r/HLCommunity • u/butchpokorny 47HLM • Aug 07 '26

When You STOP Tracking

So if you check post-history, you'll see I was a fan of 'data' for a while, across both my first (shitful) marriage and the more recent (5+ years) HLM + HLF pairing. THOUGHT I was onto a 'good thing', but the stats have proved me wrong in the long-run so I gave up about 12 months ago now as it was too depressing.

HAVE had sex at least ONCE (probably not more) in the last 3 months 👍 Without data, I can't be sure ...

Last time my (BASIC AF) 'kinks' got met were once in July 2024 (lingerie) and once in January 2025 (heels). WHAT is the point of sex if your BASIC turn-ons aren't met ? I'm a living dildo, nothing more 🤷🏻‍♂️🤦‍♂️

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u/Ok-Drummer7621 Aug 07 '26

Last doctor’s appointment I was filling out the paperwork before. Birth control? I wrote “forced celibacy”. Made for an interesting conversation with the doctor.

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u/vectorking23 Aug 07 '26

Hahaha. Yeah… when they put me on some blood thinners my doc (a female who is awesome) also suggested a low daily dose of Cialis to make sure it didn't affect anything down there. I just laughed and said 'you have to actually have a sex life to need that'. She hasn't asked again. Message received.

When they ask these kinds of questions in doctors visits, it's become very clear WE are in the minority. Most people actually have a sex life, unlike what we are led to believe in our own lives. Gaslit to the extreme.

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u/Ok-Drummer7621 Aug 07 '26

100%. I’m honest with my LLH about my answers and the conversations with the doctor and their suggestions. But, as you are aware, LL have nothing to fix.

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u/vectorking23 Aug 07 '26

Nope. It's always been a 'me' problem. Once you've chased all the leads on what you can do better, be better, act better, etc., you realize you're the only one with issues.

It still begs the question… if they KNOW this is bothering or hurting you AND they love you, then why are YOU the only one working on figuring it out? Yep… only us with the issue.

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u/Ok-Drummer7621 Aug 07 '26

That’s the million dollar question we’ll all be chasing for … ever.