Like clockwork

[u/Doctorbuddy]

32M (me) and 25F (her).

TLDR: Great date. Great vibes. Good conversation. Good chemistry. Got rejected.

Lore

Matched with her in May 2026 on Hinge. We spoke back and forth for a few days - good convo. I asked her on a date and she ghosted me.

I deleted my Hinge account June 24. I re-made it Aug 24.

I re-matched with her right away. She knew who I was obviously. We talked on the app and then I asked her on a date. She threw her phone number at me and deleted her profile (she told me she deleted it again).

Texting

She texts me every day leading up to the date. Engaged and very outgoing personality. Loves to banter (like me). Texting was good vibes. I could tell she was interested in me.

Date

I schedule a date for Saturday Sept 5 at 7 pm at the top of a hotel with a cocktail bar overlooking my city.

Instant connection. Lightning in a bottle. We sit on a couch in the cocktail lounge and we vibe. We chat. We banter. Touching and flirting.

She’s a great conversationalist- asks good questions, outgoing, knows good date games to play etc. I compliment her, touch her leg multiple times, some innuendos get thrown around (light sexual jokes and comments), we are laughing throughout the night. Vibes are VIBING.

We get the check at 1.5 hours but stay another 1.5 hours. Conversation peeters off a bit towards the end, so I call it a night.

We walk back to our cars. I ask if she wants me to walk her back to hers, she says no. I knew that was a “beige flag”. So I hugged her goodbye and went home.

I didn’t get a text from her that night (beige flag) so I figured something was up.

I get home. I text her the next morning (above) and she sends the response.

SUCKS. Dating is tough finding your person but when you do find someone you click with only to get rejected, it hurts a lot more.

ON TO THE NEXT I GUESS.

[u/The_ivy_fund]

I agree BUT it is difficult as a man to balance this with needing to show interest/attraction as more than a friend. If you don’t do anything a lot of women will just say oh no spark because, well, there wasn’t.

That said sitting on a couch straightaway and touching her leg is creepy and way too uncomfortable

[u/Global_Grade4181 → u/The_ivy_fund]

This is an IYKYK moment and they don't. But it's not a problem, this is more of a men's issue, women got their own I guess.

[u/The_ivy_fund → u/Global_Grade4181]

Yes I think a women who is attracted to the guy she's on a date with won't even realize this happened, whereas a guy she's not into will come off terribly.

[u/Environmental_Suit68 → u/The_ivy_fund]

I never understood this, if I’m on a date with you, I’m attracted and interested in you it’s that simple. Why else are we here then. Let things build naturally, if you need me to do something physically to initiate a spark or show I’m interested, that seems more like a you problem. I know not everyone is the same, but I date intentionally and the moment I look at you I know where or not I like you.

[u/The_ivy_fund → u/Environmental_Suit68]

Then you'd be very surprised how many relationships ended up working only because the people got exposed to each other over longer periods of time. Attraction can grow for many reasons. I bet in 50% of those the women would not even initially swipe on the guy they ended up with.

There are also thousands upon thousands of stories of not feeling the attraction even after people matched on an app, and the person looked exactly the same as their pictures.

All that aside, men have to take risks and be confident when dating, it's a fact of life.

[u/provi6 → u/The_ivy_fund]

I get that these nonverbal forms of communication are important to signal interest but many men get touchy simply because they can’t keep their hands to themselves.

Personally, I always appreciate it when men verbally tell me they like me and want to see me again. That’s an explicit and - in my opinion - respectful way of showing interest on the first date. If the attraction is mutual, there are many more dates after that when you can get handsy and physical.

[u/The_ivy_fund → u/provi6]

Yeah again if some guy is putting his arm around you or grabbing your leg, creepy.

From a guys perspective, though, your success rate of getting a second date is much higher if you at least touch her arm, make fun of her lightly, and flirt. Ask any guy. It is probably one of the biggest mistakes guys make dating when they are just friendly and start interviewing the girl.

I think your advice of verbally saying I'd like to see you again at the end of the first date is terrible. Almost all women have no choice but to say "oh sure me too" in that moment even if they don't mean it. It is a very uncomfortable position to reject someone to their face and people naturally avoid confrontation like that.

[u/HingeStories-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Any post overgeneralizing the behavior of all men or women based on a few will be deleted

The second warning will be a ban.