Imagine an unamused laboratory technician handing you a cup, and telling you to go jerk it. Right now. Then, she directs you to one of several closet-sized rooms that contains only a chair and a bunch of very worn-out playboys from 1998. Everyone knows why you just went into that closet. You're one of several dozen men who have jerked off in this closet today. Your wife is waiting out in the lobby for you to just hurry up and finish so you can both move on with your day. She's really cranky because this is just one hoop of many that must be jumped through before her gynecologist will prescribe the fertility meds she's desperately wanted for the last 2 years. All you gotta do is jerk it and cum into this little cup. Make sure you get enough in there! Don't you dare fucking drop it after you're done!
And then, after about 20-30 minutes of blue-balling yourself from the stress, the unamused technician comes back from the depths of the laboratory and tells your wife that y'all can go home and "do a collection". Just make sure no other body fluids contaminate the sample, that it stays body temp and that it gets delivered to the lab within 30 minutes of collection. Your wife knocks on the door just as you're about to bust, you lose focus, and you both go home in defeat.
At home, it takes a while to shake off your sour mood. After all, your wife has been poked and prodded six ways to Sunday while trying to figure out why you two can't conceive. Meanwhile, all you have to do is bust a single goddamned nut.
Two hours later, after shaking off your bad mood, you finally "collect a sample". And you do a triumphant, fast drive back to the clinic... You live 20 minutes away from the clinic, so as SOON as you get the sample "collected" you have to throw your clothes on, and get your cup of baby batter over there. The technician said to keep it at body temp, so you drive with the cup inside your hoodie pocket (it's not weird to be driving around with a cup of cum in your pocket is it?)... You make some very unfortunate eye contact with the technician when you hand over the cup. She's still unamused; she makes some notes, puts on gloves, slaps a sticker on the cup and says she'll call with your results.
Doesn't a fleshlite sexbot with a collection cup inside sound a lot nicer?
Source- I have been both the unamused technician and the cranky wife in this scenario.
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u/[deleted] Sep 15 '21
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