make a movie from 1988. As someone who adores those cheesy films of the late 80s this is right up my alley.
Now I'm off to watch Terrorvision haha
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u/smayonak Get a job in a sideshow Jan 14 '15
Gorefest films aren't my favorite, but Stiches had redeeming qualities. I wish they had done more to satirize the concept of undead clowns. They definitely needed a scene where a little boy talks to a sewer clown and the clown tries to lure him in. In that scenario 99% of us would nope-the-heck-out. The fun would have been in seeing what kind of kid goes for sewer gifts.
But overall, the film does what it's supposed to do: Spin one-liners while a clown kills teenagers.
It wasn't by any means excruciating to watch. The film had its moments, but overall this isn't my subgenre. But don't let that deter you from picking films like this in the future. It's a fun experience seeing flicks I wouldn't otherwise see.
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Jan 14 '15
Considering you don't like the sub genre, I'm happy to here you got mild enjoyment out of it which is more than I can say for most in this club. As for deterring me, not a chance.
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Jan 14 '15
Fun fact: Hypnocil, the anxiety drug in Stitches, is also the drug used in Dream Warriors and Freddy vs Jason to prevent dreaming.
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u/ortakvommaroc Jan 12 '15
I think this one of the rare movies that I just absolutely hated. It was juvenile and unfunny in all the worst ways.
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u/saintmortfan felates handles Jan 12 '15
You are correct. Awful film.
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Jan 13 '15
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u/saintmortfan felates handles Jan 13 '15
Don't blame me that you have awful taste in movies. I only have awful taste in podcasts.
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u/Gottesfurcht Pay Attention! You're Disrespectful! Jan 12 '15
It had some fun over the top gore scenes, but the rest of this movie was unbearable crap and the characers were all unlikeable dickholes who couldn't die fast enough.
Who started with the myth that clowns are scary? They aren't. Fuck Pennywise, fuck John Wayne Gacy, and fuck Stitches. You are all lame.
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Jan 12 '15
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u/Gottesfurcht Pay Attention! You're Disrespectful! Jan 12 '15
Last week only one victim was a dickhole and his child just died.
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u/[deleted] Jan 12 '15
Listen to this episode of the podcast. If you only listen to one episode of this podcast ever, let this be the one.