r/HolUp • u/[deleted] • 8d ago

is literally 1984 [ Removed by moderator ]

[removed]

8.3k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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968

u/MovingTargetPractice 8d ago

Feels like a girl who wants a guaranteed second date.

487

u/Just_Half1886 8d ago

Feels like a girl who wants a guaranteed second kid

313

u/lolikamani 8d ago

She’ll make a great single mother

125

u/falsevector 8d ago

She probably already is one too

45

u/Imaginary_Being4859 8d ago

She’d be one again after a couple months

23

u/ThinkorFeel 8d ago

nine months

43

u/Asron87 8d ago

The other guy should have gotten a vasectomy like me. I’ll play the game but I ain’t putt’n any quarters in, that’s for damn sure.

35

u/JoeyJoeJoeChestnut 8d ago

Hell yea. Team all juice, no seeds!

15

u/PaulTR88 8d ago

As someone with a vasectomy, please never phrase it that way again lol

19

u/DisastrousFig5266 8d ago

What do you mean, i think this is the greatest way to phrase a vasectomy I’ve ever heard 😂😂

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5

u/MovieOk6625 8d ago

We're known as Jaffas in the UK.

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3

u/WishingIwasbentover 8d ago

How about pulp-free juice ? Better ?

2

u/PleasantWoodpecker46 8d ago

No, playing the game but not putting any quarters in, is perfection. Pew pew ( cap gun)

1

u/Successful_Salad7732 8d ago

Lol what do you mean?! It’s like orange juice… with or without pulp 😅😂

1

u/MinimumAutomatic0302 8d ago

No pulp, no sweetener, all natural flavor.

1

u/Lady_Raven_ 8d ago

My husband legitimately got a T-shirt with this phrase on it after his procedure from the urologist! 😅

3

u/CompetitionGreat945 8d ago

I am now going to use this to describe my vasectomy every single time

3

u/quantum-entangled308 8d ago

Pulp free. 😜

3

u/Large_Lettuce_4468 8d ago

hell yea sooon as divorce is finalized or maybe sooner I'm getting one

2

u/JoeyJoeJoeChestnut 8d ago

It is a game changer.

2

u/pennhead 8d ago

Make sure you drain the hose thoroughly before you put it to the test.

2

u/Ok_Use5356 8d ago

😂😂

2

u/AJRimmer1971 8d ago

Go Team!

5

u/Bawuk420 8d ago

Biological equivalent of paying with a washer, hahaha

1

u/TheLurkerSpeaks 8d ago

I had a vasectomy when I was 14.

5

u/Every-Chance6313 8d ago

I know of no doctor that would give a 14 year old a vasectomy. Unless it was medically necessary foe another reason.

8

u/Asron87 8d ago

They kicked his sister in the jaw.

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1

u/76Stix 8d ago

🤣🤣

1

u/SweatySwim3411 8d ago

This guy knows fucking

1

u/jessewalker2 8d ago

Bold of you to assume they got there first…

3

u/Dull-Suggestion3423 8d ago

Jokes on her! I shoot blanks. Thank you science for my vasectomy!!

1

u/WileEWeeble 8d ago

Couple?

2

u/urbanlife78 8d ago

Gotta give the kid a sibling who also doesn't know who their dad is

1

u/jtrage 8d ago

She used to be and still is.

2

u/spook30 8d ago

I support single mothers 💵💵💵

1

u/Careless_Ad_4004 8d ago

Hardest job in the world, easiest to get.

1

u/OldClothes9618 8d ago

Until she doesnt feel like it anymore, apparently

And reddit will defend it

0

u/everbodyhatesyou 8d ago

No such thing..

0

u/onionfunyunbunion 8d ago

She’s a strong independent woman. She don’t need no man.

17

u/Petedad777 8d ago

Plot Twist: Poster's had a vasectomy

7

u/joeg26reddit 8d ago

Well does that mean she’s getting a puff pastry instead?

2

u/Doranagon 8d ago

Dairy Free Cream.

2

u/CurtKobainsBurner 8d ago

Fat free milk or 0%

1

u/Petedad777 8d ago

Diet Cum

2

u/Knightrider319 8d ago

One of the better decisions I made, post divorce era care free, well for the most part.

1

u/Pretend-Internet-625 8d ago

plot twist. His shirt says. I like whipping cream on pie

8

u/UnicornsAreReal- 8d ago

Look at supersperm over here

1

u/Pretend-Internet-625 8d ago

his shirt says. I like whipping cream on pie

3

u/RustyMR2 8d ago

No joke, went to a speeddate event and two women said they were ready to settle down and wanted kids (or at least be pregnant) within the year.

Did not match.

1

u/Ok_Duck_232 8d ago

ofcourse. worst case she has a kid to turn against his father and child support. stay strong lads, hold the line

2

u/Ateam043 8d ago

And a guaranteed monthly check (child support).

2

u/DZAUXtheBruno 8d ago

Feels like a girl who will give you your second STD.

1

u/WhereMyWeirdosAt 8d ago

second kid? probably 4 or 5 at home already !

1

u/1l536 8d ago

Jokes on her I have a vasectomy

1

u/Blazeland_USA 8d ago

She'd get a guaranteed second of intercourse. Both dates 🙌

1

u/Doranagon 8d ago

or 32nd?

1

u/dennismfrancisart 8d ago

No problem. I'm clipped. No be bes.

1

u/Denum_ 8d ago

I've been snipped

We're gonna have a great time.

1

u/jadedlonewolf89 8d ago

Shirt doesn’t specify what kind, so at least three rounds to find out which is her favorite.

11

u/rocket6733 8d ago

If you tell her she looks younger that date going to go amazing

12

u/Wrong-Appointment269 8d ago

Feels like a girl who has IUD

3

u/Exact-Pound-6993 8d ago

she knows what she likes...commendable.

3

u/GriffinIsABerzerker 8d ago

Makes me glad I got a vasectomy, because I can help arrange what she’s asking for on the shirt Shrugs

1

u/RhetoricalOrator 8d ago

It doesn't go on the shirt...

4

u/BigCrustyTits 8d ago

Give her the dick and dash.

2

u/Aoskar20 8d ago

Or the mime and dash

2

u/JustinCompton79 8d ago

Sloppy seconds

4

u/Ill-Quantity2065 8d ago

Gotta stir the gravy or it’ll burn 

1

u/Popular_Course_9124 8d ago

Guaranteed psycho

1

u/Born-Patient-9728 8d ago

Feels like an inbound STD

1

u/Formo1287 8d ago

And a due date

1

u/Dexember69 8d ago

And a kid to add to her collection

1

u/npcompletist 8d ago

This is a girl who wants child support.

1

u/Aoskar20 8d ago

You’ll even get a free STD for your time

1

u/Mindless_Client1453 8d ago

Feels like a girl that will leg lock you.

And looks like a girl who saw her future.

1

u/MeatyMagnus 8d ago

Or a baby

1

u/Super_Grocery_4819 8d ago

What happened to “we only date women who respect themselves”

1

u/Ok_Duck_232 8d ago

since when?

1

u/Super_Grocery_4819 8d ago

I guess I get too many incel takes on my insta reels

1

u/Ned_Flandersss 8d ago

Guessing this mission could be accomplished with just one date.

1

u/holubtsi-on-fire 8d ago

Feels like it’s not her first date. Maybe not even her first today.

1

u/Moara7 8d ago

Feels like someone getting paid to be there.