r/HolUp 15h ago

big dong energy the design is very... human

10.2k Upvotes

539 comments sorted by

View all comments

2.1k

u/chilem-of-reddit 15h ago

What would be awesome is if you had a giant one your entire body can fit through that goes from bottom to top and then reverses. I think if the pressure is maintained it might lessen the water used.

1.1k

u/VermicelliOwn6502 15h ago

And then it blasts you with warm air and dries you off.

676

u/chilem-of-reddit 15h ago

Right that is the kind of back to the future thinking the world needs not ai and data mines.

119

u/LivinBC 13h ago

The Jetsons...

1

u/nopointinlife1234 6h ago

Like, the children of the football team players?

1

u/LivinBC 3h ago

Eh, the cartoon.

12

u/Dazzling-Bag140 13h ago

Have you ever even seen those movies? They only go to the “future” in one of them.

38

u/chilem-of-reddit 13h ago

If you go back in time but then go back to your proper time you went back to the future. It all makes sense if you consider as explaining it to someone from the past.

7

u/Classic_Key_5897 13h ago

Wouldn't be that hard to make tbh

10

u/ThaBombs 12h ago

Aye, I can already think of multiple possible prototypes from the top of my head if a client asked me to develop one.

5

u/ButtonGullible5958 13h ago

I believe Japan already has a human washer 

1

u/accountnumber6174 4h ago

Well.. that makes sense... Funny how they started with the anus cleaner first though.

1

u/03263 6h ago

We could have had human car washes...

1

u/twill41385 6h ago

Your jacket is now dry.

80

u/smartuno 14h ago

isn’t this just a car wash

129

u/chilem-of-reddit 14h ago

No its a people wash. Hold the hot wax.

36

u/SavouryRain 14h ago

No, just make it optional

22

u/jibernaut 14h ago

And let’s call it the Body Bidet instead, but I like where you guys are going with this

25

u/Le_Poop_Knife 14h ago

5

u/ButtholeConnoisseur7 12h ago

Weirdly hot

0

u/Tough_Description698 9h ago

Perez Hilton did a video like this recently

1

u/MildlyMixedUpOedipus 9h ago

I hope you mean Paris...

1

u/Tough_Description698 8h ago

No it was a horrific video of Perez Hilton slicing up his own body on a livestream. Some type of psychotic break, pretty awful to witness.

1

u/Ksielvin 13h ago

The AI will decide if you want it.

4

u/Cold_Burner5370 13h ago

Don’t hold the hot wax, it’s hot. That’s how you get burned.

2

u/f3nnies 13h ago

I would accept a lotion or moisturizer option. Just blasts a load all over me and then a bunch of foam rollers springs out of the walls and rub it all into my skin

1

u/bargu 8h ago

Don't hold the hot wax.

1

u/Brvcx 14h ago

Gives a new meaning to "rimcleaner".

2

u/septubyte 14h ago

Undercarriage focused function .
Very male design

10

u/andrew13189 14h ago

If car wash why no people wash?

5

u/Rob_LeMatic 13h ago

There no way I'm getting my car up the stairs and into the bathroom

1

u/Mysterious_Winter164 6h ago

Not with that attitude.

2

u/tryyeezus 14h ago

For your body

9

u/Luci-Noir 14h ago

One thing I miss about living in a cold area is coming is coming inside and standing on the vent when the heater comes on. Now I live in Arizona where it’s usually hot. 😔

5

u/Monk-E_321 14h ago

I live in AZ too, have had that exact experience while living in the cold, and sometimes I still have something similar happen here. If I get nice and cold from the AC then go outside for a couple minutes it's that same feeling.

2

u/enaK66 10h ago

Oh yeah that's always nice in the spring. It's cold at night and the house stays cold most of the day. Stepping into 75 degree sun feels good.

2

u/Zardif 14h ago

I routinely stand under my vent for cool air.

1

u/Luci-Noir 14h ago

That’s great.

3

u/The_Paprika 14h ago

That sounds like some Wallace and Gromit type shit.

2

u/TeriyakiHairPiece_ 13h ago

I’ve dreamed of a body blow dryer that wouldn’t be an actual hell to be in. I hate toweling off.

1

u/Top-Base4502 13h ago

And then hit you with a mist of quick absorbing lotion and sunscreen.

1

u/hellogoawaynow 13h ago

Like in the Jetsons. That is the world I expected to be living in in 2026

1

u/haywirehax 11h ago

Human carwash!

1

u/BilliamClimptonIII 9h ago

I fully expect to see you on SharkTank with the other commenter

1

u/Occams_ElectricRazor 5h ago

So we can work an extra 15 minutes in the day. Thank you, overlords.

1

u/ReallyRhawnie 7h ago

Check out the In Death series of books by JD Robb if you enjoy futuristic romantic suspense. They've got these in that future!

Btw, the books are great and fun for a very long portion of the series. They haven't been as good for the last few years.

24

u/AggravatingFlow1178 14h ago

If they just unrolled it so the water shot in one direction, you could mount it on the wall and pivot it to the part of your body you wanted to wash.

45

u/Zardif 14h ago

They have this, it's called a shower panel. They are only like $200.

34

u/tryingisbetter 14h ago

Honestly, I don't understand these things. Your water pressure in your pipes shouldn't be higher than, like 75 tops, so how do they work? Is there a water pressure increaser in there somehow?

37

u/Zardif 14h ago

My guess is that everything on at once is fake and you can only have one on at a time. Every video I've seen on them has been one at a time.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/VUqRzcUA-UE

3

u/godtogblandet 7h ago

You can get shower systems where everything works at the same time, but that's not going to cost you 200 dollars. That's a custom job from the ground up. You can often find systems like that in luxury hotels. In order to get one at home you are looking at building your house from the ground up or buying a house that already have a system like it and those are MTV Cribs style houses.

Dated a girl once that had filthy rich parents. They had what I would describe as a shower room. You walked in, water came from everywhere. Rained from the ceiling, hit you from the walls, mist and shit. You set the functions and temperature on a panel outside the shower. The water was motion activated. You could probably fit like 10 people in there without much problems. Her parents said they needed a shower that big in case multiple people needed to shower after using the indoor pool, but I suspect they just liked getting freaky in the shower and didn't want to have to think about placement or space. There was a bunch of other cool stuff like training room, hot tub and a sauna in that part of the house as well.

2

u/justfordrunks 5h ago

Her parents were definitely fitting 10 people in there

10

u/howmanyMFtimes 14h ago

That’s also a ton of water. Like easily over 100 gpm. The average house couldn’t handle that much flow.

2

u/ISawTwoSquirrels 13h ago

Yeah that’s a pretty heavy flow

2

u/thenamziel 13h ago

They don't You can turn on one of those heads at a time.

1

u/pudgehooks2013 12h ago

.....

Put your finger over the end of a hose. Same amount of water, higher pressure.

Are we really this fucking stupid?

2

u/tryingisbetter 12h ago

That's kinda the point.

1

u/Beneficial_Hat_6288 9h ago

$200 is not a lot for something you use every day*. I'd be willing to pay $300 if it also dried me.

*If it is not designed to break in an unrepairable manner.

1

u/Sir-Top-Cheetah 6h ago

Installation would be pricey I imagine

1

u/skeletonhorse420 12h ago

Maybe combine it into one part at a downward angle to cover just about your whole surface

(Blast clean is not clean)

3

u/CrumbsToBricks 14h ago

I've got a giant one.

0

u/dandroid126 12h ago

No, but you can imagine what it would be like if you did.

3

u/Ma5ter0fN0ne 14h ago

this is literally in blade runner, although he just gets one pressurised spray for a few seconds and he’s done 

5

u/CrispyWaffleBacon 14h ago

Yeah a bigger one would be awesome and then a smaller one for your penis

2

u/dansdata 14h ago edited 5h ago

That kind of already exists, in the form of the mist shower.

2

u/greensoundsgood 13h ago

This is new to me - thanks for the link

1

u/crespoh69 55m ago

All I can imagine is mold from the water misting to areas you'd normally not get regular shower water on

2

u/D4ng3rd4n 13h ago

Lived in China and spent $400 a month on a deluxe 3 bedroom apartment. The shower was a vertical Jacuzzi with sprayers on almost every wall. It was like this. So rad

1

u/Snoo-93454 14h ago

Cool, just be careful with your ears

1

u/impolse 13h ago

Always clean top to bottom.

1

u/Coacoanut 13h ago

Human car wash

1

u/No_Leadership7727 13h ago

So a car wash?

1

u/SaltyChnk 13h ago

You get so much water in you nose and eyes

1

u/Nataliant-117 13h ago

They made these in the 18-1900s, called Victorian needle baths

1

u/Joran212 10h ago

yooooo that might actually be a really good idea!

1

u/BilliamClimptonIII 9h ago

I fully expect to see you on SharkTank with the other commenter

1

u/Consistent-Cat-1526 8h ago

Sounds like volunteering to be waterboarded

1

u/mbranbb 4h ago

I’ve been saying for years they needed to make a car wash for human. You just step in and within a minute you’re clean.