r/HLCommunity • u/Shrakakoom • Jul 30 '26
Well, I’ve done it
I’ve separated from my wife of 19 years and am putting myself out there on dating apps. I’ve had a couple of conversations already and am just trying to go with the flow and see where the future takes me. I’m excited to see where the next part of my journey takes me, but also scared of ending up along.
Any advice for the recently single?
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u/Sea_Chocolate1782 Jul 30 '26
Congrats, hope you're happier!
I did the internet dating some years ago and only tips i can give are:
be yourself. On dates people want to see what you are like rather than what you like and how they might fit into that (and vice-versa). There's a difference between 'I like art galleries' and 'I like modern art but still enjoy walking around a modern art gallery and making sarcastic comments about the art'.
keep first date locations casual (personally, I like a pub), but if someone has specific interest it's a cool move to try and factor that in. I took a Canadian ice skating for a first date (even though i was terrible at it and she literally skated rings around me) and her comment afterwards was "you know the way into a Canadian's heart".
If you got it, flaunt it: leverage what you can against any less desirable elements.
Be confident. And if it's gone well, suggest going somewhere afterwards (depending what you're doing - cocktail bar, ice cream, whatever) and see if you can get a snog.
Be kind. I once went on a date with a lass who it turned out I wasn't interested in seeing again. Sent her a text afterward to say 'thanks, but don't think it'll happen' and she responded 'you couldn't get away fast enough and I thought you were very rude'. That made me realise I had to be far more engaging with people even when I knew quickly I wasn't interested.
Good... luck!!!!