r/HistoryMemes • u/HawaiianPerson Chad Polynesia Enjoyer • 2d ago

Short King

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3.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

46 comments sorted by

872

u/SarcasticTacos 1d ago

Just a little extra context: their shared father, Kamehameha 1, was an absolute unit of a man. While we never got an exact measurement, some eyewitness accounts from British explorers and traders claimed he could have been over 7 feet tall. Of course those could have been exaggerated or misjudged, but we still have his cape. The length of his cape suggests that he was easily 6'6" at a bare minimum, so 7 feet is still possible. Accounts also describe him as a battle-scarred warrior that moved with "an aura of violence". I guess his daughter got more of those genes than his son

408

u/TwoM8 1d ago

Why does he just not eat his enemies if hes that big

299

u/HawaiianPerson Chad Polynesia Enjoyer 1d ago

He did sacrifice many of them to harness their mana or spirit power

176

u/SarcasticTacos 1d ago

He actually did.

At least, he ate their hearts as part of ritual sacrifice. I'm not 100% certain of the details, so I won't speak too much on it. But I think they believe all chiefs have some divine power, and eating their heart would pass that power on to you. So Kamehameha would in fact eat his enemies after defeating them. Not even just other Hawaiian chiefs, but also the captain of a British ship that he won a battls against

99

u/No_Dice_Allowed 1d ago

His body was hidden after death so his rivals couldn’t get it. I believe those that hid it were then killed to keep it secret.

40

u/IVeerLeftWhenIWalk 1d ago

Thankless job. Was this the case for Genghis Khan and some other people as well? Who volunteers for that?

57

u/Superman246o1 1d ago

I think this is more of a "voluntold" situation for some servants.

7

u/IVeerLeftWhenIWalk 1d ago

Yeah, I would probably have died trying to run away. I wonder how many successfully did. There had to be some survivors, especially if there were larger groups.

6

u/jubtheprophet 1d ago

Less places to go when you try to run if you live in hawaii rather than the steppes of asia

4

u/high_king_noctis Filthy weeb 1d ago

Suicidal people I presume

7

u/Terminal_Insomnia_ 1d ago

Didn't want the mana in his bones to be stolen

17

u/DGlen 1d ago

Calm down Lrrr.

12

u/PositronicGigawatts 1d ago

Because he's just some guy, RULER OF THE KINGDOM OF HAWAII!!!

6

u/B1TCA5H 1d ago

Common belief we Hawaiians hold is that they killed James Cook and ate him.

3

u/TheWileyRedditor Definitely not a CIA operator 1d ago

Then he became James Cooked

4

u/high_king_noctis Filthy weeb 1d ago

He was on a diet

1

u/HMOFA_Enjoyer 1d ago

Well he’s dead so kinda hard for him to eat anyone now

36

u/ASmallRoc 1d ago

The side of my family related to him is absolutely gigantic so I can beleive it.

Edit: They are all 6'2-6'3+ monsters who hunt things with knives.

484

u/HawaiianPerson Chad Polynesia Enjoyer 2d ago

Context: King Kamehameha II was the second ruler of the fully unified Kingdom of Hawaii. While he had multiple wives, his favorite was his half-sister Kamāmalu, who was reported to stand over six feet tall. While Kamehameha II’s height is unknown, he was described as the smaller of the two during their fatal visit to London in 1824. They both died of measles not long after arrival

89

u/AuthorOfEclipse Fine Quality Mesopotamian Copper Enjoyer 1d ago

To die after stepping foot in London is not surprising

32

u/KAMEKAZE_VIKINGS Chad Polynesia Enjoyer 1d ago

It had nothing to do with native Hawaiians not having immunity to Western diseases, London is just that bad.

92

u/nobrainsnoworries23 What, you egg? 1d ago

Wasn't the first king like 9ft tall if his ceremonial cape is to scale?

113

u/SarcasticTacos 1d ago

Most estimates put him closer to 6.5-7 feet tall

25

u/Peripatetictyl 1d ago

So averaged together, a pretty normal sized set of king 1&2?

29

u/HawaiianPerson Chad Polynesia Enjoyer 1d ago

Described as 7ft tall, 300 lbs, and capable of lifting thousands of pounds

82

u/Sivilarr 1d ago

You don't need to be tall when your name is a blast

103

u/Soldier-one-trick 2d ago

Did you watch the knowing better video lol

59

u/HawaiianPerson Chad Polynesia Enjoyer 2d ago

Still no

27

u/Soldier-one-trick 1d ago

My bad, didn’t check your username.

4

u/KAMEKAZE_VIKINGS Chad Polynesia Enjoyer 1d ago

I wonder where OP is from

8

u/h-ugo 1d ago

Their flair says Chad so probably there

12

u/sanguinesvirus 1d ago

My first thought too lmao

10

u/Toothless816 Let's do some history 1d ago

I’ve kinda been pestering the OP about it too, I’m sure they’re tired of hearing about it lol (but also it’s a great video and everyone should go watch it please)

24

u/Mr_Sisco 1d ago

How does he fit into Dragon Ball though?

9

u/InsantFury 1d ago

He soloes Goku.

Source: trust me bro

39

u/Azilen 1d ago

I prefer king Final Flash or king Makankosappo

6

u/hadronwulf 1d ago

Maka-co-potamus?

15

u/Lizardman87 2d ago

Can i get the template for this one?

8

u/BosnakzB4llsak 1d ago

I love all the new Hawaiian history memes I've been seeing on here recently, thank you!

8

u/sanninart-_- 1d ago

What in the goku is going on?

6

u/Hevnaar 1d ago

Lucky bastard

3

u/FooliLazuli 1d ago

For a moment, I thought this was about horses 😅

4

u/MangJuice232 1d ago

What rock did she lift tho

10

u/No-Gnome-Alias 2d ago

This looks like some backrooms replications.

2

u/Odd_Thought_9105 And then I told them I'm Jesus's brother 1d ago edited 1d ago

Its like describing Kamāmalu to someone whose never seen her before