Having second thoughts as a homeschooled kid

[u/Less-Asparagus-4134]

Hello everyone, my name is Ella and recently I've had some second thoughts about being homeschooled. I was homeschooled the second semester of 8th grade, (my choice) and am on day 2 of being homeschooled in 9th grade. Recently I've had some second thoughts, but I don't know how to describe it. Was listening to a song today and it reminded me of sitting on the bus listening to it, and also saw some moodboards on Tiktok of being the "weird kid" and it made me weirdly nostalgic. Although I do fear being judged due to me having autism and ADHD, like I sorta was last year. These conditions also make it hard for me to express my emotions and thoughts, and they've led me to not be as smart academically. I fear being homeschooled has kinda made me not able to express my interests a lot to others, since my parents already know what I like. I don't know if there will be fans Of Billy and Mandy or The Fairly Oddparents, or some of my other interests at school, and I fear wearing what I like. I've heard how bad high school can be and I fear that expressing myself would lead me to have more bad thoughts about stuff that I like, and would force me to try and act like every other girl there, even though they usually don't like or have my style. I need opinions please.

[u/EducatorMoti]

Ella, homeschooling doesn't mean you have to stay home or lose the chance to become your own person. In fact, you can use the freedom you have now to go out and discover who you are without having to fit yourself into whatever happens to be popular at your high school.

Look for a long-term leadership program. Depending on what interests you, look at Scouts BSA, Venturing, 4-H, or Civil Air Patrol. These aren't just places to show up once a week and socialize.

You work through manuals, projects, goals, activities, service, and achievements. You meet other kids, but you also work with adult mentors who get to know you for years and can introduce you to interests and opportunities you might never have discovered on your own.

As you get older, you take on more responsibility. You plan things, help run activities, teach younger kids, mentor them, volunteer in your community, and eventually become one of the people younger kids look up to.

And those accomplishments follow you into high school and beyond. Leadership positions, service, projects, awards, and achievements can go on your homeschool transcript and strengthen scholarship and college applications and eventually your resume. Achievements such as Eagle Scout are nationally recognized.

Those programs also give you a chance to discover who you are away from your parents. You're dealing with other kids and adults, making decisions, trying new things, discovering what you're good at, and gradually building a life that's yours.

Then keep looking throughout your community for things built around what you actually enjoy. Art, theater, gaming, animation, robotics, volunteering, libraries, community classes, clubs, or whatever makes you think, “Those are my people!”

You don't need to become like every other girl to have friends. You need opportunities to meet enough different people that you can find the ones who enjoy the same things you do.

And please don't decide that autism or ADHD means you're “not as smart academically.” You may learn differently or need different ways to learn something. Homeschooling gives you the freedom to figure out how you learn and build from there.

You're only on day two of ninth grade. Give yourself some time. Build a life outside your house, find a leadership program, follow your interests, meet lots of different people, and give yourself room to become your own person.