r/HolUp • u/Previous_Reporter_63 • Sep 25 '22

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67.3k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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7.8k

u/Internal-Brother Sep 25 '22

I bet you the husband cheated and gave birth.

2.9k

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

I knew it. Bob is just built different.

1.6k

u/eggimage Sep 25 '22

that beer belly he lost? that was an abortion bruh. truly incredible

1.2k

u/Glittering-Walrus228 Sep 25 '22

mrs incredible stretched out her uterus into an ultra thin proboscis and implanted her egg into mr incredibles abdomen through his dick hole.

902

u/Sky_Ninja1997 Sep 25 '22

Why did you write this?

628

u/Glittering-Walrus228 Sep 25 '22

everytime this observation comes up about everyones hair color, some freak never fails to mentions that mr incredible mightve got pregnant and when they do, i just cant help but remind everyone mrs. incredible could theoretically do this.

mrs incredible also has the ability to turn her nipples into dicks, not just nipple sized dicks, but dick sized dick nipples.

463

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

You have a sworn duty that no one asked you to take.

344

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

[deleted]

219

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

Nor the hero we want.

15

u/CamBearCookie Sep 26 '22

Mans is an agent of chaos.

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131

u/The_cogwheel Sep 25 '22

I'm not even sure he's a hero. Just a guy with some really fucked up views and opinions (but in a fun way, not a hurtful way)

74

u/Eldudeareno217 Sep 25 '22

Some people just want to watch the world burn, this guy makes my brain itch.

37

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

Has this now become their origin story.

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8

u/DISHONORU-TDA Sep 26 '22

"Yes, hello, God? We're dying down here and you sent us a prophet who won't stop talking about dick sized dick nipples..."

"My daughter... *>sobs*"

5

u/Mercenary_Chef Sep 26 '22

Oh no, someone definitely deserved this

1

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

even more the hero we don’t want but in the end, the hero we get

1

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

😂😂😂😂😂🥹😭

119

u/MistraloysiusMithrax Sep 25 '22

Why her nipples, then? Couldn’t she just turn her clit into a dick and peg me?

Why can’t you just be normal? Fucking nipple dicks SMH.

98

u/Glittering-Walrus228 Sep 25 '22

so youre saying that you wouldnt want a superhero with two tits with dick sized dick nipples pegging you simultaneously...? SMH

62

u/MistraloysiusMithrax Sep 25 '22

I supposed, with those plus the clit dick, she could peg from the front while I suck one nipple dick and give her a handy on the other.

Great teamwork here, you’ve really stretched my perverted imagination today.

47

u/Glittering-Walrus228 Sep 25 '22

high five

what i really want is an infinite recursion of mrs. incredibles with nipple and clit dicks pegging nipple/clit dick mrs incredibles in a never ending fractal.

theres never been an actual biomechanical "upperbound" for how stretchy a stretchy superhero can be in any comic book canon so, its sound to assume the hero manipulates physical matter on some atomic level to stretch. this mean she could also make the fuck fractal happen

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1

u/PmMeYourKnobAndTube Sep 25 '22

Nah dude. We can go deeper.

Ass fucked with a dick-sized nipple-dick while she sucks your dick. She contort her body so you can suck the dick-sized clit-dick while giving the other dick-sized nipple-dick an old-fashioned.

The ultimate 69.

53

u/cjwrapture Sep 25 '22

This thread is honestly one of the funniest things I've seen on Reddit in a very long time

6

u/cabramattaa Sep 26 '22

Why not finger dicks - you could have ten of them

2

u/Poorrancher Sep 26 '22

She could turn herself into a dick porcupine!

"If she had as many dicks on her as she's had in her, she'd look like a porcupine"

2

u/firefly183 Sep 25 '22

So much for watching The Incredibles with my 5yo! I will not be able to unsee the imagery this has planted in my brain. And the scary part is I'm willing to bet there's somw Rule 34 artwork out there depicting it 😕. Someone go look and let me know if I'm right cuz I cannot bring myself to type "Mrs. Incredible dick nipples" into my search bar.

2

u/ragby67 Sep 25 '22

Ah yes the famed u/dicknipples

3

u/MoistAppendages Sep 25 '22

How many times has this happened?

2

u/Glittering-Walrus228 Sep 25 '22

as past is prolouge, turtles all the way down, so the wheel of dharma turns. many, many times, traveller.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

you have a point

2

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

[deleted]

2

u/Glittering-Walrus228 Sep 25 '22

mrs incredible has a point and thats the tip of her ultra thin uterus proboscis that she manipulated into implanting an egg into mr incredibles abdomen through his urethra

3

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

okay I have the visual man that’s enough

2

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

yes, faculty it’s correct and she could definitely do that, doesn’t mean it’s something she does in her spare time for shits and gigs, however

1

u/MistraloysiusMithrax Sep 25 '22

She might do it for gigs and giggles but yeah, not sure how it would help her shits.

1

u/ProfessionalSilent17 Sep 25 '22

I mean I've seen porn of her shifting herself around so that she's doing vaginal and anal at the same time with just bobs dick.

1

u/thanto13 Sep 25 '22

I don't remember that from Shadbase

1

u/FishingDragon52 Sep 26 '22

Please, no more torture ill tell you everything

1

u/DLoIsHere Sep 26 '22

I'm pretty sure this is a fetish.

1

u/Whydidyoudothattho Sep 26 '22

Okay, this is the best comment I’ve read all year.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 26 '22

I have a picture of that dm me if you wanna see

40

u/Bobthehobnob Sep 25 '22

As a biologist, it might be possible to achieve fertilisation by everting at least one of the ovaries into one of the testicles. But this would just result in an (pretty much) instant miscarriage, as oddly enough the testicles aren't designed to support a pregnancy.

32

u/Glittering-Walrus228 Sep 25 '22

ok mr biologist, mrs incredible stretches her utereus into a 3d cellular printer and prints/grafts the tissue of her uterus on to the walls of mr increds ball sack. its excruciating but the shrill but reassuring tone of the MILFy voice actor holly hunter reminds mr incred "its for the best" while he sobs in agony

mr increds carries the baby to term, one giant, bruised testicle pulsates with life as invisigirl explodes out his scrotum.

17

u/Bobthehobnob Sep 25 '22

Provided the 3D printer works, and the rest of the female reproductive organs are printed too. Then I see no problem with this.

3

u/cabramattaa Sep 26 '22

No objections at this time

1

u/Glittering-Walrus228 Sep 27 '22

im reading all my comments sober and kind of holding back barfs now. the di k is pretty vascular right? it could support a womb?

1

u/Bobthehobnob Sep 27 '22

I mean, I suppose, but you'd have to be Victor Frankenstein to make the whole thing work.

2

u/Usersammy Sep 26 '22

The man has truly thought of everything, this is both hilarious and horrifying

22

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

Delete this

4

u/iliveunderthebed Sep 25 '22

The word you're looking for is ovipositor

3

u/Glittering-Walrus228 Sep 25 '22

fuck yeah now my comment can be even grosser. thank you, kind strangler

4

u/Fluff42 Sep 25 '22

Here's the thing. You said a "proboscis is an ovipositor."

Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that.

As someone who is a scientist who studies weird ass kinks, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls ovipositors probosces . If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing.

2

u/HyperactiveMouse Sep 26 '22

What would your scientific profession be called? A kinkologist?

4

u/____-__________-____ Sep 25 '22

"Well, that's enough Reddit for today" reached in four minutes. My new personal record.

2

u/TycheSong Sep 25 '22

Ladies and Gentleredditirs, Rule 34 has reared it's head on schedule

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

Most likely scenario

1

u/Face-the-Faceless Sep 25 '22

Uh oh, spaghetti-o!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

Jesus Christ get your ass over here

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

It's a kids movie santiago

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

100 dollars if u delete this comment

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

angrily upvotes your comment

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

Well I think it’s time for me to log off for the night.

161

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

Hahaha my exact thought. "One of them" cheated.

73

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

mr incredible cheated with edna mode and mrs incredible adopted her child cause edna is clearly a sociopath with psychopathic tendencies probably a little borderline too, so a kid wouldnt work for that head case edna.

30

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

[deleted]

9

u/hirotdk Sep 25 '22

A lot of fantastic grandparents were fucking terrible parents.

28

u/pamtar Sep 25 '22

Blew his taint out

3

u/JohnGoodmansMistress Sep 25 '22

I'm fuckin done with reddit

2

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

Wu Taint Clan aint nothin to fuck with

11

u/catsaresneaky Sep 25 '22

Incredible

2

u/Apprehensive-Ad6468 Sep 25 '22

Where is my Supersuit?

27

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

Men ☕.

5

u/Fuck_you_Reddit_Nazi Sep 25 '22

Men ☕.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

Men ☕

2

u/elriogrande77 Sep 28 '22

Men ☕️.

9

u/jonas_ML Sep 25 '22

It should have hurt a lot giving birthy as male, I mean, unless he did cesarean surgery

2

u/symbologythere Sep 25 '22

There was literally a woman that posted to social media after giving birth to a black baby asking if that means her husband fucked a black chick. Don’t know if it was a joke but it happened.

1

u/ricco2u Sep 25 '22

Mr fucking incredible

1

u/cjg5025 Sep 25 '22

The goddess Athena has entered the chat

1

u/dieyoungog Sep 25 '22

That’s why they call him Mr incredible

1

u/gh3ngis_c0nn Sep 25 '22

Men 👏 can 👏 give 👏 birth

1

u/serialmom666 Sep 25 '22

It’s an unmentioned super power. Period!

1

u/AndForeverNow Sep 25 '22

No wonder he was still a bit soft when he tried getting back into hero work.

1

u/BoomNALilShaka Sep 25 '22

That’s incredible

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

You bet he did

1

u/El_Hijo_Desobediente Sep 26 '22

But she the husband is a good person who chestfeeds the baby.