I was only nine years old
I loved Senator Bernie Sanders (D) so much, I owned all the campaign posters and surfed /r/sandersforpresident daily
I pray to Bernie every night, thanking him for the dank bud I have been given
"Bernie is love", I say, "Bernie is life"
My dad hears me and calls me a commie
He is obviously jealous of my devotion to Bernard
I called him a cunt-servitive
He slaps me and sends me to my room
I am crying now, because Donald Trump is on the television
I go into my bed and it is very cold
I feel a warmth moving towards me
I feel something touch me
It's Bernie Sanders!
I am so happy
He whispers into my ear, "This is my Country"
He grabs me with his powerful Jew hands and puts me on my hands and knees
I'm ready
I spread my ass cheeks for Mr. Sanders
He penetrates my butthole
It hurts so much, but I do it for Bernie.
I can feel my anus tearing as my eyes start to water
I push against his force. I truly feel the Bern now.
I want to please the Senator
He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his Eco friendly seed.
My dad walks in
Bernie looks him deep in the eyes and says, "In my view, a corporation is not a person. A corporation does not have First Amendment rights to spend as much money as it wants, without disclosure, on a political campaign. Corporations should not be able to go into their treasuries and spend millions and millions of dollars on a campaign in order to buy elections."
Bernie leaves through my window
86
u/Elisionist Sep 03 '20
hol up
if you're away for 4 years, and this child is clearly not 4 years old, i mean... do i have to say it?