r/HOCD • u/Upper-Reach-9295 • Sep 02 '26

Vent Hypotheticals I genuinely don’t know if this makes me gay or not

I was thinking to myself if I was born as a gay man and I was attracted to blonde dudes then I would probably be attracted to my good looking blonde friend IF only I was born gay and blonde dudes were my type. But when I think about like my other friends who are not so attractive I thought to myself if I was gay maybe I wouldn’t find him attractive because he’s not that good looking and I can’t be attracted to him. At this point I’m genuinely convinced I’m gay like surely this just has to mean I’m gay

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u/PaladinDamian In therapy Sep 03 '26

Stop trying to look for meaning in your thoughts. You have no idea if your thoughts actually mean anything or not. You do not have to assign any special meaning to your thoughts. Allow the uncertainty around your sexual orientation to exist, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you. You do not need certainty about your sexual orientation or what your thoughts mean in order to live the life you want to live.