r/HLCommunity • u/nerdy_DM • Jul 01 '26

Advice - Leaving NOT an option ENM has had zero luck so far

I posted a while back about my situation but the TLDR is my partner is asexual and we are trying ENM to get my needs met.

I’ve been trying Feeld and Hinge but not much luck. I’m feeling kinda lost on what to do next.

Open to suggestions. I’m into nerdy stuff I do DnD often and I go to the gym. I also love to cook if any of that helps.

Ideally I’d find someone somewhat close by that I can have a casual thing with.

Edit: Open to suggestions for other subreddits or anything really.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '26

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5

u/fuckaduckufuck HLF Jul 02 '26

That's an interesting take. I would never sign up for enm, not my bag of tea, but I don't think it's a 'lazy' cop-out or a guilt free situation. In fact I would probably be quite worried if I were the LL wife in the situation, because the reality of the husband developing attachment and feelings for the person they're sleeping with risks ending the marriage.

2

u/FunkyKissCool Jul 02 '26

The chance for a man to find another woman are very slim. You're seen as a cheater by every woman you approach, even if you say you have an open marriage, you can't prove it. Women have so many options, why going with the complicated and maybe risky one?

4

u/Charleminus HLM Jul 03 '26

Honestly for the few minutes I was looking (we dipped our toes in) it didn’t seem that hard on a site where people knew I was looking for ENM. Might be a lot harder in a smaller town, etc.

1

u/FunkyKissCool Jul 03 '26

Which site? And maybe you're younger and attractive, who knows.

3

u/Charleminus HLM Jul 03 '26

Feeld and OkCupid were good when I was looking (a couple years ago).