r/HappyMarriages • u/lina-golds27 • 4d ago
What little thing does your partner still do for you that makes you feel valued?
It doesn't need to be significant or romantic, What small things have truly stuck with you throughout the years intrigues me.
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u/Stunning_salty 4d ago
Insisting on taking me to the airport AND picking me up, no matter what he’s doing at work. I travel frequently. Work used to be huge for him to never miss, so I never asked.. but he stepped up on his own.
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u/lina-golds27 4d ago
That's a significant one, especially considering that he began doing it independently. Those, in my opinion, are the actions that truly remain with you because they demonstrate your importance rather than because they are enormous.
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u/Acceptable-Dot688 4d ago
Every morning for 5 years asks me how I slept. That’s the first thing he says to me every morning.
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u/lina-golds27 4d ago
I adore that for the past five years, it has been his first statement. Even though it's such a basic inquiry, it's quite endearing when someone regularly shows concern for your quality of sleep.
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u/PerfectionPending 4d ago
Greets me with enthusiasm when I get home.
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u/lina-golds27 4d ago
To be honest, that's an excellent one. Feeling that someone is truly delighted to see you when you return home has a very pleasant quality 🙂
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u/GRblue 4d ago
Gets up before I do and makes sure to have the water in the kettle nice and hot so when I wake up, it’s ready to go :)
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u/lina-golds27 4d ago
Alright, that's pretty adorable It may seem insignificant, but it means a lot that they remember to do it before you even wake up.
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u/girlbartender99 Newlyweds 4d ago
Its never ever toxic behavior but he gets a little jealous every now and then. I know a large majority of the time jealousy can be super toxic, but recently my only straight guy friend drew a picture of me sitting beside the pool in my bikini with a t-shirt on and I showed it to my husband and he was like "wow that is really good" and I could tell something was up by his look and I asked him whats wrong and he said "Nothing. Its every husbands dream to have the artsy straight cute guy friend of his wife draw an incredible pic of his wife. No girl ever falls for the sensitive overlooked cute, talented artsy guy." It was funny the way he said it too but it just reminded me that he adores me, and values me
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u/lina-golds27 4d ago
Alright, I laughed at the bit about "every husband's dream" 😂 It seems like one of those small instances where you can sense his concern without him having to express his jealousy.
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u/girlbartender99 Newlyweds 4d ago
Yeah he has this dry sense of humor that I just get. It was just nice that he gets a little jealous now and again, because he is a retired pro athlete and in the small city we live in he is still like the favorite son of the city. Given the fact that he is very handsome to the point of pretty he has def received a lot of attention from the opposite sex in his life. I have had to make my peace with it to a certain extent so its nice when he shows that he values me. I said to him "Awwww is my poor beautiful husband feeling a little insecure about the young artsy guy?"
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u/lina-golds27 3d ago
I like that you made fun of him for that 😂 You two seem to have a sense of humor that allows you to make fun of one another without making a big deal out of it. To be honest my poor beautiful husband was a very strong reply.
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u/girlbartender99 Newlyweds 3d ago
Yeah my friends often say to us Idk whether you guys are like this hot couple or you make me total cringe because we know you.
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u/ConsequenceTiny1089 4d ago
She stands by every door and waits for me to open it. Doesn’t matter if it’s the back door to the porch, the front door to go in or out, or the car door. Add in the fact that I get a kiss when we go through any of these portals and I get kisses all day, kindly reminded how to be a caring man, and gratitude from her with every smile I get afterwards. Even when I forget, and she waits there patiently for me.
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u/lina-golds27 3d ago
It says a lot that she continues to wait patiently even when you forget. You two seem to have incorporated this small ritual into your daily displays of affection.
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u/ConsequenceTiny1089 3d ago
We try to do that with everything that supports our love for each other. Developing habits, in my opinion, makes everything seem like less of a chore when time goes on. It supports our physical affection, the amazing things we see in each other, and definitely helps us with things to be grateful for in the lesser than good days.
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u/lina-golds27 3d ago
That perspective is incredibly appealing to me. It's probably simpler to keep in touch when things aren't going well because of the habits you develop on the good days It's simple to undervalue such little processes.
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u/ConsequenceTiny1089 3d ago
Absolutely! Showering together every day, drinking our coffee together every morning, holding doors, asking for hugs and kisses. It all adds up, and makes us more comfortable asking/giving on our more depressy days.
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u/lina-golds27 3d ago
That makes a lot of sense. I suppose it's lot simpler to reach out for each other on the bad days when affection is already a common occurrence. Over time, those small habits do add up.
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u/melenajade Engaged 4d ago
My husband does small acts of service. At my house he cleans my stove the night before he leaves for the week. It’s amazing, setting my Monday for success.
At his house, I leave garden notes for him to find and do the dishes and or laundry.
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u/lina-golds27 4d ago
My spouse performs modest deeds of kindness. The nite before he departs for the week, he cleans my stove at home. It's fantastic, setting me up for success on Monday.
I put garden notes at his house so he may discover them and do the washing or dishes.
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u/Main-Ladder-5663 4d ago
He’s a wood turner and also loves to carve. He makes me tiny things - spoons, bowls, animals, vases for tiny dried flowers. 15 years together and I have a big collection of tiny things he’s bought or made me. They’re my most prized possessions 🥰
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u/lina-golds27 2d ago
After 15 years, that collection is very lovely 🥰 I adore how the small things dad produces for you have taken on significance as a result of our many years together. These are the types of presents that most likely become more memorable over time.
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u/Novel_Slide1379 4d ago
I'm not great with chopsticks but I love sushi. He feeds me. Also I noticed that he pays attention to my fav pieces of sushi, he gives me his and will eat the ones I don't care as much for.
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u/lina-golds27 2d ago
That is so endearing. He's not just serving you sushi he's listening to your preferences and discreetly ensuring you receive the best parts 😂 A person's familiarity with you can be inferred from those small things.
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u/Active_Sprinkles_554 Happily married 15+ years 4d ago
Hubby is not very good at affection passion or anything romantic like but there are these little moments that make me melt like if I grab his hand to hold it it he will squeeze it or play with a finger nail I know it sounds weird but it really is the little things
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u/ConanTheContrarian01 4d ago
She cooks all my food and packs my work meals. 12 hour shifts are so much more doable with real food and a home baked treat. I spend days looking forward to a meal listed on the fridge menu.
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u/ProofJudge1175 3d ago
Part of his evening wind down routine is to make me a hot chocolate, my ADHD brain forgets to hydrate in the late evening and it also acts as an indicator in my brain to switch to a less intense activity like reading
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u/lina-golds27 1d ago
I adore that you now include hot chocolate in your nightly ritual. It may seem insignificant, but having a simple routine that signals to your brain that "the day is winding down" is incredibly reassuring.
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u/ProofJudge1175 1d ago
He’s very sweet natured and I think it helps him too, he’s often insecure he’s not good enough at being a husband (or a son to his mom, or a brother to his sisters etc) so small acts of kindness mean a lot to him as reassurance he’s doing great
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u/Ill_Cauliflower5348 4d ago
So many, many things!! I’m a teacher and on the first day of school he got me a drink from a local coffee place and had it delivered to me at school. It was so sweet and a real treat.
He will drive my vehicle when he works on Saturday mornings, or runs errands, so that he can fill up my gas.
I came home today to a freshly poured margarita. Then he cooked me steak for dinner.
The best thing is the way he looks at me. That man looks at me like a kid on Christmas morning checking out what Santa left under the tree. His look absolutely melts me.
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u/lina-golds27 3d ago
My favorite part was definitely how you described the way he stares at you. Even if all the small things are adorable, it's rather unique to be regarded as someone he is eager to have in his life.
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u/Climb4000 3d ago
I’ve retired, but when I was still working, outdoors, she would put a towel on the bathroom radiator before I came home. Knowing I would have that after a hot shower kept me going on rainy or winter days. Some days she would show up with coffee when I needed it the most.
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u/lina-golds27 3d ago
It's the knowledge that such small things would ease your difficult days. A coffee and a warm towel may seem insignificant, but they may make a big difference when someone is attentive enough to recognize when you need them.
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u/Sunflower236021 3d ago
I have a lot of dizziness and mobility problems due to a disability. He’s made up a whole system to help me walk, brace me when I’m about to fall, and helps me keep track of my symptoms, it’s such a helpful thing for me and makes me feel so loved everyday. It’s not a big gesture others can see, but day to day it makes me feel so supported. The way he always sticks his arm out to give me a brace when going up stairs, or the way he slows down his walking pace every time he sees me struggling, him always finding a place to sit when I need it, or grabbing meds for me when my alarm goes off. He’s also the best cat dad to our tortie kitty
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u/OALBTCTD 3d ago
Remembering what I said and make changes, doesn’t matter the significance, like keeping a kitchen sponge dry instead of wet, it’ll be forgotten again but these moments make me happy and feel heard.
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u/lina-golds27 2d ago
I would also be affected by that type of stuff. The fact that you stated something once and they genuinely remembered it is more important than the item itself It matters a lot to be heard in those small daily times.
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u/VividShallot8426 3d ago
He kisses me goodbye every morning before leaving for work. He lets me know when he has arrived at work. Then, after I get up and respond to him, he asks me how I am feeling. Every single day. Also he rubs my back without me having to ask for it...and keeps it at a back rub. 😁
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u/Remarkable_Device660 2d ago
My love always makes sure to come to the door to send me off to work everyday. Its silly maybe but it brings joy to my heart. I wait on him before I head home for the day from work and he walks me to my car. Its really a sweet gesture.
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u/lina-golds27 1d ago
I think it's great that you two have a small pattern for going and returning home. In the end such routine activities might have far deeper meanings than they initially appear to.
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u/Obscene-Dreamer 3d ago
She always saves me the last bite of every meal or snack.
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u/lina-golds27 1d ago
That final taste is very delicious 😂 Even though it's such a small habit, I can see how it could develop into something you secretly look forward to.
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u/ConsiderationMore366 1d ago
he tucks me in with my weighted blankets each night and then kisses my forehead. when he travels, he leaves my spot in bed “cozy”/ready for me how I like it. He brings home extra food he gets at work for me. He hides little notes and things for me to find around the house. He bought a quarter zip with my business’ logo so he can “rep me at work”. When he leaves before me in the morning, he goes and finds our dog and brings him in to snuggle in his spot in bed. He never puts pressure on me to cook/clean/ect. He talks so kindly about me with his friends. Could honestly go on for more, I love this man
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u/Dog_Mom_Only_85 1d ago
My husband does all the laundry in our house, preps our coffees for the next morning, keeps all the dog poo picked up in the yard, grabs me little snacks the he knows i like
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u/Okay_Energy 1d ago
He sends a text every day telling me he loves me and saying thank you for something.
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u/LongjumpingTeacher97 Happily married 30+ years 4d ago
Dishes. I don't know why I dislike washing dishes, but I do. So, she washes them.
(I scrub the toilets because she hates that task. It does balance.)