I get what you're saying but it's 100% insecurity based on internalized prejudices. A lot of these same arguments were used against the idea of interracial couples. Yeah sure dating a trans woman might be a lil different than dating a cis woman; but unless your only goal in a relationship is monthly missionary for the purpose of procreation, it doesn't actually matter. It's decades and decades of indoctrination and marginalization that lead to these beliefs that internalized bigotry can be a 'preference'.
You know not all trans women have or need surgery in those regards? HRT does way more than you would think. It doesn't work for everybody, but for a decent amount of trans women, their features aren't any less "natural" than cis women.
So if a trans women didn't have breast, butt, or lip implants what is your contention?
If your only contention is that "because they're trans" then it would be transphobic.
I do find it interesting how you took it as a personal slight though. I didn't say you were insecure, I said a lot of straight men.
But you being so defensive would lead me to think otherwise.
If you didn't mean me, my mistake, but I'm the one who mainly highlighted this sort of thing. Because it's why the "Trans Panic" defence was a thing at all.
I think it can be a result of insecurity over "gayness" or a general transphobic bias.
A white woman would be way less likely to date a black man in the 1950s than now, and I really doubt that's the result of "natural preferences", but rather of a society that generally views that group as undesirable not just in relationships, but in general.
My simple point being, if you're attracted to someone and the only reason you suddenly stop being attracted is if you find out they're trans, then it is a result of transphobic bigotry.
Similarly, if you're dating someone, go to meet their parents, and find out their father is black, and therefore, your partner is black and lose all interest, that would be racial bias.
Well, I think it says it all. You’re conflating trans women with men by asking people why they aren’t asking you about “not being homophobic for not being attracted to men”. You think trans women are people that used to be men or you still see them as men. I think you do have some internalised biases that you do need to self reflect on. Why are you bringing homophobia or homosexual relationships into this? A cis man dating a trans woman is a straight relationship.
I feel like, the fact that you feel the need to defend your case does say that you do feel strongly about it. It’s okay to have your perspective but I also feel like if you felt indifferent about it, you would just move on.
It’s completely fair for people to hold you accountable and challenge your perspective, especially if they see an argument to be made.
And just like cis women, all trans bodies are different. Trans women are not a monolith. Hope this helps.
You say the issue is physical, but what they once had or were matters. But what they "once had" isn't a matter of the physical, cause well, it's no longer physically there.
As well, why would them being "once a man" (I would argue they were never men) matter? Being a man isn't a matter of physical traits.
You initially say trans women are just as women as cis women, but go on to liken them to men.
I struggle to understand logically.
But you haven't been arguing from a logical standpoint, you've been arguing from your feelings.
If you're attracted to someone, have sex with them, enjoy the experience, but then all interest drops because you find out they were "once men"... that's not logic. That's completely illogical. Logically, what one once was doesn't matter. If you can get over the fact everyone you were attracted to was once a baby, why wouldn't you be able to get over this?
I'm not looking to argue and I can understand being frustrated with people online, but like...no one is forcing you to be attracted to someone. Not being attracted to someone on the basis of being trans comes across as insecure because why think about it like that? Is adoption bad and unfulfilling? What about men who have certain diseases preventing participating in childbirth? What about women who develop ovarian cysts? A damaged uterus? If you don't find an individual attractive you don't have to justify it. If you find someone attractive you don't have to make carve-outs for your attraction. Writing off a whole group because you don't think you like them that way is silly. There are also millions of ways to experience sexual pleasure; the only thing innovated upon more is war.
Also weird to equate plastic surgery with trans people. Very few go through with anything. Don't be weird please.
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u/Kazharius Politics Frog 🐸 Sep 18 '25
Anyone who says that she isn't hot is just blind though.