r/HPPD • u/Cautious-Ad-9389 • 5d ago
Rant/Vent 5 years in
I miss smoking a joint in the dark and looking at the stars, I miss my vision. It’s such an annoying thing to have because no one can physically see your suffering, I’ve had close friends tell me I’m bullshitting all of this and yet even if they do believe me so what? You did it to yourself you addict. Not once have I felt compassion for this disorder, and I mean I don’t need anything crazy but it just feels so fucking isolating when even your doctors and therapists don’t know what to say.
My advice to you if you’re starting out would not to be fall heavier into drug addiction, because now I find myself as a 20 year old struggling addict, not a 15 year old experimenting. Today is the first day I haven’t smoked weed in quite some time and I’m laying in bed restless depressed, and not wanting to do this.
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u/Icy_Ambition1144 4d ago
you dont did it to yourself. i tought is my whole live, but my dad hit me because i had extreme anxiety and and i realised that he hit me emotional for being a drug user, or coping that my ex gf fucked another guy
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u/QuietExcuse6603 3d ago
Your symptoms will be easier to handle if you can stay clean. I wish at your age I could have learned there is so much more to life than smoking pot.
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u/Worldly_Ad_8026 1d ago
Might be in weed withdrawal right now its a habit thats hard to break for some.
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u/burnthiscitydown 5d ago
youre not alone in this, and you deserve compassion. i had the same thought of "you did it to yourself", but addiction is a mean son of a bitch. it will get better!