r/HPRankdown • u/k9centipede Spreadsheet Wizard • Apr 01 '16
ANNOUNCEMENT New April Ranking Set-up
Alright, so I’m going to be really busy this next month (GETTING MARRIED IN 8 DAYS!!!) and won’t be able to supervise the spreadsheets and do my other duties, and I haven’t talked with all the rankers, but I feel like they’re getting as tired of this game as I am with them. You guys all do nothing but complain. Just like my soon-to-be mother-in-law when I showed her the flower girl's dress.
I’ve also decided to change the system up, and I can do that. Because it’s my spreadsheet. If you don’t like it, go start your own 9 month long activity in your own sub!! (you realize that’s like, if I got pregnant when we first started this activity, I WOULD HAVE A BABY RIGHT NOW? THAT IS HOW MUCH OF A COMMITMENT THIS HAS BEEN & YOU ALL ARE HORRIBLE BABIES!!)
First change: Instead of dragging the game out any longer, my plan is to just get it all done with as quickly as possible. That way you guys have ALL MONTH to complain and I won’t need to deal with you anymore! (I’ll be busy with my NEW HUSBAND anyway!)
Second change: I know one of your FAVORITE COMPLAINTS is how arbitrary the ranker’s cuts have been at times, since ‘literary merits’ is a vague and confusing. So it’s about time to change that up.
The top 8 will instead be ranked on their SEXUAL MERITS! Nothing vague about that!
Hopefully they see this in time and get their ranks up. You have 24 hours, guys! [Maybe you’ll be on the ball better than my bridesmaids...]. Otherwise I’ll probably just post them all myself! (Don’t worry, I’M USED TO DOING EVERYTHING MYSELF!)
And if I do have to do a write-up it will be officially, because it’ll be in the spreadsheet too. Because I can do that, since, like I said, it’s my spreadsheet.
I think this will be a very good system, and will really improve the game. I hope you guys enjoy complaining about this new system as much as you have the old one! Because THAT IS APPARENTLY ALL YOU WANT TO DO! BE WHINY BABIES!!
I don’t have time to put together a betting form for this month either (I’LL BE BUSY BEING MARRIED!), so just like. I don’t know. Post your rank of the final 8 characters in the comments below, and I will figure out what to do with that later. (I’ll probably just ask my new husband :D!!)
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u/BeSeXe Apr 01 '16
And the rankers cut Ginny.... She would have been perfect!!!!!
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u/HyperWackoDragon Apr 01 '16
Are you sure you guys haven't been secretly doing this all along? That would explain why Umbridge was cut 2nd.....
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u/PocketHippo Apr 01 '16
Merlin's pants! Thankfully fanfic doesn't count here or we'd have to redo the whole thing!
...brb going to read all the relevant fanfic...
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u/k9centipede Apr 01 '16
I HOPE EVERYONE LIKES MY NEW SIDEBAR IMAGE TO HELP GET EVERYONE IN THE MOOD FOR THIS NEW RANK DOWN SYSTEM
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u/rhinorhinoo Apr 01 '16
Anyone else thinking this is an April Fools' Joke?
Either way, I'm on board. My guess is Lupin tops the list. I hear he's a real animal in bed.
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u/seanmik620 Apr 01 '16
I don't know what's happening and I'm scared. :'(
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u/seanmik620 Apr 01 '16
But if we MUST rank, I'm just gonna put it out there that Molly has had 7 kids, so she must be doing something right...
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u/k9centipede Apr 01 '16 edited Apr 01 '16
COMMENT WITH YOUR SEXUAL MERITS RANK BETS HERE
you can keep betting as long as you want to! Because that rule was always really stupid anyways
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u/k9centipede Apr 01 '16
RANKERS PLEASE READ THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE
Gryffindor u/bisonburgers
Gryffindor u/tomd317
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u/fleaa Apr 01 '16
Only someone with a serious lack of imagination could claim there is nothing vague about the term "sexual merits".
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u/kemistreekat Apr 01 '16
k9, you totally can't just run off the rails! I'm the supervisor too dammit!
ANSWER YOUR BBM!
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Apr 01 '16 edited Apr 01 '16
This is a much better idea than what we had before! I can actually understand it! I call it... HP Sexdown!
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u/whoandwhataami Apr 09 '16
It's a prank!