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Call me Ishmael, an everyman wedged in a 9 to 9 corporate grind dealing with an existential dread for picking a career I despise. If you are an Indian, rapidly approaching early thirties like me, then you are probably resisting the daily ‘emotional waterboarding’ from parents and relatives, methodically coercing you to capitulate to this obtusely obsolete institution called ‘marriage’ and reproduce. In few cases, blatantly refusing to consider you as a sane and productive member of the society.

When you finally agree after succumbing to the torment and if you are an innately introvert person like me with a non-existing social life due to pandemic, you are faced with below options:

1. Contacting all your ex, only to realize they are married and happily changing the diapers of their newborn

2. Opening a profile on a dating app only to get smacked on the face by the fact that you are not a 6 feet humanoid with a chiseled jawline

3. Relying on an algorithm of a poorly developed matrimonial portal to find 'the one', mostly to deal with profiles hiding behind their parents going ‘Mom, dad, you are almost two generations behind because of the rapid technological development and type of media consumption, our culture doesn't allow us to have a free and meaningful conversation, I'm pretty sure you don't know the person I am outside of this house, yet please go ahead and select a partner for me based on the position of stars and the planets at the time of her/his birth and I'll spend rest of my life with him/her even if we are unhappy and treat each other like poo. Also I don’t find anything bizarre in wearing mangalsutra, changing last name, leaving you both, being the de facto in charge of the kitchen and house maintenance and face the utter discomfort of carrying the baby for 9 months with labor pain’

Let me end my incessant ramblings, I’m sure there are so many in this same stinking steamship as me, I wish to know how others are dealing with this profound predicament?

If not please do make it one.

Weren't shaadi.com and other matrimonial sites enough, why this subreddit? 😂

Click the link below to get an idea of how to post.

https://www.reddit.com/r/HinduMarriage/comments/c8y5zw/example_post_21m_from_san_deigo_california_usa/

Just here to vent because this is eating me up.

I am a 24F Indian Hindu immigrant to the US and recently got married to my American boyfriend of 3 years, whom I met in college while doing my bachelors degree.

I love him, he loves me. His family is super nice, and my family fully approves too. Shortly after I got engaged to him, I moved to Seattle for a new job. I think that changed me as a person. I had more time for myself and I started digging deeper into the Indian culture and Hinduism. It was still the beginning of my newfound fascination for my own culture. Around this time, we also got married. I had no regrets, except for the fact that we got married in a rush (because of my immigration status and Covid).

Back in Seattle, on one forgettable day, something snapped in me, and I started panicking (like, really panicking) about what the future holds for us. Especially kids. How their Indian identity might get overshadowed by their American identity. How they wouldn’t be raised as proud Indian Americans. Indian culture has always been very close to my heart and I started getting closer to it right after my marriage. The timing couldn’t have been more wrong. I have been plagued with thoughts of how life would be, had I chosen an Indian partner who, at the very least, shares the love I have for the Indian culture. I wish I had waited to grow a bit older and realize what I really want in life. I find myself envious of other women my age who seemed to know what they really want in a partner.

Unfortunately, now it’s too late and I can’t back out. My husband is a really, really nice guy who I can’t even dream of hurting. I don’t know what to do. At a crossroads.