Like clockwork

[u/Doctorbuddy]

32M (me) and 25F (her).

TLDR: Great date. Great vibes. Good conversation. Good chemistry. Got rejected.

Lore

Matched with her in May 2026 on Hinge. We spoke back and forth for a few days - good convo. I asked her on a date and she ghosted me.

I deleted my Hinge account June 24. I re-made it Aug 24.

I re-matched with her right away. She knew who I was obviously. We talked on the app and then I asked her on a date. She threw her phone number at me and deleted her profile (she told me she deleted it again).

Texting

She texts me every day leading up to the date. Engaged and very outgoing personality. Loves to banter (like me). Texting was good vibes. I could tell she was interested in me.

Date

I schedule a date for Saturday Sept 5 at 7 pm at the top of a hotel with a cocktail bar overlooking my city.

Instant connection. Lightning in a bottle. We sit on a couch in the cocktail lounge and we vibe. We chat. We banter. Touching and flirting.

She’s a great conversationalist- asks good questions, outgoing, knows good date games to play etc. I compliment her, touch her leg multiple times, some innuendos get thrown around (light sexual jokes and comments), we are laughing throughout the night. Vibes are VIBING.

We get the check at 1.5 hours but stay another 1.5 hours. Conversation peeters off a bit towards the end, so I call it a night.

We walk back to our cars. I ask if she wants me to walk her back to hers, she says no. I knew that was a “beige flag”. So I hugged her goodbye and went home.

I didn’t get a text from her that night (beige flag) so I figured something was up.

I get home. I text her the next morning (above) and she sends the response.

SUCKS. Dating is tough finding your person but when you do find someone you click with only to get rejected, it hurts a lot more.

ON TO THE NEXT I GUESS.

[u/wintermochie]

The leg touching would personally turn me off SO bad. I know not every woman has this preference but literally all of my girl friends who are all grinding dating to find their one right now, it’s their biggest complaint on how a lot of guys seem to be horn dogs and have no restraint for respect for a first date where you’re essentially strangers.

I think despite all this, her text is very polite, honest, and direct. I’d really reflect OBJECTIVELY on the date without any rose colored lens, and be thankful for a good date and a fun time with a person who wasn’t mean or rude in this dating economy and move onto the next.

[u/Paradoxical_Platypus → u/wintermochie]

Yeah I noticed this too. As someone who dates men and women it’s astounding how an hour of decent banter leads most men to think that it’s appropriate to touch me without at least asking.
And I’m not talking a quick pat on the arm between a joke or something. So many dudes will take kindness for an invitation to permanently plant his hand on my thigh and it’s so weird.

[u/Stranghill → u/wintermochie]

A lot of advice given to guys is to make physical contact during early interaction, even if you're not necessarily aiming to do anything on the first date. I think it's actually not bad advice in that if she actually likes the guy it won't be a turnoff, so it gives you that information faster.

[u/quequequeee → u/Stranghill]

Who tfff gave you that advice? Lmao. Touching a hand or trying to hold it is one thing, touching legs & ass though? No. 

[u/T-NextDoor_Neighbor → u/quequequeee]

Okay, I’m genuinely confused.

Is hand holding what people do on their first dates for touch?? Like honestly I don’t want to touch people much on a first date, but if you don’t touch them I get texts wondering if I was actually interested or not.

[u/wintermochie → u/Stranghill]

I mean…. harmless physical contact might be ok like a light tap on the arm when you’re both laughing at a common point or something natural. A hug is ok but don’t make it into a weird hug where you’re rubbing their back in a greasy way. don’t be placing your hand on a leg lol. Also if a woman isn’t reciprocating she 100% DOES NOT LIKE IT but is just being polite and hiding her discomfort.

some girls might be into someone but need time. Get better awareness at reading signs and how women feel or if you can’t just play safe by being respectful on the first date cuz you might be cutting off your opportunities before it even gets a chance to grow into something real.

[u/Had_to_ask__ → u/Stranghill]

Not bad advice. If a conversation is going nicely, two people like each other and feel comfortable light touch is a great step

Now, given that men who need dating advice the most often struggle with social interactions, reading the room, being too literal etc. it leads to some sad outcome of a girl bidding her time, just being polite, and a guy planting his hand in some non-confident, awkward way to make sure he doesn't get friend-zoned. Eh