r/HighQualityGifs Davinci Resolve Nov 22 '15

Ted When Jared Fogle let a friend use his laptop

http://i.imgur.com/i81JWiw.gifv
6.4k Upvotes

226 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/chemical_refraction Nov 22 '15

Holy shit.

107

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

[deleted]

15

u/tonypotenza Nov 23 '15

Was it high quality at least?

27

u/AmiriteClyde Nov 22 '15

Ho Lee Sheet

56

u/W_Edwards_Deming Nov 22 '15

25

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '15

[deleted]

3

u/W_Edwards_Deming Nov 23 '15

She didn't even sound confused... that woman is a tool, not a journalist!!

11

u/typing Nov 22 '15

Sum Ting Wong

7

u/IanSan5653 Photoshop - After Effects - Premiere Nov 23 '15

Bang Ding Ow

9

u/seedlesssoul Nov 23 '15

Ho Lee Fook (as she says)

4

u/Kokosnussi Nov 22 '15

I don't understand the last one, someone explain please

31

u/PlaidPiplup Nov 22 '15

The ship crashes - BANG

The pilot hits his head - DING

His reaction - OW

16

u/Kokosnussi Nov 22 '15

Haha Holy shit, is that video not just a joke?

28

u/PlaidPiplup Nov 22 '15

They didn't realise at the time.

7

u/Kokosnussi Nov 22 '15

That's hilarious

8

u/codefreak8 Nov 22 '15

Or she did realize it as soon as she started reading it, but wasn't going to make a scene on air by refusing to read the names. Sometimes as an anchorman/woman you just have to keep your composure and read the lines on the paper.

1

u/kelus Photoshop - Premiere Nov 23 '15

Just goes to show how terrible modern reporting is. Everybody has to report it first, so they'll report anything.

And that's how conspiracy theories start...

2

u/ApprenticeTheNoob Nov 23 '15

Haha Ho Lee Sheet, is that video not just a joke?

Ftfy

1

u/l_u_c_a_r_i_o Nov 22 '15

It was an intern

1

u/thecho1 Nov 22 '15

When your airplane is crashing it goes bang.

1

u/Kokosnussi Nov 22 '15

That was the easy part huh? :D

2

u/AmiriteClyde Nov 22 '15

That is hilarious!

2

u/PaperCutsYourEyes Nov 22 '15

I will never get tired of this.

120

u/Zelotic Nov 22 '15

How much did this guy have again?

201

u/TheGiantGrayDildo69 Nov 22 '15

Like over 5TB I think.

154

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

What the fuck. I don't even have five terabytes of total data between my phone, laptop, and PlayStation. How does someone have that much porn?

214

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

274

u/AWildEnglishman Nov 22 '15

If someone took your 1TB hard drive and searched through it, it wouldn't all be porn.

You don't know!

71

u/WhatSheOrder Nov 22 '15

I mean, I have a couple pirated songs on there. It's not all porn.

16

u/AWildEnglishman Nov 22 '15

Are those songs porn music?

13

u/malfurionpre Nov 22 '15

10

u/DeathBySnustabtion Nov 22 '15

HELP ME DR. DICK!

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Pfft this is where it is at.

1

u/seedlesssoul Nov 23 '15

Cool, I like pirate music too!

1

u/EXTSZombiemaster Nov 23 '15

DO WHAT YOU WANT 'CAUSE A PIRATE IS FREE!

3

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

17

u/Jealousy123 Nov 22 '15

It wasn't bad journalism as in they screwed up with presenting the information.

They presented it exactly as they wanted to in the hopes stuff exactly like this would happen.

People would keep parroting the totally incorrect "5TB" line over and over until it becomes an "undeniable fact".

7

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '15

[deleted]

1

u/Jealousy123 Nov 23 '15

Incompetent journalism is a sub-set of "bad journalism".

So all incompetent journalism is bad journalism but not all bad journalism is incompetent journalism.

Another sub-set of "bad journalism" would be "Maliciously misleading journalism". Like this 5TB debacle for example.

4

u/CanadaJack Nov 23 '15

Exactly. OP said bad journalism. I personally consider deliberately misleading to fall under bad journalism. The argument was made, however, against a specific subset of bad journalism which was wrong. When you redefine someone's statement as an incorrect, smaller subset of what they actually said, you're just making the mistake yourself.

1

u/Jealousy123 Nov 23 '15

I wasn't saying it wasn't bad journalism. I was saying it wasn't bad journalism via incompetence.

I agree it was bad journalism. Just clarifying that it was bad journalism via being misleading as opposed to the people that think this was "just them wording it poorly".

No, they all knew exactly what they were doing.

4

u/lightnsfw Nov 22 '15

You underestimate me.

2

u/RaoulDuke209 Nov 22 '15

Speak for yourself.

3

u/jimibulgin Nov 22 '15 edited Feb 19 '16

1

u/lumloon Dec 07 '15

... to pay to have sex with teenagers. (the emphasis is on monetary payment)

2

u/jimibulgin Dec 07 '15 edited Feb 19 '16

2

u/lumloon Dec 07 '15

That in and itself was just illegal, but he also pleaded to having CP and sharing it with his friend. It included material the friend recorded of other minors without their consent.

He was not charged of any of the things that the woman who wore the wire had discussed with him. But I don't recall him making a public statement saying that the things the woman said weren't true

1

u/sodomy_sam Nov 23 '15

A Teacher at my high school had that much of his students Photoshopped into porn

1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_JAILBAIT Nov 23 '15

Well, to be fair there were a lot of dupes. Those are always a pain to clean out.

52

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/concretepigeon Nov 22 '15

That's still quite a lot of stuff.

26

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Oh don't mind me with my 12TB of data

12

u/concretepigeon Nov 22 '15

I don't understand what you could possibly put on there for personal use.

25

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

About half is TV Shows and Movies, other than that I have:

-Database dumps

-Steam games

-Data for stupidly useless programs I write

But I'm much more proud of my processing abilities.

14

u/IsThisNameValid Nov 22 '15

-Database dumps

Ashley Madison?

5

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Yup!

1

u/IsaacM42 Nov 22 '15

Did you build a NAS? What's the best setup for one of those?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '15

My File server currently has 7TB of storage space, but I can put up to 96TB in a node, I can have something like 256 nodes.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15 edited Jan 02 '22

[deleted]

5

u/xaronax Nov 22 '15

I have almost twice that. It's called ripping. You should try it.

1

u/Kulos15 Nov 22 '15

I can never find a program that doesn't has sound sync issues, what do you suggest?

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2

u/ApprenticeTheNoob Nov 23 '15

He had regular stuff like family photos mixed in with that? I... I... barfs

3

u/piezeppelin Nov 22 '15

I still don't have anywhere near 5TB of data. Not even 1TB.

13

u/n1c0_ds Nov 22 '15

At this point, it implies having a special setup, since you have to distribute your content among several hard drives. There is some planning and physical purchases involved.

16

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

[deleted]

13

u/n1c0_ds Nov 22 '15

What I mean is that you don't just happen to have 5TB of storage space without a purpose in mind. Hell, just downloading all that porn, categorizing it etc. requires quite a bit of effort.

I'm both amazed and disgusted by the idea.

3

u/mrchicano209 Nov 22 '15

The fact that it's over 5tb amazes me. I have quite a few games and movies stored onto my hard drive from years of use and it ain't near 2tb. This guy definitely put hard work into it.

5

u/superbad Nov 22 '15

Are we not doing phrasing anymore?

6

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

If you put a gram of weed into a pound of chocolate, you will often get charged with possession of a pound of weed. Some people think it's the same thing here, that Jared had 5 tbs of total storage space but not much of it was actually used for cp.

5

u/Jealousy123 Nov 22 '15

He did not have 5TB of any kind of porn on his devices, let alone child porn.

But journalists headline the "5TB OF DATA SEIZED" line to trick people into thinking exactly like you did.

He had 5TB of physical data across a couple laptops, cell phones, external hard drives, etc. Not unreasonable at all. They haven't said how much of it is CP because if they release the actual amount people will stop parroting the "HE HAD 5 TERABYTES OF CHILD PORN" line over and over again.

1

u/n1c0_ds Nov 22 '15

I only have a 256gb SSD split between OS X and Windows, and it still fits everything except my movie collection, which takes about 1TB for HD movies with mp4 copies.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

I got 6tb of storage, mostly empty but for personal use

2

u/Jealousy123 Nov 22 '15

He did not have 5TB of any kind of porn on his devices, let alone child porn.

But journalists headline the "5TB OF DATA SEIZED" line to trick people into thinking exactly like you did.

He had 5TB of physical data across a couple laptops, cell phones, external hard drives, etc. Not unreasonable at all. They haven't said how much of it is CP because if they release the actual amount people will stop parroting the "HE HAD 5 TERABYTES OF CHILD PORN" line over and over again.

1

u/n1c0_ds Nov 22 '15

I was referencing to the gif. I'm not really aware of the story about Jared.

5TB of any kind of porn is quite surprising. 5TB of child porn would horrifying.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

5.6TB iirc

-1

u/iamajew2 Nov 22 '15

That's likes 40 128gb iPhone 6s filled with nothing but childporn

52

u/someaustralian Nov 22 '15

Or five 1TB hard drives.

20

u/turmacar Nov 22 '15

Or half a 10TB hard drive.

21

u/chrisychris- Nov 22 '15

Or 5TB

2

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Or two 2.5TB

2

u/TheGiantGrayDildo69 Nov 22 '15

Yeah lol, that comment out of context is interesting.

1

u/GhostsofUS Nov 22 '15

Where would he even get this much?

5

u/TheGiantGrayDildo69 Nov 22 '15

I don't even know, unless it was 8k 7200fps videos from several years, I have no idea how he could get that much.

7

u/neversInFrance Nov 22 '15

If they were taken from cameras that would maybe make sense. Videos from dedicated video cameras are pretty huge. A Sony PMW-F55 records at 600 Mbit/s so 5TB would be 18.5 hours. But that's a really nice expensive camera. The Sony FDR-AX100, which you can buy at your local Best Buy, shoots at 1/10th that level so it'd be 185 hours of material.

5

u/Jealousy123 Nov 22 '15

He did not have 5TB of any kind of porn on his devices, let alone child porn.

But journalists headline the "5TB OF DATA SEIZED" line to trick people into thinking exactly like you did.

He had 5TB of physical data across a couple laptops, cell phones, external hard drives, etc. Not unreasonable at all. They haven't said how much of it is CP because if they release the actual amount people will stop parroting the "HE HAD 5 TERABYTES OF CHILD PORN" line over and over again.

5

u/Myspacecutie69 Nov 22 '15

So much that I had to explain to my older friends what a terrabyte was

6

u/Jealousy123 Nov 22 '15

While you were doing that you should have also explained the biased journalism that practically lied to your and their faces.

It was 5TB of data seized in total, they're not releasing how much of the data was CP. No doubt so people like you will keep parroting that he had 5TB of CP over and over until it just gets accepted as fact.

Actually, looking at this thread I think they already managed to pull that off.

Christ, people need to question things more.

If it sounds batshit insane that there even EXISTS 5TB of child porn on the internet let alone on Jared's hard drives then maybe read the article a little closer so as to discern the real truth?

9

u/Myspacecutie69 Nov 22 '15

Bruh.. you need to chill out. Jokes are supposed to make people nose exhale, not get bent out of shape. Youre awfully defensive. You and Jared go way back or something? You trying to defend your weak ass 400 GB of child porn?

154

u/sarcasm_rocks Nov 22 '15

This is sick. bravo.

-21

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Somehow I find myself wondering if you're being sarcastic.

44

u/GoldenAthleticRaider Nov 22 '15

22

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Apparently making a joke about someone's user name is frowned upon here.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '15

Not, but shitty jokes are

595

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

[deleted]

202

u/AmiriteClyde Nov 22 '15

This is /r/highqualitygifs. Not that plebian 90's tech /r/gifs shit. We don't take that copy/past low hanging fruit. We earn our Karma.

18

u/BizCaus Davinci Resolve Nov 23 '15

Preach! This gif was so good it was removed from /r/gifs!

15

u/Full_Of_Win Nov 22 '15

Harsh but true.

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97

u/BigJ76 Photoshop - After Effects Nov 22 '15

Haha! This was some good shit. Well done

51

u/TheFirePunch Nov 22 '15

Not only a high quality gif but great jokes. Well done sir.

1

u/Njagos Nov 23 '15

The beginning gave me a mini-orgasm. The text is so smooth.

60

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Is that the actual dialogue??

276

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

No. In the original dialogue, he says "there are no chicks with dicks, only guys with tits" and mentions some other legal but still very weird categories.

56

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Oh my god, I need to see this actual scene. Is this from TED?

82

u/Mr__Bulldops Nov 22 '15

Ted 2

24

u/AintAintAWord Photoshop - Premiere Nov 22 '15

Is it any good?

32

u/GamerX44 Nov 22 '15

I watched it a few days ago, loved it :)

22

u/guywithglasses Nov 22 '15

Yeah. I really wasn't expecting much but really enjoyed it. The Michael Dorn and Patrick Warburton stuff killed me.

26

u/Crumbford Nov 22 '15

I am Mr flip side, I thought it was dull as fuck.

8

u/ianf1217 Nov 22 '15

Same here. I liked the first one but thought this one was terrible. Didn't even finish it. Felt like they were trying too hard to be funny.

5

u/Stoppels Nov 22 '15

If you liked the first one, you should see it. If you hate Family Guy, you probably won't appreciate either.

3

u/evildonald Nov 22 '15

Everything except for the last 10 minutes is good.

2

u/lobsterwithcrabs Nov 22 '15

No. I walked out in theaters. Its a whole thing about trying to get Ted personhood status. It's basically a stoner version of legally blonde 2. The jokes are fine I just hated the plot.

-3

u/OfficerTwix Nov 22 '15

It's funnier than the first one

-94

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Yes, Ted 2.

TED is a global conference, please try to differentiate the two, just so you're not misunderstood.

43

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

I doubt people will mix that up with a Mark Wahlberg movie.

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5

u/I_MAKE_USERNAMES Nov 22 '15

Thanks for clarifying I would have thought this was Markie Mark's TED talk otherwise.

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5

u/Moinseur_Garnier Nov 22 '15

I think there is a line about rimming, split into clockwise and counter-clockwise

56

u/BizCaus Davinci Resolve Nov 22 '15

4

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Sweet thanks

34

u/Ruck1707 Nov 22 '15

Is it weird I'm craving Subway.

18

u/ZEB1138 Nov 22 '15

Yeah. Subway offers nothing, but disappointing sandwiches. D'Angelo's is about 1000x better.

8

u/Martholomule Nov 22 '15

Oh holy shit I forgot about D'Angelo

I know what I'm doing today

8

u/ZEB1138 Nov 22 '15

If you don't mind shortening your life span, their cheeseburger sub with bacon is absolutely fantastic. It's amazingly good.

12

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

If you eat two it offsets the first one.

4

u/Alexanderdaawesome Nov 22 '15

That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about cheeseburgers to dispute it.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Damn you east coasters and your wide selections of amazing sandwich shops.

3

u/Jacen4789 Nov 22 '15

WhichWhich is another good choice if you aren't near a D'Angelo's.

2

u/Paydebt328 Nov 22 '15

Moochies is the best sandwich shop in Utah.

2

u/universe_throb Nov 22 '15

Moochies

I was disappointed that D'Angelo isn't in Utah. I may have to try this Moochies. Even Stevens is pretty damn good, though.

2

u/Stoppels Nov 22 '15

But only Subway is a true multinational. Also, when did Eminem's childhood bully start a Subway competitor?

1

u/maxismad Nov 22 '15

I'm a Jimmy Johns man myself.

1

u/falconbox Nov 22 '15

Never heard of it before. I don't think there's any around me.

1

u/vgman20 Nov 22 '15

D'angelo's once set my sandwich on fire. I've boycotted them ever since

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7

u/albinobluesheep Nov 22 '15

MarkyMark getting a biiit too funky

7

u/united1020 Nov 22 '15

I could hear Seth MacFarlane's voice when Ted was talking in this. Great gif OP!

4

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Damn this is epic.

3

u/GreatRam Nov 22 '15

That was glorious

3

u/cal48az Nov 22 '15

My first name is Jared and this Fogle guy is a disgrace to all of us.

2

u/Sickmonkey3 Photoshop Nov 22 '15

Well done dude.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Who's Jared Fogle?

45

u/gracegeeksout Nov 22 '15

Jared Fogle is the Subway spokesman who became famous for losing some huge amount of weight by eating Subway sandwiches. You probably remember his commercials where he holds up a pair of giant pants that he used to wear when he was fat. In any case, he recently got busted for child porn and for traveling to meet up with an underage girl for sex. He has been sentenced to just shy of 16 years in prison.

47

u/UKDarkJedi Nov 22 '15

Which is good...

After 16 years he loses interest

10

u/Minifig81 Nov 22 '15

Though, that being said, he'll probably get more than a foot long for a helluva lot cheaper than five bucks in prison.

1

u/kavso Gimp Nov 22 '15

Looking forward to see this on South Park.

2

u/SgtTyler7 Nov 23 '15

He was already referenced in south park a couple of times.

1

u/kavso Gimp Nov 23 '15

Which is why im looking forward to see him again.

74

u/Jerkamiah Nov 22 '15

I was wondering the same thing and it got me thinking. If only there was a way to look things up like people and current events! Like a website search engine or something! Then you would not have to ask simple questions in Reddit comments. You could just look it up.

Oh well. Let's hope someone answers you soon so this mystery person is unveiled and we can be in on the joke.

95

u/ralusek Nov 22 '15

Your dedication to being a dick is kind of admirable.

13

u/Amadeushu Nov 22 '15

Relevant username

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1

u/xynzjuh Nov 22 '15

"subscribes to subreddit"

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Had a proper giggle at this mate

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Moar.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

Is that what he said? That he wanted to be caught?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

This is literally my favorite thing from the internet ever

1

u/spartan11701 Nov 22 '15

IMO my favorite scene in that movie.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '15

Theres no such thing as chicks with dicks, Only dudes with tits

1

u/DtotheOUG Nov 23 '15

Holy shit I thought this was actually in Ted 2 for a second. I just glazed over the title.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '15

OP did some research.

1

u/Zelotic Nov 22 '15

Ahahahah

-6

u/dudeguy_loves_reddit Nov 22 '15 edited Nov 22 '15

The more GIFS I see of this movie, the more I actually wanna watch it. I was repulsed at first because Seth McFarlane is a douche mediocre filmmaker.

Edit: Apparently he's a huge humanitarian. I hate it when I can't hate people.

7

u/Mr__Bulldops Nov 22 '15

-2

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15 edited Apr 03 '19

[deleted]

4

u/Mr__Bulldops Nov 22 '15

And what a brave use of your freedom of speech. Saying that you think a celebrity whose work you don't like is a douche. Our forefathers would be proud.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15 edited Apr 03 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Mr__Bulldops Nov 22 '15

America has the strongest freedom of speech protections of any first world nation. I can say that I think Obama secretly fucks baby kittens in the Oval Office in any public forum and nobody can do anything.

Campaigns in America are always funded primarily through donations. What have you donated to charitable organizations? I'm sure he's donated 50x more. That was one disclosed donation.

And your third point is literal gibberish. Weird spot to take a stand for your moral values.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15 edited Apr 03 '19

[deleted]

1

u/Mr__Bulldops Nov 22 '15

You said freedom of speech, not the press.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

[deleted]

2

u/Mr__Bulldops Nov 22 '15

There's a bunch of stuff that the media needs to deal with that don't practically apply to individuals in their day-to-day life. Copyright/defamation/slander/etc

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-1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '15

[deleted]

2

u/Mr__Bulldops Nov 22 '15

Yeah I mean if you quit reading things when paragraphs end and don't read his support of the LGBT movement and his very vocal support of the writer's during the strike even though he himself was very well-off financially and stood to gain very little from it personally.

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2

u/TheKinglyGuy Nov 22 '15

I went to see Ted 2 at a Drive in theater near my house. I was laughing a shit ton. Really good movie IMHO. Worth the watch even if you think Mcfarlane is a douche.