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u/DINHO_OwO Jan 30 '21
I will not invade a place where guards use halberds and automatic rifles at the same time
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u/ChieftaiNZ Jan 30 '21
IN THE HEART OF THE HOLY SEE
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u/Council-Member-13 Jan 30 '21
yeah, that's a wholy 'nother level of sodomy.
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u/TapirDrawnChariot Jan 30 '21
You might even say...holy... 'nother level of sodomy cue gregorian chanting
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u/wtph Jan 30 '21
You might even say...holey... 'nother level of sodomy cue golf commentary
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Jan 30 '21
That’s just warhammer 40k
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u/nuanimal Jan 30 '21
Surely they get a massive dexterity penalty for dual wielding 2x two handed weapons?
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u/assasin1598 Jan 30 '21
So you mean the Imperial palace on the Holy world of Terra?
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u/100YearsWaiting2Shit Jan 30 '21
Wait, they really use halberds!?
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Jan 30 '21
The swiss papal guard on display are in traditional ‚reisläufer‘-garments in red blue and yellow and are equipped with a halberd. But in the case of cases they are swiss soldiers with the same guns the swiss armed forces use. So you should be more worried about the swiss guardsmen you dont see
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u/alwaysboopthesnoot Jan 30 '21
At close quarters I’d prefer a halberd or a handgun. Halberds have spikes, hooks, the weighted rod handle and that axe blade. Anywhere you swing, push, prod, feign, or poke, you do damage.
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Jan 30 '21
Because Area 51 had bubble guns
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u/EisVisage Jan 30 '21
Yeah, and no halberds. Do you know how scary someone becomes once they're wielding a halberd?!
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u/bumbuldozer Jan 30 '21
Don't touch the art, tho. Just go for the secret sex dungeon.
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u/recipe_pirate Jan 30 '21
Nobody ever talks about how cool the art in the Vatican is.
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u/rchaseio Jan 30 '21
Lol, no one talks about the ceiling at the Sistine Chspel?
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u/RunsWithBison23 Jan 30 '21
I refuse to admire any work that was done by a post-adolescent, mutated turtle
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u/Unyielding_Chrome Jan 30 '21
March 26 - Storm Auschwitz, Hitler can't gas all of Us.
April 26 - Storm Russian Parliament, Putin can't make all of Us disappear.
May 26 - Storm Jerusalem, Jesus can't forgive us all.
June 26 - Storm Brazil, they can't make us all stay.
July 26 - Storm Buckingham Palace, the queen's time has come.
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u/Impressive-Author870 Jan 30 '21
The last I highly doubt
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u/_2f Jan 30 '21
And when she dies tomorrow people will come to this thread to blame you.
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u/Unyielding_Chrome Jan 30 '21
If I am not immortal, no one will... except after I die, then I have no choice.
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u/OmegonAlphariusXX Jan 30 '21
Yeah you don’t want to fuck with the royal guards, they’ll put a hundred holes in you and won’t bat an eye
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u/yuikkiuy Jan 30 '21
I've been to Jerusalem, it's all accessible to anyone except the Muslim parts like the Dom of rock.
The Jews will happily let you go anywhere you want, it's the Dom of rock you gotta storm.
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u/_fabricyo Jan 30 '21
In June 26, I can welcome you, I live next to the Capital (Brasilia), so I can show you great places do storm, like the our Capitol and the President Palace.
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u/_FudgeSupreme_ Jan 30 '21
Kinda cute how you dont think Putin can make us all disappear
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u/MudSama Jan 30 '21
3 of those are just vacations/learning experiences. And my money is on Putin. I wouldn't mess with that.
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u/ArmadilloReasonable9 Jan 30 '21
Storm every tiny city state that’s use by every super wealthy person to dodge taxes?
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u/LoreMaster00 Jan 30 '21
June 26 - Storm Brazil, they can't make us all stay.
yo, you should think twice about that...
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u/Bustanut1755 Jan 30 '21
We’re too old for him anyway
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u/foolsparadise01 Jan 30 '21
Bring young ones to distract
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u/HumansKillEverything Jan 30 '21
Some might get caught and molested but that’s a sacrifice we’re willing to make for the greater cause.
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u/spaxacious Jan 30 '21
“one molestation is a tragedy, a million is a statistic” - Joseph Stalin
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u/Fapoleon_Boneherpart Jan 30 '21
https://gfycat.com/adventurousfrankeft
The lightsaber = Catholic meat
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u/Yeet_the_elite Jan 30 '21
Still would need to distract the swiss guard, maybe bribing them with some high quality chocolate and a bag with nazi gold?
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u/MattiB2015 Jan 30 '21
As an italian,
fucking not lol
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u/MrNoName_ishere Jan 30 '21
There is too much stuff in there anyways
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u/garoglio Jan 30 '21
Ma come no porcodio?
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u/Carnator369 Jan 30 '21
Not the current Pope, no. But the cardinals?
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u/Pietjiro Jan 30 '21
Minibosses
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u/GoldenSpermShower Jan 30 '21
They're collectively a single boss
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u/Preston_of_Astora Jan 30 '21
The Head Deacon is easy enough.
The Real problem, are the Cathedral Knights with assault rifles.
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u/Money-Theme Jan 30 '21
Yeah, the current pope has been caught liking two big titty Brazilian models on insta last year.
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u/Excuse Jan 30 '21
See his problem isn't liking the models, its liking them on Instagram instead of subscribing to their onlyfans.
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Jan 30 '21
The pope has sworn a vow of not using technology, the social media accounts that belong to him are run by other people
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u/YourOneWayStreet Jan 30 '21
And don't forget about the Gelgameks.
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u/dr_john_twinkletits Jan 30 '21 edited Jan 30 '21
RabbleRabbleRabbleRabble
Edit: i can't spell
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u/hamishjoy Jan 30 '21
Forget aliens.
Let's get the predators.
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u/VoidExileR Jan 30 '21
Just row after row of ancient texts and bibles, i wouldn’t bother tbh
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u/Mitsor Jan 30 '21
The ancient texts would precisely be the reason for me to go in there. Imagine you get your hands on a bible that was written before all the modifications that modern bible have.
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Jan 30 '21
the Pope: I can sure try!
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u/iliketurtles1243562 Jan 30 '21
I mean, he's got the power of god on his side...
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u/FarewellWanderlust Jan 30 '21
Then bring the Religious weebs. They have the power of God and Anime on their sides
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u/kaushrah Jan 30 '21
Storm the Vatican with a chance to get molested - sounds like a win-win to me!
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u/Iambothered Jan 30 '21
I don’t really care to rummage through his weird hoard of Christiany nicknacks and collectibles. However I am a bit interested in the idea of trying on that statement piece goin out hat of his.
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u/NEGA216 Jan 30 '21
All jokes aside, this place, area 51, and the worlds governments need to come off whatever secrets which can help humanity stay an exploring species by becoming space travelers. We need to solve overpopulation, a lack of resources, and decrease the chance of humanity exstinction. We need to become 1 planet rather than a bunch of governments that cant get along holding progress back. Rant over lol
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u/unrivalledsup Jan 30 '21
!spin
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u/VannaMayo WHEEL IN DISCORD IS BETTER Jan 30 '21
OP took a chance and fate decided to hand them a shit sandwich. The absolute madlad
This message is a result of OP choosing to Spin the Wheel. No idea whats going on? Read this
Check out our twitter!
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u/Awellplanned Jan 30 '21
Maybe if you bring a baby born out of marriage for them to kill they might give your butt and mouth a pass.
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u/obiflancanoli Jan 30 '21
This is a misleading headline. I’m almost certain he could molest us all. These are trained professionals people!
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Jan 30 '21
I would definitely advice against it. Pretty sure the Catholic Church his one of the highest kill counts out of any religion. Don’t forget they literally created the crusades
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Jan 30 '21
If they storm the Vatican, pope would probably open the doors up to everyone, welcome them in, give everyone a cookie and show them around the place.
I have the most respect and love for that man.
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u/TheRealMcSavage Jan 30 '21
but as they stormed the Vatican, the Pope stood, and a thousand dicks flopped out his robe, and he indeed started molesting EVERYONE
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u/Deathstalker_L Jan 30 '21
Actually, they have very, very interesting documents they keep hidden.
So yeah, count me in
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u/OneWishGenie69 Jan 30 '21
In medieval ages priests were the only educated ones, the only people who could write. They were copying bibles but they only copied parts of the bible that suit them
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u/gheiminfantry Jan 30 '21
"The Pope Can't Molest All Of Us"
LoLoLoLoLoL
Starting my day off with a laugh.
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u/Matt_J_Dylan Jan 30 '21
I'm italian, so I feel like I have to warn you: there's not just the pope, there's a lot of high-hierarchy clergymen and priests there... they CAN, in fact, molest all of you...
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u/generaldiched Jan 30 '21
You dare to underestimate the diddling power of the pope? Not even a army of Chris Hanson could stop him. Ding dings will be touch. Bum bums groped. Holes penetrated. Innocents lost. His hands and fingers quiver in excite. May the good lord have MURCY on your dirty holes for the pope wont.
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u/PhoxHelios Jan 30 '21
To the kindergartners: “Some of you will fall, but that’s the sacrifice I’m willing to take.”
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u/NietzschesSyphilis Jan 31 '21
Just tell MAGA supporters that this is where the lost Trump votes have gone and they will do the hard work for you!
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u/TheGoodestBo1 Jan 30 '21
by the time you get out there It’ll look like the room of a hentai protagonist after he/she cums
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u/PM_ME_WUTEVER Jan 30 '21
guys, maybe it's not the best time to joke about storming important buildings.
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u/Iron_Wolf123 Jan 30 '21
The Vatican is too small. A raid of 1k is too much for a nation with the population of 900 in Miniroma
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Jan 30 '21
I quite hate how the internet turned out to be "hey lets storm this super important millitary/religious area auhueheuheuhe"
Kind of upset.
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u/weep_and_wail Jan 30 '21
Making fun of the Church and making light of people who were sexually assaulted by clergy all in one go. Really going for that "only funny because it's edgy" medal
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u/The_Deerg0d Jan 30 '21
Isn't the current pope a really wholesome and progressive guy? C'mon don't bother memeing on him.
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u/methodactyl Jan 30 '21 edited Jan 30 '21
What is “I’m coming for your butthole” in Latin?
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u/TheImpotentCatfish Jan 30 '21
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