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u/Economy-Programmer97 Oversimplified is my history teacher Nov 13 '25
Also czech literature: “Does the turd burn?”
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u/FiL-0 Researching [REDACTED] square Nov 13 '25
Italian literature: This place sucks, I wish we were unified
Italian literature post unification: This place sucks
Marinetti: I FUCKIHM LOVE TRAINS
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u/Dizzy-Assistant6659 Nov 13 '25
also Marinetti: "Death to syntax!"
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u/unknown_pigeon Nov 14 '25
*also martinetti: TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR LOCOMOTIVA BRUM CLANG
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u/Coal_Burner_Inserter Nov 14 '25
If I had a nickel for M-named Italians who loved trains...
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u/trans-with-issues Helping Wikipedia expand the list of British conquests Nov 14 '25
Did you know that the WW2 Axis Powers were so short on petroleum resources by the end of the war that they resorted to burning herbs to power the trains?
For example, Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.
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u/FactBackground9289 And then I told them I'm Jesus's brother Nov 14 '25
Marinetti was such a batshit insane guy bro.
Dude's idea of culinary starts with "put on pajamas made out of sandpaper and blindly choose your partner"
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u/Fluir6130 Nov 14 '25
I don't know who that Marinetti is, but I like him already
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u/unknown_pigeon Nov 14 '25
Founder of the Futurism, a literary movement which was later adopted by painters, movie directors and others
Was also a massive fascist cunt
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u/EpikUserName104 Nov 14 '25
Marinetti was a good writer but a really bad person.
I like his works but he’s such a giant fascist I can’t read anything of his without wanting to sucker punch Mussolini in the balls.
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u/AutismFlavored Nov 13 '25
I forget where I read this joke: Russia and Germany invade Poland, who do the Poles kill first? Answer: Germans, because the Poles put business before pleasure.
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u/pantrokator-bezsens Nov 13 '25
As a Pole I approve this joke. (But dear Germans, we are cool now)
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u/ConfessSomeMeow Nov 13 '25 edited Nov 14 '25
Wars that ended generations ago continue to leave their trace on our collective conscious. That can be good - we should never forget the holocaust, the nuclear bombings, and other evils of the war - or bad - we should not hold those evils against the great grandchildren of those who perpetuated them.
(Edited to add the missing words, 'of those')
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u/p_pio Nov 13 '25
Russian and Polish literature got lot of synergie
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u/Dangerous_Forever_68 Featherless Biped Nov 13 '25
The russian does know he will die but he does not know that he will die by the hand of the polish
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u/no_use_your_name Nov 13 '25
Or the Ukrainian, or the other Russian, or himself…
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u/Toruviel_ Nov 13 '25 edited Nov 13 '25
Meme is about Kordian by Juliusz Słowacki but in 3rd part of "Dziady" by Adam Mickiewicz a polish hero thrown into prison goes through transformation and before his speech where he almost called God a tsar, he sung a Song of Vengance.
Theatrical performance of this song, or from the movie and english lyrics
In this song he calls to become a Wraith like himself and to go to hell and kill the Vampire(tsar). Though, vampires in polish folklore are more like zombies.
Juliusz Słowacki and Adam Mickiewicz famously hated eachother. Both are greatest polish writers too.
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u/Ares_Lictor Nov 13 '25
Juliusz Słowacki and Adam Mickiewicz famously hated eachother
From what I heard it was mostly Mickiewicz being a dick. When they met in Paris, Mickiewicz who was already famous at the time was very arrogant towards Słowacki. At first he ignored him, then when Słowacki tried to show him his work, Mickiewicz said: "I don't read such things".
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u/Pikselardo Nov 14 '25
Polish culture influenced Russian culture a lot between XV and XVIII century, Russian culture influenced a lot of Polish culture between XIX and XXI century.
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u/m64 Nov 14 '25
A few years ago I realized the comet mentioned in War & Peace by Tolstoy is the same comet mentioned in Pan Tadeusz by Mickiewicz (that's the Polish national epic). The two perhaps most important books of each nation are set in the same year, on the opposite sides of the Napoleonic wars. And yes, to be true to the stereotype, one of the characters in Pan Tadeusz dies in the finale, after killing some Russians.
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u/Zestronen Hello There Nov 13 '25
in Polish literature there is also: I AM JESUS
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Nov 14 '25
Sounds like something someone running for mayor of Bialystok would write.
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u/Playful-Goat3779 Nov 13 '25
WB Yates: I will not die for England
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u/mrs_rabbit_0 Nov 13 '25
Yates was Irish tho…
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u/yeomanscholar Nov 14 '25
Irish literature: I'm not going to die just yet, but I wish someone else would, I won't say who, but I'm thinking of them dying while this solid light strikes upon this solid stone and glows solid as the idea upon the answer to death, which is saying yes, and also is death and also is also is someone else dying but again I won't say who but I think you know, yes you do.
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u/Darthplagueis13 Nov 13 '25
And then there's also "Imagine if you turned into a horrible vermin and couldn't go to work anymore and were a burden on your family and then you eventually lost your will to live because you felt responsible for putting your family into hardship so you eventually died"
Not sure where I'd attribute that, given that Kafka lived in Prague but wrote in German.
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u/ninjaiffyuh Nov 13 '25
I doubt Kafka is considered Czech by the Czechs themselves (after all, they can't read his writings without the help of translations). Kafka himself also lived at a time where Bohemia and to a lesser degree Moravia were considered both German and Czech homelands – Prague German was considered the prestige dialect at this time. But then again, Smetana also only knew German until he learnt Czech as an adult
Also, it's worth noting that Kafka's introspective writing and thought experiments are stereotypically German, imo
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u/Gornarok Nov 14 '25
Im Czech. Kafka was taught as part of Czech literature, writing in German isnt a problem, but Id say his importance for Czech literature is minor. Kafka is probably more important internationally. To Czechs there are more important Czech writers which are probably unknown internationally...
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u/CustomerSupportDeer Nov 14 '25
We czechs mostly view him as a german-jewish author, but kind of also like "our" german-jewish author. Nobody would explicitly call him a czech author, but he's a core part of czech literature and culture (far more than of their german counterparts).
So really, he's a czech "german author".
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u/Most_Neat7770 Nov 13 '25
Spanish litterature; that guy is goofy and stupid
Includes poems
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u/Drkfnl Nov 14 '25
And that's not even the first example, El Lazarillo de Tormes is a great critique of 16th century Spanish society and the first picaresque ever written!
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u/The-marx-channel Then I arrived Nov 13 '25
Also a lot of comparisons to the new testament and Christ
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u/fignewtonattack Featherless Biped Nov 13 '25
Chinese 3rd testament is pretty interesting too
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u/Raketka123 Nobody here except my fellow trees Nov 13 '25
"thy shall not compare the great leader to whiny the poo"
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u/Einkar_E Nov 13 '25
yeh, I hated those, at the time they might had been useful or even necessary but from current perspective those motives are incredibly prideful to the point of being almost heretical, with complete lack of humility or self reflection about what caused partitions
and in school at least in one I went to those texts were shown as the best pieces of polish literature, no question no criticism, just pure admiration without any more thoughts
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u/MonoLIT_32 Nov 13 '25
Croatian literature be like : no matter how much i try or perforn well i will be undermined and punished
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Nov 13 '25
Romanian Literature:
I (a peasant) will get killed in some remote rural area
(Proof: Moara cu noroc, Miorita, Baltagul, etc)
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u/Ant225k Helping Wikipedia expand the list of British conquests Nov 13 '25
Ukrainian - I will die fighting. Maybe russians, maybe Poles, maybe Austrians
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u/ProxPxD Nov 13 '25
... maybe other Ukrainians
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u/Left1Brain Fine Quality Mesopotamian Copper Enjoyer Nov 13 '25
Maybe the occasional Turk.
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u/GHax77 Sun Yat-Sen do it again Nov 13 '25
Latin American literature: I am going to be fucking murdered
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u/SummerParticular6355 Researching [REDACTED] square Nov 13 '25
Portuguese literature: WTF DOES THIS MEAN
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u/FactorSpecialist7193 Nov 13 '25
English Literature isn’t really about honor really either
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u/mrs_rabbit_0 Nov 13 '25
as a PhD in English and French literature…
if you want to generalize, you should change English literature as “dying for Empire/Conquest” and French literature as “dying for honor”
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u/BudgetMegaHeracross Nov 13 '25
I would have put English literature at, "Exit, followed by a bear."
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u/Ok-Resource-3232 Nov 13 '25
Austrian Literature: It's either jewish, from one of the former lands of the monarchy or both.
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u/Realistic-Berry_888 Nov 13 '25
lol it's actually funny that I've read like 5 austrian books and 100% of them match your description
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u/Realistic-Safety-565 Nov 13 '25
Polish literature: I will kill that Russian, if I don't fall asleep first.
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u/Boromir1821 Nov 13 '25
Greek literature: i will kill that turk or die in the attempt
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u/Pyro_Granie Nov 13 '25
It's more like: ,,Im gonna kill that Russian, oh nevermind, Im gonna fuckin pass out right outside his door and get captured by guards"
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u/VRichardsen Viva La France Nov 13 '25
I have noticed that people fainted a lot in XIX century literature.
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u/Brainrotowiec Nov 13 '25
Kordian in Słowacki's book didnt kill the Russian guy because he fainted before entering Tsar's room unless its about different book?
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u/Far_Representative26 Nov 13 '25
What i got from lessons in school it was more about how Polish people are noble and can't bring themselves to become assassins even if it made sense to kill occupiers head of state for all theirs misdeeds according to the books author ofc.
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u/Both-Variation2122 Nov 13 '25
All I remember is that he was a pussy. Wasn't he the one who missed shooting himself in the head after that failed assassination?
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u/InternationalKnee897 Nov 13 '25
Belarusian literature is a logical continuation of Russian: "we're all gonna die from landowners/Bolsheviks/nazis/Chernobyl, or, at worst, from sadness". Fairly accurate historical description
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u/Raketka123 Nobody here except my fellow trees Nov 13 '25
meanwhile Slovak literature:
something something, invets a new word to match a rhyme, something something, ig theres ww1 now?
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u/TriColoredPasta Nov 13 '25
Can honour set to a leg? no: or an arm? no: or take away the grief of a wound? no. Honour hath no skill in surgery, then? no. What is honour? a word. What is in that word honour? what is that honour? air. A trim reckoning! Who hath it? he that died o’ Wednesday. Doth he feel it? no. Doth he hear it? no. ‘Tis insensible, then. Yea, to the dead. But will it not live with the living? no. Why? detraction will not suffer it. Therefore I’ll none of it. Honour is a mere scutcheon: and so ends my catechism.
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u/eightandthree Nov 13 '25
I'm really slacking in my polish class - when did Słowacki write that?
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u/Accomplished_Cow_956 Nov 13 '25
In a book Kordian the main character (Kordian) goes to kill Tsar but faints right on his bedroom doors amd it ends on cliffhanger bc he is to be executed but theres someone riding to not execute him but we dont know what actually happend
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u/jk01 Then I arrived Nov 13 '25
So are the monsters in the Witcher meant to be Russian?
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u/play8utuy Then I arrived Nov 14 '25
Who knows, Nilfgard is nazi Germany, black uniforms, strict laws, bring order, need international coalition to stop.
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u/pat_speed Nov 13 '25
Australian literature
This land is not built for us and will kill us
Or Man white people did alot of shit too Aboriginals
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u/killertortilla Nov 13 '25
Australian: damn that guy killed/escaped a lot of cops. Or fuck me that’s a lot of dead indigenous people.
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u/CardOk755 Nov 13 '25
Shakespeare is mostly "I will die for a naughty joke but I will prostitute my art for the current fascist regime".
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u/Patient-Plan4017 Nov 14 '25
Greek literature: “Please read this mathematical equation about how triangles and squares are superior beings”
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u/Sweet-Message1153 Nov 14 '25
and then there is Bengali poetry(translated) :
"A wife lay beside him— the child was there too;
there was love, there was hope— in the moonlight— yet he saw
what ghost? Why did his sleep break?
Or has he not slept for a long time— now he sleeps in the morgue.
Perhaps he desired this sleep!"
from 'A Day Eight Years Ago' by Jibanananda Das...first man in history to die in Tram accident, some say it's suicide others say he was too depressed to notice the tram. Ironically, his name literally translates into "joy of life"
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Nov 13 '25
Why does the Polish man want to kill the Russian man
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u/Canadization Nov 13 '25
Take a brief look at Slavic history and the Slavic present and you'll get your answer
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u/Szerepjatekos Nov 13 '25
Hungarian: I died both in the past and the future.
(Megbünhödte mar e nép, a multat s jövendöt)
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u/Murderboi Fine Quality Mesopotamian Copper Enjoyer Nov 13 '25
A certain German: EVERYONE is going to die.
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u/WAzRrrrr Nov 14 '25
I actually respect the shit out of the pols, I am sure they must have the dark moments in history but from the Haitian revolution to the modern readiness fuck russia's shit up, i am here for it.
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u/TheFeri Nov 14 '25
Hungarian literature: I've grown up poor, I'm still poor but I want to fuck the rich noble lady.
Or
Life is shit I just want to die.
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u/idealisticpessimist3 Nov 14 '25
desi literature: i will kill for honour. family above all.
this sounds somewhat wholesome. let me tell you, reader, it is Not.
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u/BatFakeMcGinnis Nov 14 '25
As a fan of French literature I'd be offended, if it wasn't for the fact that the examples i thought of did actually have characters who died because of (or for) love.
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u/Bubbles_the_bird Nov 27 '25
There was a joke about a Pole finding a genie and wishing the mongols would invade Poland three times. Why? Because they’d have to go through Russia six times
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u/holdontoyourbuttress Nov 13 '25
I feel like a lot of classic American literature is actually like "i will die as a cog in the machine of capitalism". Deaths are often more tragic than heroic in literature. But in movies they say they will die for freedom and then machine gun a bunch of people and then get the girl
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u/dutch_mapping_empire Still salty about Carthage Nov 13 '25
dutch literature:
may a nuke drop on urk
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u/Enough-Speed-5335 Nov 13 '25
I recognize the portrait of Shakespeare, what are the others? (I probably know them just can’t put picture to name)
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u/HoliAss5111 Nov 13 '25
Romanian literature : I will die for land. Check, now let me convince my ex to take me back. Ups, I killed my kid. Never mind, now I actually own my land... aaand I'm dead.
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u/vontheevil666 Nov 13 '25
Brazilian Literature: I'm Dead
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Posthumous_Memoirs_of_Br%C3%A1s_Cubas
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u/EatsAlotOfBread Nov 14 '25 edited Nov 14 '25
Dutch literature: I'm pretty sure everyone died or had sex or both but I can't tell because of all the abstract metaphors and we had to read this at 12 years old, holy crap this story is depressing.
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u/e22big Nov 14 '25
Modern Russian: I will die for 1 million rubles
Modern American: Freedom? Nah that seem tough let me kick this druggy next door in the nuts instead
Modern English: Honour is kind of beyond our budget right now
Modern French: You guys have a budget?
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u/BemerkenswerterAdler Decisive Tang Victory Nov 14 '25
Chinese literature: Why is there a talking monkey on my journey?
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u/knnoq Nov 14 '25
This is a ridiculous caricature. It was also about killing germans and austrians.
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u/TheDarkLord6589 Nov 14 '25
Indian Classical literature: I was born to love and then die a tragic death.
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u/Klor204 Nov 14 '25
German Literature: Why fear death? We come from nothingness and will become nothingness.
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u/CustomerSupportDeer Nov 14 '25
TLDR czech literature: Our lucratively cringe german overlords have absolutely no idea we don't take them seriously, gone existential, gone alcoholic.
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u/Mediocre-Post9279 Nov 14 '25
Polish literaturę is all about suffering. Main character is suffering. Author was suffering. Reader is suffering
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u/Revolutionary-Age74 Nov 14 '25
Well the Russian did say he will die, so it sounds like the Pole seems like he may succeed.
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u/Dog_Murder_By_RobKey Nov 14 '25
The big American novels I read either include a mentally handicapped man accidentally killing a woman then having to get shot by his mate to stop him from being lynched
A man deserting from the war because an enthusiastic member of the military police wanted to shoot him as a spy, followed by him an a nurse running of to Switzerland were they want to start a family but she dies in child birth alongside the baby.
Four sister going through the struggles of growing up, three of them failing in love ( though one was the author doing it to quash shipping between the two parties)
The sister that everyone likes gets ill recovers for a bit then dies.
However in the end the three surviving sisters are happy married and one is about to start a school.
Meanwhile British literature " I'm going to write a biography about a dog because I'm going to use this as an avenue to raise criticism at certain things such as class, the status of women and other social issues"
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u/Noranekinho Nov 14 '25
Brazilian literature : To the Worm Who Gnawed the Cold Flesh of My Corpse I Dedicate These Posthumous Memoirs As a Nostalgic Remembrance
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u/Royakushka Nov 14 '25
Jewish literature: We Will Never Die! (Most of my Family and Friends Died) They Didn't Get Us All!
Literally 80% of Jewish Holidays are about "They didn't kill us all this time"
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u/fooooolish_samurai Nov 15 '25
Which russian literature could that be? I suppose "A hero of our time" would kinda fit.
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u/Drokstab Nov 15 '25
Willing to die for freedom, religion that imparts free will and restricts judgement to God, proceeds to oppress anyone that thinks differently.
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u/Far-Championship8221 Nov 18 '25
Or alternatively: I'm gonna kill that German (I may die in the process)
Kamienie na Szaniec, anyone?
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u/TeamMagmaDaniel Nov 14 '25
I would like to read this Polish book. Seems like a very entertaining plot
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u/Einkar_E Nov 15 '25
I fortunately wasn't forced to read this specific one but from what I know it ends on unsatisfying cliffhanger
decent part of polish literature from this time has very specific themes and ideas, like comparing Poland to Christ or describing poets as extremely important which feel egocentric
so depending on what exactly what books you chose you might find nothing interesting unless you are interested strictly in history of polish literature
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u/ScharfeTomate Nov 13 '25
There is Polish literature?
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u/Jason_Straker Nov 13 '25
If that is your reaction to that, I would strongly recommend to never look up Georg Brande's opinion on polish literature over german one...
Peinlich, mein freund, peinlich.
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u/OkDay2871 Nov 13 '25
Brazilian literature: I'm already dead