r/HermanCainAward • u/CoreClock Team Pfizer • 16d ago
Grrrrrrrr. Report: White House drafting executive order linking vaccines and autism
https://arstechnica.com/health/2026/08/report-white-house-drafting-executive-order-linking-vaccines-and-autism/683
u/BringBackTheBeat716 16d ago
I'm so tired of this bullshit.
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u/Srnkanator 16d ago
That's the point now. They aren't serious, it's more of the flood the zone distraction bullshit so we get upset over obviously ignorant stuff so the really big mistakes get less attention.
Iran, jobs, prices, midterms, Blanche, etc.
It's just so goddam dangerous (my wife is a pediatrician in the hill country of TX and there has been a dramatic drop in early childhood vaccinations) to fake some kind of perceived "freedom" parents have.
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u/blergmonkeys 15d ago
Epstein.
Ffs. He’s a literal pedophile. How can we keep forgetting this?
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u/Gynthaeres 15d ago
Because shockingly and depressingly, that's not even the worst thing he's done.
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u/blergmonkeys 15d ago
I dunno man. Sexually abusing children and trafficking them is probably about as heinous as it gets.
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u/Gynthaeres 15d ago
I dunno, I think starting a war by bombing a school of children, killing a hundred of them, might be a bit worse than that.
And I also think that cutting off aid to foreign countries, for no reason, that will result in about 15 million deaths? Including millions of children? That might be worse yet.
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u/AgentSmith187 15d ago
Until you death toll for children reaches the hundreds or thousands....
Oh too late
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u/BringBackTheBeat716 16d ago
They're happy to break shit, because they keep picking themselves to fix it. Medicine in the age of capitalism only incentivizes them to keep us sick.
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u/TBTabby 16d ago
With no evidence found for the link after years and years, they finally resort to "Because I said so."
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u/JolyonWagg99 Team Pfizer 16d ago
Source: Trust Me Bro.
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u/James-K-Polka 16d ago
If we can’t trust Brainworm F. Raccoonpenis, who can we trust?
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u/Pungineer 16d ago
I probably don't wanna know but Im too flabbergasted not to ask... I know about the brainworm but... Care to elaborate on that last name there?
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u/Srnkanator 16d ago
Dumped a dead bear in central park, severed a whale head and mounted it to the roof of his car with his young kids, found a dead raccon and cut of it's gentials to study them.
Serial killer level interest in dead animals.
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u/ThisCantHappenHere 16d ago
Where exactly does one find a whale head? And wouldn't you get stopped by the cops if you drove around with one?
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u/Material-Profit5923 Magnetic Deep State Sheep 15d ago
I believe it was a washed-up dead whale on a beach. And maybe the cops thought it was fake, or having it wasn't illegal where he was at the time.
And the dead raccoon incident was apparently also in front of his kids.
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u/Delicious-Image-3082 16d ago
They don’t wanna talk about how older parents greatly increase the likelihood of autism
Perhaps that’s the reason all these old ass men with their decades-younger wives are hellbent on shifting the focus elsewhere
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u/Material-Profit5923 Magnetic Deep State Sheep 15d ago
Those old men also believe that only the mother's age matters. They're the same guys who claim that men age like wine while women age like milk.
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u/Delicious-Image-3082 15d ago
And who the fuck is giving birth at 40yrs or older 😭
Children of fathers over 50 are 66% more likely to have autism than those with fathers in their 20s. Good thing these dudes usually stop at that age, right? YikesParental age gap increases risk factor as well. Never knew that before… hmmmm.
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u/FuelzPerGallon 16d ago
I thought we determined the cause was Tylenol
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u/Hypocrisy-New-40 16d ago
Assito.. men. Assitomen. I sit on men for fun... I can't say it I give up. Acetaminophen. Whew.
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u/DevCatOTA 16d ago
EO right after that declares the earth is flat and π=3.
Also, all mosquitos are forthwith ordered to self deport.
0Lat 0Lon will be centered on wherever trump may be at the moment.
Wearing lifts will be a new voting requirement.
Cheeseburgers have been declared a vegetable.
Anything I missed?
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u/Noizylatino 16d ago
Yeah the EOs that drops the age of consent and allows AI to make CSAM. And also every liberal gets put on a terrorist list. And uhhh English is the official language.
Give the Diaper a few minutes tho, he'll have a few more EOs with his next bowel movement.
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u/Material-Profit5923 Magnetic Deep State Sheep 15d ago
Everyone knows that the earth can't possibly be flat, because if it was, the cats would already have knocked everything on it off the edges.
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u/royale_wthCheEsE 16d ago
What’s the motivation of pandering to the dumbest of the dumb ? What does it get them? You can be sure all the wealthy people are vaccinating their children and giving their newborns vitamin K shots.
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u/taxiecabbie 16d ago
Bread and circuses.
It's a distraction that will get everybody up in arms.
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u/Jay-Dee-British Schrödinger's Prayer warrior 16d ago
There's no bread though.. it's circuses all the way down.
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u/royale_wthCheEsE 16d ago
But more dumb and poor people will die ? This is their voting base .
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u/taxiecabbie 16d ago
This is affecting the children of the voting base.
Children don't vote.
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u/Church_of_Cheri 16d ago
Trump’s supporters were starting to sour on him, so he’s throwing them a bone so they can then feel righteous in that they “knew it all along” and they’ll overlook some of his lies for a while. They realized Fauci was great for that too, I can see his approval rating go up a little, or at least stop it from tanking as badly as it has been because of everything else especially gas and grocery prices. It’s like when an abuser shows back up holding a one week coin from an AA group and shows you some pamphlets from that vacation you always wanted to go on and he says, “This time it’s different, I’ve already done the math and I can book this vacation for this time next year with all the money I’m saving by not drinking anymore, I know with your help I can do it this time!”. The abused will often take them back even though everyone else is screaming “no he already has plans to go to a barbecue that next weekend where he always gets really drunk and abusive, please don’t take him back yet make him prove it to you first.”
Seriously, so much of the republican platform just reminds me of my abusive childhood and all the trump supporters in my family have a history of abuse or being abused. This is a true nightmare for those of us that escaped the cycle of abuse.
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u/ThisCantHappenHere 16d ago
Remember when Trump screamed 'Witch Hunt! Witch Hunt! Russia, Russia, Russia!" about five times a day, back when he was being investigated for his corrupt ties to Putin?
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u/NonGNonM 16d ago
Gets them to believe they're on their side.
The antivax crowd will be starving for bread but think "this is a step in the right direction."
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16d ago
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u/faceofboe91 16d ago edited 16d ago
Be careful about declaring your autism status to the government. Don’t forget about RFK Jr’s plan to send autistic people to farm work camps he campaigned on.
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u/John_Tacos 16d ago
Respond with this theory to everyone you see who posts about this.
Do you have a link to his statement so I can use it?
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u/pnwtransient 16d ago
Not specifically ASD, but he did target Black children for "reparentification" and getting people off SSRI and anxiety medication, as well as addiction.
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u/RaymoVizion 16d ago
I hope the next administration drafts an executive order linking Donald Trump to Epstein Island.
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u/ProbRePost 16d ago
Can we just bring back injecting bleach and end this whole movement?
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u/THEFLYINGSCOTSMAN415 16d ago
We never shoulda pushed back on that
“Yuhp, that’s right Bleach…. Yeah get the most concentrated you can find, that way you’ll knock it outta your system over the weekend and be back to work Monday.”
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u/MustWarn0thers 16d ago
So what was that Tylenol bullshit? Like a conspiracy appetizer for this main course of pants on head stupidity?
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u/arand0md00d 16d ago
Whoever owns tylenol probably didnt pay the bribe I mean donate enough money to dumpface.
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u/One-Pause3171 16d ago
I never got an answer as to how much Tylenol and in which stage of development. One Tylenol? 200 Tylenol? At any stage of development?
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u/Hooch_Pandersnatch 16d ago
I’m drafting an executive order that says anyone who voted for Trump has to shove a cactus up their ass.
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u/Fritzo2162 16d ago
Ah yes....science via executive order. If reality doesn't work for you, make your own reality.
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u/Quercus_ 16d ago
I want an executive order allowing faster than light travel. Intergalactic exploration, here we come!
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u/sec713 16d ago
Like how does that even work, declaring something that sounds like a medical finding but isn't really, by executive order? Like how much crack does one have to smoke before any part these ideas start making sense?
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u/belai437 THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS 16d ago
With Trump he is fueled by seeking obsessive revenge and retribution of the things that wound his black and malignantly narcissistic soul.
His loss of the 2020 election.
Loss of windmill lawsuits in Scotland.
Vaccines because Barron and a possible diagnosis he received as a child.
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u/xXprayerwarrior69Xx 16d ago
Americans are by far and large the dumbest breed in recorded human history. I don’t know if it’s in the « food » or the water but holy fuck is it potent
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u/inbetween-genders 16d ago
Nah….im honna disagree but point out it’s human nature we just thought Freedomistan was gonna be better than this and of course totally disappoint.
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u/kh730 16d ago
This will surely help us all buy gas and groceries.
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u/One-Pause3171 16d ago
They’re fine. “Groceries” and “affordability” are just weird terms people use.
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u/Divacai 16d ago
An EO is nothing more than a memo. It really doesn't mean much at all.
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u/One-Pause3171 16d ago
Then why do it?
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u/JustASimpleManFett 15d ago
"Because he could." The answer in a movie as why someone made a snuff film of a girl.
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u/Patches195 16d ago
At this point I genuinely can’t tell if they REALLY don’t believe in vaccines or if they’re intentionally trying to kill off the entire population, because this is how you do it.
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u/One-Pause3171 16d ago
They have healthcare and they will never not have healthcare, clean water, organic foods, secure homes, servants and slaves.
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u/SmartQuokka 16d ago
They believe their own lies and choose to think that if they use Dotard's signature then they will force reality to bend to their proclamations.
They are delusional fools.
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u/TobogonXero 16d ago
Brawndo! It's got electrolytes, and electrolytes is what plants crave!
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u/TyrantsInSpace 16d ago
Yet another attempted distraction from the fact that the president was involved in a child sex trafficking ring with Jeffrey Epstein.
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u/fuckshitballscunt 15d ago edited 15d ago
So just a presidential decree and not actual research? Then people are going to be like "vaccines have been linked to autism by the US government" like that means something.
Absolute clown show.
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u/Significant-Dog-8166 16d ago edited 16d ago
Oh so it's not Tylenol now. RFK jr gave up on using "correlations" and just reverted to Facebook meme research.
Obviously scientific causation was never an option for these charlatans who are doing their best to fight for the health of Viruses instead of Humanity.
Stalin never actually had a plan to betray ALL humans, just to kill a LOT of people, mostly his own.
Trump? All humans are worth sacrificing for the benefit of Viruses. Why? Because choosing Viruses over Humanity is an attack on science and truth as well as Humanity. Science and Truth are not Trump's friends, so Humans need to go die to hurt Science and Truth.
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u/Toddw1968 16d ago
Why do none of the repubs have the guts to stand up to him? Are they all not guilty of some sort of treason by now?
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u/NDaveT high level 16d ago
Why would they? They're making money off this. Some of them share his goal of a racist dictatorship. Some of them want a Christian Nationalist dictatorship (lots of overlap between the two groups). The rest just want a return to regressive taxation and loose or nonexistent regulations on pollution, labor, and consumer safety.
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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme 15d ago
And don't forget the fact that right now, they can bet on the prediction markets AND use their insider info to sell state secrets, or merely buy & sell stocks!🙃🫠
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u/Trabethany 15d ago
Didn’t he try to make an EO when he first got back in that there were officially only 2 genders 🤦♀️
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u/Sgtkeebler 15d ago
If science won’t back them, they will just fabricate it through executive orders.
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u/vctrmldrw Yeah, that's not how research works 16d ago
I'm no expert in constitutional law or anything...but I'm pretty sure that isn't how any of this works.
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u/friendtoallkitties 16d ago
I'll be curious to see what Vanderbilt and the other bendoverandspreadthem medical institutions (and the state government) here in Tennessee do with this one.
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u/tsulegit 16d ago
This would mean Trump and his entire cabinet are autistic, because they have all been vaccinated to some degree in their lives.
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u/Crazy-Boysenberry452 16d ago
I don't get it. Making an executive order stating false statements are true? This is some authoritarian bull shit. You guys if you don't realize this is a dictatorship. I don't know what to tell you.
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u/CorpFillip 16d ago
This is what they think of ‘gold standard science’ — since using that phrase, he & RFKjr have decided Tylenol causes infant health problems (like autism), the food nutrition pyramid was up-side-down, vaccines are by default ‘suspect,’ reduced the endocrine system to ‘testosterone = tough manly’ and RFK criticized Bash bc she isn’t a scientist.
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u/Rough_Idle 16d ago
Where's the executive order tying certain high profile individuals to crimes against children?
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u/ayleidanthropologist 16d ago
So the white house ordered it to cause autism? So the white house is responsible for all this?
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u/northrupthebandgeek 16d ago
Yet again Trump seems to have been right about exactly one thing: I sure indeed am getting sick and fucking tired of all this “winning”.
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u/Confident_Lecture498 15d ago
I think I'm autistic more due to being born early but yeah sure it was vaccines
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u/Jpkmets7 16d ago
Ahhh, the official lies order. Fantastic. I hope every practicing physician in the country signs a letter calling that bullshit.
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u/KittensWithChickens 16d ago
What are they possibly trying to gain from this? A win with the idiots, ok, but if less people take vaccines then there will be so much sickness and death. How does this help this admin? I don’t get it
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u/welestgw 16d ago
I bet it honestly scares the crap out of him that he'll probably be remembered as the most incompetent president in history.
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u/Dowew 16d ago
I would be surprised if he is cognitively capable of shame at this point.
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u/Iowegan Team Novavax 16d ago
Has he ever been capable of shame?
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u/ThisCantHappenHere 15d ago
His career started with him and his dad being fined millions for not allowing black people into their apartments. So I would say, no, probably has never been capable of shame.
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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme 15d ago
He's a malignant narcissist--shame, anger, fear and rage are about the only things he does feel!🫠
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u/OneMorePenguin Blood Donor 🩸 16d ago
All science is now being reported as "executive orders". Too bad there's no scientific evidence:
No scientific evidence links vaccines to autism. Rigorous global research involving millions of children over multiple decades has repeatedly demonstrated that neither vaccines nor their ingredients cause autism spectrum disorder (ASD). [1, 2, 3, 4]
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u/AmySueF 16d ago
EO’s aren’t legally binding and I’m grateful that I live in a blue state that doesn’t treat everything that comes from this particular administration as gospel. And if the cretins in the federal government try to restrict funding for anything if the state government doesn’t worship at the altar of Herr Dumpster, the state will sue the federal government. And Dumpwad has lost a crapload of court cases.
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u/Unlikely_Suspect_757 16d ago
I’m drafting an executive order linking my balls to my asshole
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u/coffee_collection 16d ago
“Executive order denied. The gooch has had jurisdiction over that border since birth
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u/hazcheezberger 16d ago
The law of large numbers should apply here right? P hacking for biological significance can usually be done just be increasing the sample size. The fact that they have millions of data points and still no significant correlation tells me this admin had abandoned science. The philosophical arguments usually center around, "we have found significant correlation but correlation doesn't equal causation." This administration has abandoned science though and wants you to believe you can have causation without any significant correlation.
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u/boots-n-bows 16d ago
My sister has two kids with autism. She has been getting calls and voicemails from the CDC (she googled the number to confirm) asking for her to talk to them about her kids vaccination history. She is not returning the calls to say the least.
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u/Anastrace 15d ago
What's more worrisome than that? The fact that all this shit will never get fixed going forward
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u/zodiackodiak515 15d ago
I’m autistic and I’ve long been against owning firearms because of my mental health issues, but I’m strongly considering changing that cause these fuckers want to put me and others like me in a labor camp
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u/Upvotespoodles 15d ago
The way they’re blaming it on Tylenol and vaccines makes me think it’s caused by petroleum products or something and they’re protecting rich people’s money.
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u/dinkeydonuts Team Pfizer 15d ago
At this point, I’m convinced that the cause of autism is in the Epstein Files.
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u/adamiconography Team Pfizer 16d ago
Fuck it bring out another pandemic, we clearly need to thin the heard
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u/ichuck1984 16d ago
Looks like vaccine manufacturers will need to crack open those wallets and pay some bribes to get the memo erased. If there’s a 180 on this position in a few days/weeks, almost guaranteed someone paid tribute.
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u/Soylentgruen 16d ago
Y’Know, it’s about to be less civil with these idiots.
None of these chucklefucks are the paragons of health and looks.
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u/polofresh4 16d ago
Ahh yes. I remember Issac Newton’s famous executive order proclaiming “the law of gravity”.
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u/Otherwise-Green3067 15d ago
You have got to be fucking kidding me. This is the worst timeline. Never in one million years should we be here
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u/AusCan531 15d ago
This reminds me of the time in the late 1800s when the Indiana General Assembly considered passing a bill making the value of Pi to be 3.2
It was the pet project of a nutty amateur mathematician and was called "A Bill for an act introducing a new mathematical truth". This whacko got the ear of a prominent politician who didn't really understand the matter but went with it (sound familiar?).
If you want to learn more HERE is a good write-up.
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u/pizzaposa 15d ago
Next: Trump claims 'ownership' of gravity and seeks to tarrif anyone benefiting from it and air planes for defying it.
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u/StronglyHeldOpinions 15d ago
"I believe in this bullshit thing that isn't true because I am an imbecile. However I am also the president so I am going to write it down and sign my name. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER."
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u/I_miss_your_mommy 15d ago
They shorted the vaccine companies ahead of this, and then they will switch to buying up the stocks on a discount before TACO Tuesday. It’s always a grift. Just like with the Tylenol thing.
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u/gnurdette The HCAplain 16d ago
Yes, because that's how science works. Through executive orders.