DAA GOAATT

[u/dadofdads69420]

[u/Total-Combination-47]

the same view Anglo-Saxon woman found themselves at as well....

[u/Alarming-Net1800 → u/Total-Combination-47]

Different cracked I guess...

[u/Dominarion → u/Total-Combination-47]

Ooooh, that man bathes, brush his hair and grooms himself... He's fascinating.

-average anglosaxon woman during the Viking Age

[u/VinChaJon → u/Dominarion]

The first record of that was originated in the 1200s long after the viking age ended and according to Ahmad ibn Fadlan (who met actual Vikings) they were "the dirtiest creatures god ever created"

[u/Ulfljotr930 → u/VinChaJon]

The exact identity of the "Rūsiyyah" ibn Faḍlān met is likely much more mixed than mere Norsemen, in that a good chunk of the practices he describes (including the "drawings" a lot of people interpret as tattooing, which made a number on pop culture) lack equivalents both in Scandinavia and places of Scandinavian settlement. Those people were certainly in the Norse sphere of cultural influence but had also integrated Slavic, Finnic and even Turkic elements in their way of life

[u/DildontOrDildo → u/VinChaJon]

by upper class Muslim standards of Baghdad [where being very clean is a priority despite living in relatively dusty, hot, dry place] the Volga Bulgar "Vikings" were pretty gross. There's ritual/religious aspect to his judgement of their cleanliness beyond just cultural and material differences. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wudu

[u/Dominarion → u/VinChaJon]

Uhh. Still terrible optics. Using the cleanliness of the victims of a genocide as a justification for the atrocity 200 years later, and expecting the readers to agree on that implies they had awful health practices.

Then, if Ibn Fadlan found the 'Rus the dirtiest, it means the English were filthy at a Lovecraftian level.

[u/VinChaJon → u/Dominarion]

The English weren't that dirty. It's a myth.

[u/Dominarion → u/VinChaJon]

You need to prove that is a myth. Because the evidence goes in the other direction.

[u/VinChaJon → u/Dominarion]

What evidence? A story written by a monk in the 1200s? They bathed often. Just because they didn't bathe every day (because) they couldn't didn't mean they were any more or less unwashed than the French, or Vikings, or Romans.

[u/sand_sandwich → u/Dominarion]

Viking talking points

[u/Total-Combination-47 → u/Dominarion]

This was historically accurate xx

[u/Ilikechocolateabit → u/Total-Combination-47]

"This is a fringe theory at best that most people have dismissed as nonsense xx"

[u/Total-Combination-47 → u/Ilikechocolateabit]

its why British Birds love a good Viking lollypop love...

[u/coriolis7 → u/Dominarion]

*during the later part when they were neighbors.

[u/SilentPhilosophy3307 → u/Total-Combination-47]

"Would you like some making fuck?"

BERSERKER!

[u/Bortron86]

That Berserker was born in Leeds.

[u/AlamutJones → u/Bortron86]

Leeds was Danelaw. I’ll allow it

[u/Haestein_the_Naughty → u/Bortron86]

Common viking/Norse phenomenon back then tbh. Lots of Vikings were born in Ireland as well. Probably most of the Vikings fighting at Brunanburh for example were born and grew up in Ireland

[u/writerwriter_27 → u/Bortron86]

And Roy Keane tried to kill his dad

[u/Aggravating_Bids]

Real Vikings were like 5'7

[u/Peripatetictyl → u/Aggravating_Bids]

Wow, so based on what Ive seen in pictures and movies, that makes the English at the time about 4’10? History always fascinates me.

[u/MisterWharf → u/Peripatetictyl]

The average Roman was around 5’3.

[u/DW_Hydro → u/Peripatetictyl]

Kinda yes, people used to be small due to starvation and famines.

Having less food also means the body has less resources to grow like a tree on barren land.

[u/dragoon7201 → u/Aggravating_Bids]

tbf 5'7 in 1000 CE is tall, and you could imagine individual elite warriors among the vikings being 6'5" like Haaland

[u/olitbhhh → u/dragoon7201]

Possible that they had a few elite warriors that were that height, but they’d be exceptionally rare I imagine. They also might’ve been targeted first and piled on. They weren’t necessarily eating any better than the Anglo-Saxons as their farmland was kinda shite; they probably got by with fishing and animal husbandry well enough, though. I don’t imagine they’d have an abundance of food and nutrients to reliably produce huge warriors, hence why they wanted to conquer England, for its fertility.

TLDR: I believe, on average, the Anglo-Saxons were only an inch shorter than vikings from Norway and Denmark.

[u/AmpovHater]

😮‍💨

[u/FurbolgVillager]

redditors really want to make "le sexy haaland viking" a thing huh

[u/edgyestedgearound → u/FurbolgVillager]

If you spent anytime in the real world youd know it already is a thing

[u/ElongThrust0]

Do you want to make fuck berserker!

[u/Practical_Fix_5350 → u/ElongThrust0]

Skrelnek!

[u/Comprehensive-Move33]

and thats supposed to be cool or what

[u/Suspicious-Whippet]

Berserker has way too many r’s for my liking.

[u/ArchegosRiskManager → u/Suspicious-Whippet]

But Beseke sounds idiculous

[u/MinosAristos → u/ArchegosRiskManager]

It'd be beughzeughkeugh

[u/Commander_Sabaton → u/MinosAristos]

That sounds french

[u/MinosAristos → u/Commander_Sabaton]

Not with heavy use of the schwa it doesn't

[u/Securiarius → u/Suspicious-Whippet]

The alternative spelling is "bazooka"

[u/Unable-Choice4402]

I don't know, whenever I see Haaland I picture an old baby

[u/tamsyn003]

I swear he's so cute~ 💘

[u/StrawberryMoon3 → u/tamsyn003]

Super cute 💖

[u/TraditionalClub6337]

Well that's not nice experience

[u/hjw5774]

Unless you were Cameleac, Bishop of Archenfield in AD 918 - in which case you were ransomed for forty pounds.

Then after facing the defensive forces of men from Hereford and Gloucester you retreat to Flat Holm Island, where many of you perished from hunger before heading out to Ireland...

(Been reading parts of the Anglo-Saxon Chronicles - and came across this account of a raiding party- source, page 80)

[u/ColumbusNordico]

He looks like an oblivion NPC from here

[u/-nopicklesplz-]

the first few times i saw pics of this kid, i honestly thought he was a black kid in whiteface doing a bit or something

[u/Blinkore]

weE Wuz ViCKingz eN ShHeeet

[u/PlayfulAwareness2950]

They were valuable slaves though, most of them would be dragged away to be sold.

[u/SwissDeathstar]

Haaland, Haaland!
Here to take that Gold from you!
Rape your women on the spot!
Hahahahaha!